Single, but taken.

"Like a family....kinda'"....

2011-08-02T11:08:00.000-05:00

Having decided not to work yesterday, I took efforts to catch up on things around the house, catch up on TIVO, BS on the phone with friends, and generally have a lazy day.

This has been a rather past week, and I'll get to them a bit later, but for now, I'll just catch up with what's currently happening.

FF came over after work with her kiddo (Tommy) to just relax, I ran to get some KFC and ate on the floor of my living room. He's fallen in love with my TIVO and my HDTV, and I let him watch cartoons as FF and I discussed our day.

In case you're wondering, Rabbit and James was spending time at her father's this month. Custody thing. Whatever.

Having concluded to compromise on our living arrangements, I quietly surrendered to living in the burbs until at least Rabbit graduates from High school.
This does several things:

*This keeps her two oldest from switching high schools, which I kinda' think is important.
*This will force us to rent a home/apartment in the area, since there is no point in buying something that short term.
*Once the other two leave the nest, we can actually buy a smaller home since, by that time, Tommy will only stay for couple of more years until HE goes to college.

We can live in a cramped home for awhile. It's not that big of a deal. The only thing holding us now is my lease which I happened to sign a few months ago out of habit. So we can take our time and finding something suitable.
During our snacking and Sponge bob square pants commentary from the little one, she was coming to terms with commuting.
She recently gotten a new job with better opportunities...unfortunately for her, she had to leave a job that was 5 minutes away, to one that was closer to Downtown Houston, 30 minutes away.
She complained about the added time and cost of fuel and glared at me slightly when gave her that "welcome to my world" look.
When I move in, my commute is going to be horrid. I think she realize how big of a concession this was for me.
Yes. I love it when I'm proven right.
She's starting to learn she isn't involved with an idiot. But I DO have my moments, I'm a guy after all.

After decimating the chicken, and during some mild horse play with the boy, kitty decided to make her appearance and managed to steal an uneaten leg of chicken and took it to the kitchen.
What the hell?

While I was hanging the boy from his ankles and swinging him around, FF was looking incredulously at bitchcat reach into the bucket, grab a drumstick and put it in her bowl in the kitchen.

Not much has changed.
After I threw the kid down on a sea of cushions on the floor, we went ahead and settled down for some movie watching, the he made a comment he was unsure, but comfortable with.

"It's just like we're a family...kinda'."

FF and I just smiled at each other and enjoyed the rest of our evening....

A long time coming

2011-03-17T21:13:00.002-05:00

I have been quite lazy in my postings over the last year, but truth be told there wasn't much to write about. FF and I have been going along just fine. The sex is great, she seems more open to some more of my "bizarre" requests and may be actually hosting a party in the not so distant future.
So for the few remaining readers, I will gamely try to catch you up.
As I write this, I'm currently in the clutches of southwest airlines somewhere near chicago on my way back home. The reason for my flying, despite my fairly irrational hate of flying is that my daughter got married this week. The signs around her apartment hints at some less than normal sex life. Since it is creepy for a father to think of such thoughts without getting uncomfortable,i will stop right there.
Forgive me if I am a little disjointed as we just hit a long stretch of turbulence and writing calms me down.
I have been taking a fairly active role with the kids as I spend more and more time. They are a little undecided as to how to think of me, but realize I am swift in punishments if they are not complaint with their mom's wishes or their chores.
Even bitch cat wasn't spared to change and was introduced to the family dog one day when she came after a vet visit.
True to her nature, she gave no ground and just stared at the dog that was as big as she was when she approached. The dog did give some thought (pause?) about licking her, but my fully armed cat made her reconsider that move.
She is a cat of significant size, y'know.
So far, the three only real sticking points is where to move to.
City v. 'Burbs.
About to land and hopefully the rest of the flight will be less bumpy.
Did I mention that I hate flying?

Wedding betrayal.

2010-11-06T18:28:00.001-05:00

Things have been going well overall, so everything is perfectly boring, which is just fine with me.
I even got the oldest a musical instrument since I figure it would be something to distract him from some of the bad influences he's been involved with and had taken to the instrument immediately.

Meanwhile, issues with my own kid seem to have gotten a but more exciting; it seems that she is interested in getting married.
While I am a realist about this sort of thing,i was a bit peeved about not waiting until she's finished with her undergraduate degree.

Fine. I'll get over it, but secretly I was thrilled. He's a fine young man with ambition and certainly has potential.

While discussing potential dates, she commented that *I* wasn't going to walk her down the isle.

I was devastated.
I was angry.

She comments to me that she wanted to walk herself down the isle, because she felt she was always an adult. Needless to say that I wasn't thrilled by that statement.

It was later when FF, who had joined her facebook page, asked her the reasoning behind her choices. It basically came down that the tradition was stupid and just because I was raised in the last "millennium" that didn't mean that she had to follow them.

It was at this point when I decided that I can't count on her to take care of me in my old age as I have done with her grandmother, an unspoken expectation and tradition within the family.
It was at this point that I decided I need to look after my own interests and let heer pay her own way thru college, as I have been paying her tuition in cash up until now.

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Rebirth of a blog

2010-09-29T11:44:00.000-05:00

This blog, I think will take a bit of a new turn, while it seems that I'm in a relationship that continues to grow, this blog, like people, has to grow as well.
I will start including more of family/relationship and as well the children. As usual, I will take great pains to disguise details as much as possible so people won't put two and two together.

Will I be deleting the previous posts?
No. The posts are about who I was at the time, and this will show a chronological sense of my journey from someone single, to someone that isn't.

Will this alter my other blog?
Hardly, but it will change a bit. FF's role will increase on there and will participate, or even arrange the parties and perhaps even talk about some of her CL adventures on here.

Will FF know about the blogs?
No. Period. If anything, I will have to find a creative way to hide this blog from my histories once the inevitable merging occurs.

Will sex be mentioned on here?
As it was previously, no. But the various topics ABOUT sex and what couples go through will be talked about.

What else will be mentioned on here?
For starters, my relationship with FF her friends and family, as well as my own.
Expect a bit more drama as well, particularly between me, her kids and my own child as we all go through a transition of sorts. While mine is away in college, she is feeling a bit of a need to extend her own independence at the expense of any feelings I may have on the various topics.

Updates

2010-09-29T01:45:00.002-05:00

I know it has been quite some time since I have updated.
Truth be told, nothing of significance has occurred until recently. It seems that I will be adding some new characters to my lineup:

Kiddo, as you know is my..well, college child and has been mentioned in passing.

"James", is her oldest. Obnoxious kid that is trying to find himself, so I kinda' cut him a little slack. It seems like he's well on his way on being a world class douchebag as he gets older*, but I'll work on that.

Rabbit, is a younger sister a couple of years younger. She's also trying to find herself in that awkward stage. I hate to say it, but she's not that bright. ("14+7=24, right?")

Tommy, who is the youngest. He acts and thinks like a typical child of his age, so I give him quite a bit of slack, much to FF's dismay.

This past weekend, we stayed at a hotel in Downtown to simply enjoy each others company (Read: fuck our brains out) and had a chance to actually move beyond the drivel we normally talk about and started getting into some other more meaningful topics.
I think we're about to move into a bit of the next stage. No, "I love you's" were exchanged, but I think it is safe to say they were implied.
We got the big "Swinger" topic out of the way and is willing to play up to a point, but I will get to that later.

The weekend ended well, we were happy and content** and all was right with the world.
But there was one slight thing that kinda' happened before the weekend.
Katy and I have been talking, but nothing serious and I will touch upon that in the OTHER blog.
Then this past friday, Stella mentioned that she was moving into town. The conversation I can't really share, but I pretty much told her that I'm off the market, but I didn't tell her if FF OK's it, that's another story..

As FF and I are talking and I'm giving her the heads up and history of stella, my phone buzzes with an incoming email.

Andi.

Do these girls have impeccable timing or what?

* C'mon, you know the assholes, douchebags, and jerks you know now had to come from SOMEWHERE.
**You know you had a good weekend when your cock is sore.

Circling the drain...

2010-03-01T01:35:00.000-06:00

The past few weeks have been amazingly troubling and busy, and because of it our time together has shrunk considerably.
Forgive me if this is a bit more rambling than usual, but some details can't be spoken about due to the unusual facets of it.

The lack of time together has been because of conflicting schedules; mine is work, and hers is with her children.
That was expected from the get go and I was good about it.

Lately, there has been some troubles regarding her older son (still a teen) who seems to have had some disciplinary problems.
It's nothing that my child has hasn't done, but she was smart enough to not get caught and has straightened out.

However, her child HAS been caught in the past and is now facing a charge that is something that could stick with him beyond his childhood years.

The thing that angers me the most is that he STILL doesn't get how serious it is.
While this may sound very selfish, I have a feeling this will also affect the little dating time FF and I are able to accomplish.
It is this fact along with other concerns that have been driving me a little crazy.
I know kids eventually will fly straight, my kid has, but it's just a reminder of the trials and heartaches that raising a child can be.
Knowing what is ahead terrifies me, but I feel that I have an advantage of "been there, done that" parenting wise, but to say that it is a bit disconcerting is to put it mildly.

To have her crying trying to say that she "don't want you to think I raise bad kids" while she's on the verge of totally losing it just makes me wonder if I should pull the plug on this or not.

When does this parenting thing end?

2010-02-19T03:04:00.000-06:00

I was at a the world series watching the Astros.
Just got my hotdog, IF is next to me holding a couple of big beers and I have a slight buzz.
To make it even better, a couple of sexy ladies and I were chatting up a bit and things seemed quite promising.
VERY promising.

A loud annoying noise seems to come through the intercom.

I ignore it and the game is about to start and a possible 3some afterward seemed to be hanging in the air.

The noise came again.

I pried open my eyes and realized it was all a dream and reached for the annoying noise which was coming from my phone.

"Hey Dad."
I mumble something in return.
"Asleep? It's almost noon!"
"I work nights, dear. Remember? How much do you want this time?" I do a mental check of my bank account and hoping she has some mercy.
"Daaaaad, who is ?" I still miss being called "Daddy."
"Who?" I start to wake up..the name sounded familiar...but not quite right.
". She just asked to be join my facebook."
"Oh...that must be FF."
"She said something about being your girlfriend."
Uh-oh.
"Yes. She is. What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Never known you to have a girlfriend that you introduced to me before on facebook. By the way, how did she know where to look? You're not on facebook."
I weave a story of mystery of how she told me the name of the book and happen to mention it to her.
"I see." I can feel lazer beams coming out at me. "Did you meet HER kids yet?"
"Yes, I did."
"And?"
"Well, it was interesting. Didn't know if they were okay with me and haven't met them again."
"Just so you know, it's kinda' tough seeing your parents date for the first time."
I was stunned at this, considering I have been single for almost her entire life...

We went on like this for a bit, talking on how her friend's parents were divorced and the ensuing dating issues that came up. I paraded quite a few women in front of her, but usually I was in a "serious" relationship at the time. Nothing TOO scandalous.

"You okay with all this?" I finally got around to asking.
"Dad. You've dated more women than quite a few people I've known and those are jut the ones I know about! You've never discussed your dating or sex life with me, and for that, I'm eternally grateful."
That wasn't so hard!
"Then we're good?"
"Sure are Dad. One thing, though."
"Yes?"
"Since you mentioned she just got divorced, do you think she's ready?"
That's what I love about my kiddo. No filter.
"Not sure yet." I didn't mention my other concerns yet, "Is that it?"
"If you still want to send me money, I'm good with that too."
"I love you, bye."
"Bye dad."

Hopefully she won't spoil my chances, believe it or not, she blocked me once. But that's another story for another time.

Concerns and Questions...

2010-02-18T03:35:00.000-06:00

Been meaning to put these thoughts down for at least a few weeks, but as is typical for me, only an illness that has kept me home provided me the time to be able to allow myself some quiet time to collect my thoughts.

Things have been progressing quite well with FF and I, however, a few minor things keep creeping up in the back of my mind that just nibble at me:

One thing is our conversations. They're a bit too simplistic and quite...pedestrian. All we seem to talk about are our jobs, sex, and kids. Not that there is anything wrong with either topic, but I like to know her thoughts on current events, political leanings, thoughts for the future. Additionally, she occasionally gives me a blank stare when I use a word that she hasn't heard before. "Contention" is one of the words that come to mind.
Now, not to say I'm a brainiac by any stretch of any acid tripper's imagination, but that really throws me.

Another thing, is that as she struggles through her college reading materials, she says she constantly needs to bring out a thesaurus to help her understand.

Wow.

When we talk about what happens after college, she mentions that not only will she stay in the industry she's in (which is low paying to begin with), but will try to maintain her position since she enjoys it so much.

Really?

That seems unnatural for me. The point of college (or any profession, really), is the ability to climb the ladder of the economic food chain and get more responsibility and get paid for your knowledge and experience.

This kinda' spooks me a bit.
While she is getting a VERY generous child and spousal support from her Ex; there is always a possibility that things can, and will, change. I wonder if her basically being a housewife for the past 15+ years and being financially dependent on her husband has skewed her view on how she has to concentrate on being a bread winner.

Not that her future wage potential alarms me, but rather the indifference she has towards climbing up the ladder.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling a bit woozy and when kitty sounds like she's uttering sentences, that's my Que that I need to lay back down.

When Insecurities interfere....

2010-01-26T12:13:00.000-06:00

I think it's time for a bit of an update:

FF and I have been dating semi-regularly, but only once a week or so. My work and her obligations make our dating life a bit sedate of sorts, but we do manage to get in some smooching sessions going on, though.

There has been a pattern over the past month that has gotten to me. I know this is way to early for us to stress out about, but she seems to be torn as to where to live. I love the city and all the opportunities that can be found here. She seems to be mired into living in one of the outlying southern communities.

While I understand the logic behind what she wants, she seems overly concerned at this stage of our relationship. So much so, that we had "broken up" right after New Years.

The "Break up" consisted of her dating other guys. Something I had suggested to her awhile ago.

Her insecurity about me is starting to get to the point of annoyance everytime she brings it up.
After our last meeting, she texted me the following...out of the blue:

"I don't want to lose you."
"Want me to attach a GPS on my ankle??"
"No. I'm afraid to lose you if you find someone better, but I'm not sure I'm ready to let you go if you do."

I roll my eyes, almost causing me to have an accident on an empty freeway.

Tossing my phone over my shoulder into the backseat, I continue driving home...

Twit Twittering about...and about twittering twit.

2010-01-08T12:50:00.000-06:00

In case a few humble readers have notice, I put a twittering widget on the site.
Over the past few months, I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to blog about the things that have happened (and am working on 3 different posts from December!), so I'd thought I'd cave into the popularity of it and do a little micro-blogging.

At least in this way, you can see what goes on and what might trigger a post.

Additionally, my kiddo has had some interesting insight on some of my dating exploits (the women, not the sex.) so I might include some of our more interesting conversations in.

And for those wondering, I'm down to 110 posts on my google reader.
I'm off to work in this god for saken cold weather.

"Are you married?" WTF?

2010-01-06T12:23:00.001-06:00

During one of our late night meetings, we sat at a table at a chain restuaraunt and we were generally talking about our day, the upcoming holidays and other topics.
As reached for my meal she asked, "Are you married?"
I choose this moment to pop in some pieces of my scalding hot meal and flapped open my mouth trying to cool it down from giving me 3rd degree burns.
"wha? huh?", I said as intelligently sounding as I could considering the freshly fried shrimp was taking revenge in my mouth.
she repeated the question.
"Umm...why?" as I scooped out the last of the offending pieces of my once bitten meal out of my mouth and onto my plate.
I can be as classy as the rest of them.
"You're charming, intelligent, cute, graceful..", she paused
I was busily trying to fish out another ice cube from my glass with my fingers while sucking another in my mouth with my lips puckered like a fish as she said this.
she continued, "...ok. usually. You seem like an excellent father to your kid...", and she went on for another minute until I regained my senses and stopped her.
Regaining what little composure I have, I reassured her that I am not, have never been, nor am I currently engaged.
I even picked up my phone to dial up my kiddo for verification, but she stopped me.
She smiled that sweet smile and seemed satisfied and apologized for doubting me.
We finished our small meal and paid, it was time for her to go back home.
"I'm sorry for doubting you, but I just needed to make sure. Will you accept my apology? I know I must seem a bit crazy, but there have been some weird guys I have dated that turned out to be married."
"No?! REALLY??" I said in my most surprised tone.
"Yeah, you wouldn't believe the creeps a girl runs across." she said.

I didn't want to keep her out, so I patted her on the bottom and kissed her deeply at her car door.
"I really am sorry for sounding like a crazy girl." she repeated.
"No biggie, I understand" I said as I walking away.
"Will you accept a blowjob as part of my apology?" she said with a smile.

I started turning around even before she finished the sentence...

Making a return appearence....So long Teaser

2009-12-22T11:22:00.000-06:00

While contemplating another post, my phone buzzed with an email I and habitually picked it up:

Initially the name at the header didn't seem familiar at first and then I read the first line:

"Hey, how've you been? For some reason I've been thinking a lot about you the past few days. I think I miss you!"

I stared at the email for a few more seconds and suddenly recalled that it was Teaser!
The gist of the email was she didn't feel ready to be in a relationship was also apologizing for being a "jerk" (she wasn't being one).

We haven't talked in quite awhile, but I gave her a VERY brief rundown on what has happened in my life, but I didn't give specifics.

Having never said bye to hear, I think THAT door closed on its own quite some time ago.

Meet the kids and a small change...

2009-12-15T13:29:00.000-06:00

The phone buzzed early on saturday morning.

Reaching over the offending object, I will an eye to open up.
It seemed to take forever for it to comply with my suggestion, but it relented.

FF: "We still on for today?"
My eye slammed shut.

Today. Today is.....Sunday? No...it's saturday...
My mind was still warming up. The hamsters take awhile to get out of the straw.
What was Saturday?
I remember the timestamp on the Text..

Noon? 1pm?*

I give up and will my eyes to look at the text again.
12:30.
Close enough.
But what was today? We NEVER meet on Saturdays!
Besides, this was the weekend she has her kids - oh fuck! - her kids!

I bolt out of bed and on the way to the shower, request movie times.

On the way into the shower, I hold a 3 minute debate on whether or not I should shave my beard.
Screw it. No time.

I make it to the more or less at the time I agreed and after severely depleting my wallet with the tickets and concession stand, we make our way to the seats.

We talked for a couple of minutes, but nothing of substance, FF and I simply settled back and watched the movie. Behaving ourselves, we just managed to sneak in a peck on the cheek and a hug.

The "Date" ended as I had to head off to work, but I don't think it was an important enough of a meeting for the kids, but it was important enough for FF.

It was later she heard an exchange with one of her kids and a buddy of his.

"So..how was your mom's new boyfriend?"
"He's cool, I guess."

Good enough for her.

Additionally, I'm taking myself off the "Dating" market. We'll see if this lasts.

*Yes. That's early.

Out of the blue...

2009-12-15T12:51:00.000-06:00

I will get back to my past adventures with FF a bit later:

Currently, I'm under siege a bit.

Andi and I have been talking a bit more than usual. She's asking quite a bit about FF and my life. She seems to be coming around that, as long as I'm seeing FF, there is nothing there for her.

Stella, on the other hand, has no clue and sent me the following text last week:

"My RIV, please call or Txt. I'm planning on being in town for my bday and would like to see you. Will be staying with friends."

I ignore the text for several days and then I get the following:

"I wish you would talk to me."

Once again, I ignore it.

2 hours later, I get a phone call:

"Hey." It was her! Fuck!
"Hey."
We went on to talk about things in general and finally I had to tell her that it was over between us.
Too much time passed and I told her about FF.
Never one to miss an opportunity, she says that it's okay, but wanted to see me to just talk, but if I wanted to bring her along I could.

OH NO! Bad idea!
After a few more minutes, I was noncommittal and we hung up and my heart started to return back to normal.

I'm wondering if perhaps meeting her for a last time to show her I'm not interested.

Nah, I'd think I'd wind up fucking her.
God she was good!

A moment of panic.

2009-12-09T11:20:00.002-06:00

In the middle of working, I got the following:

"Baby...as a reward for finishing classes. Want to take kids and I to the movies Saturday afternoon?"

The second sentence hit me like a thunderbolt.
Isn't this a BIT soon? She IS freshly divorced.

I mean, she has that fresh divorce smell, a hubby that is hyper-sensitive (even though he initiated it).

10 minutes later, I pick up the phone and we discuss this.
I lost.
Of course, I didn't try that hard to win.
It has begun.
With a whimper a new stage of the relationship has started.

In my gut I still feel its WAAAAY too early to be introduced as "The Boyfriend" to her kids, but I can't think of a proper time to do it.

Aw fuck.

One door opens wider, and trying shutting another.

2009-11-30T12:28:00.000-06:00

The progression between FF and I as a couple, seems to be moving forward.
Seems like she wants me to meet the kids within the next few weeks or so.
Personally, I think it's a bit too soon, but it's something she wants to happen, so I'm not going to argue too much about it.

She continues to tell me about her variety of Craig's list posts and responses she confessed that one in which one that she answered for a massage went much further than she intended. She asked if I would be opposed to go one with her.

My comment was that I'd probably make it worse and have both of the guys do her instead.
She just giggled about it and we let the matter drop. Either way, things seems to be on the road to be more serious between us.

Since she still actively goes on CL for a variety of reasons, I'm not going to get into too much of what she specifically looks for or anything.

A few hours later, as I was writing ANOTHER post, Andi came up on one of my IM's.

Andi says:
Hello
how was your thanksgiving?
RIV says:
Hey there. how are you? Doing okay, worked it mostly.
Andi says:
so whats new?
RIV says:
Not too much. Might be meeting my g/fs kids in a week or two.

Andi says:
cool
Nervewracking ..meeting the kids huh?
oh wow
RIV says:
Yes, I think it's a bit soon, but if that's what she wants, I can't really argue about it. She's the best judge on that.
If things work out, I might get married sometime in the next two years or so as well, but we'll see.*
Andi says:
oh wow
thats great
RIV says:
yeah, she's freshly divorced, so I have to take it easy.
Andi says:
I get that
Meeting the kids is a big step..so one thing at a time
RIV says:
I'm sure you do, the divorce was final just recently.
Andi says:
Okay
I could think of no other appropriate response to that ..lol
RIV says:
LOL. not much you can say to that, really.
Andi says:
I guess not
RIV says:
I've been rather gunshy with divorcee's as of late.. had two other ones bail because they weren't ready.
Andi says:
I dont blame you there..i dated way before I was ready and well it was a disaster
I am in a much better place now
RIV says:
Exactly.
Which is why I'm actively encouraging her to meet other guys.
Andi says:
Okay
I can see that
Can I tell you something?
RIV says:
sure.
Andi says:
I feel like everytime I talk to you , I want to tell you thanks for talking to me again.. I know it sounds nuts but thanks for the second chance.
RIV says:
Oh. Okay.
To be honest with you, you didn't get a second chance. You dropped off my dating radar.
Andi says:
I know that but I am glad we can be friends at least
i am the same way as you , I am not forgiving when people are like I was.
I can close a chapter with the best of them
Rick says:
surely.
Andi says:
Its a regret though.. but anyway I should finish this marketing project
Have a good night..
RIV says:
G'nite.
Andi says:
thanks for clarifying that for me, I assumed as much. have a really good christmas in case I dont catch you. I am really glad to hear things are working out for you. But I am sorry about us.
RIV says:
No problem. Take care.
Andi says:
One last thing, its the most important. I hope you get all the happiness you deserve, you are priceless.

With that, she logged off before I had a chance to reply.

I continued working on that "OTHER" post and a few minutes later, she was back and the conversation turned decidedly sexual in tone.

This is NOT what I was expecting after that chat.
We wound up watching part of the Star Wars marathon together and had the oddest convos.

"Luke would be such a BORING lay" would be one of the comments uttered by her.
"How does Darth Masturbate in that thing?" she said at one point.
"Probably uses the 'Force'." I typed without even a pause to think about it.

Somehow, in our typical rambling way, the conversation turned to the parties I throw**, and hinted she'd be interested, but I can't be there unless I was her "partner."

A few minutes after it started to turn into cybersex, I just said I needed to go to bed and called it a night and told her I had to get ready for bed.
I'm sure it was quite frustrating for her.

A few minutes later I got a text from her, "I never seen you run so fast before."
I ignored it and crashed.

* While I'm not sure if FF and I are going there anytime soon, I'd thought I'd throw that out there to see if I can plant that I really don't want her contacting me. I can be TOO subtle at times.
** She doesn't know the extent or the blog, and I doubt if she ever will.

You know you're busy when....

2009-11-29T11:56:00.000-06:00

....you have over 300 posts blinking at you from various bloggers.

Starfish and I have been either very busy or sick, so the writing is coming along VERY slowly.
For the 3 or 4 readers I have left, I just ask you to be patient.

I HAVE to start writing because there is much to share since I've been home!

Really.
I promise.
This week.
Maybe.

Okay, maybe next week.

Incidentals, updates, emails, etc...

2009-11-16T00:35:00.000-06:00

I've been far too busy to put up regular posts on things, so this is a heavily abridged version.

-Updates:

FF and I have been getting along just fine, met up a few times here and there, but our conflicting schedules will make it almost impossible for us to meet for the next couple of weeks.
Theoretically. It might be sooner.

One of the things she mentioned was that she was still going on "dating interviews" with other guys.
She complained how some were running the spectrum of the reasons as why she was rejecting them.
When she got down to "He was too 'Hand-sy'" I had to simply pull over and laugh.

"Really?"
"Yes, he was too forward."
"Compared to OUR first meeting??"
She allowed that we WERE a BIT comfortable with each other and droned on for a bit about it.
I just let it pass.

She asked if I was okay with it, and I totally played it cool. Last thing I need is ANOTHER instance of a woman backing off because she wasn't ready.

Within the past couple of days, she's been particularly moody, she snapped out of one of her bouts to confide that the decree has been written up and that the divorce should be final within a week or so.
After telling me this, she breaks down over the phone and just hates it and wonders why he's being an ass about some issues.
I calm her down a bit and told her I understood, but that the road doesn't end there, when it comes to divorce with kids, it'll extend out for years.

She didn't like that response, but I thought it would be best not to mince words on the truth: Divorce is ugly.
Calming down after a bit, she wanted to continue the convo on text because she didn't feel like she can hold it together.

"I'm sorry, I'm acting this way, it's my first divorce."
Yeah. It sucks.

Comments/Emails:

Quite a few people have asked why don't we just "get a room" and it's quite simple, because of her situation, she needs to be able to get home fairly quickly, so with the exception of a date a bit ago we stick to necking in cars.

Plus if feels dirty that way...dirty is fun.

There is also a need for her to be fairly close to home, the unique nature of the custody of the kids, doesn't allow me to tell any specifics about it. Basically, she needs to be able to get home in a fairly short amount of time on short notice.

A day at the opera/Cheap hotel sex!

2009-10-27T05:29:00.001-05:00

Saturday
We set up a date, hoping for a "celibate" get together and hoping for a showing of "Aida" during the Met's opera season, in which I hope to be a regular attendee and I wanted to know if she can appreciate such things since she's never been exposed to it.
During the showings, she seemed very interested and seemed to react accordingly. During one of the intermissions, a charming older woman, who I have seen but never met, started up a chit-chat about the opera and previous performances and such and criticism about this and other productions.
No, I'm not an Opera expert, but I DO have certain opinions.
Poor FF. She seemed so lost at some of my opera jokes. ("Less oboe! Less Oboe!")
Later she admitted to me that she was not used to not being one of the "Smarter" people in the room. I said a few things to settle down her ego a bit. Just the same, she was out of her element and she wasn't used to it.
After the lights went on, we got out of the theater, walked to her car, gave her a warm kiss, and a loving spank on her bottom and parted ways.
Her to her kids, and I to my work.
I quickly pulled out of my space and barely entered the roadway when I got a text msg.

FF: We behaved ourselves.

I smiled as I went down the road and parked and put in my response.

ME: Yes, we did. See? we did it and didn't have sex.
FF: I know! Can we have the second part of our date tomorrow?
ME: I think we can manage that.
FF: Can we be naughty at a hotel?
ME: Naughty hotel sex? Deal.
FF: Great!

She went on to describe all sorts of dirty little things that simply tortured me that night.

Sunday Morning-ish

Now one expects that an afternoon full of delights would enable one to simply pop up easily from getting off at about 4am.
No Sirree!
The glare of day had me groaning as I blindly reach for the phone.
I was greeted by a swipe of my Bitchcat's paw.
On my second attempt I retrieved the phone and pried a working eyeball at the small digits.
FUCK! 10am!
I fly -well, stumble really- out of bed, shower and give her a call as I started heading to the shower to confirm our sex marathon.

I wanted something fairly close to her home so she can see to her kids if something had to interrupt us, so that limited in my choices. Texting her to start driving towards where we met and I quickly searched the area hotels.
Each one was full, but I had to show you this from one of the stops:

Yes, I actually took this photo. It gave me a bit of a giggle, to say the least. I swear, you can't make stuff like this up.

We settled on one of the few empty places in a motel that had a working WIFI connection, of which she (quite sheepishly) asked for.
After renting the room, I asked her to join me at another little spot for breakfast.
I was famished since I hadn't had anything to eat yet.
She joined me for a cup of coffee* as I devoured my meal.

"Eat up, cutie. You're going to need your energy."

I stopped in mid chew, with must have been a fairly stupid looking stare. At least, more stupid looking than usual.
Her eyes smiled as she looked at me over the coffee cup as she took sip from it and then shifted over to our cars in the parking lot.
No. I'm not that stupid.
I kept on chewing as I quickly slid the room key to her and she ran for the car.
The waitress, alarmed at what seemed might be happening, I waved a $20 in the air as I gulped down as much water to wash down my, not quite finished meal and put it on the table.
She rushed over and eyed the money as I said a hasty "Good day" to her.
A 100% tip would easily pacify the ire of a waitress.
Going through the door, she waved at me as she was speeding out of the parking lot to the hotel that was listed on the key.
By the time I caught up, the door was open, her jeans were on the floor...and she was nowhere in sight.
My puzzlement was instantly answered as she came out of the bathroom wearing a skirt.
A VERY short skirt.

She turned around to apply some lipstick in the mirror and she prepared for an embrace, but she was greeted with a embrace and some neck nibbling.
Any other plans she might have had were gone in an instant as I bent her over in front of the mirror, raised her skirt and entered from behind.
Only a couple of minutes into it, she immediately dropped to her knees to taste herself on my cock and went to the bed for a nice session.
She got up to use the bathroom and asked if it was okay if she used the laptop for a bit, there was something she needed to do.
Telling her I had no problem with that, I turned on the TV and went through the limited selection in channels.
Being sunday, there was nothing on and I flipped through the channels to look for something interesting.
As a football game flickered on she showed interest.
Considering there was nothing else on, I figured it was something to watch while she was on the laptop.
I commented at the score, I was surprised that the Texans were leading.

"Yeah, they had a bigger lead earlier before the half."

I had that stupid look on my face and once again she gave me that sheepish grin.

"I was listening to it on the way in," she responded offhandedly.

She knows I'm a baseball guy, so I didn't really care. I was too busy focusing on a tempting bottom as she was bent at her laptop.

"What ARE you doing anyway?"
My curiosity finally got the better of me.
"You're not going to get mad are you?"
WTF?
"Uh...no. Why?"
"I'm updating my Fantasy Football stuff."
"Okay."**

15 minutes or so later, she was back to me doing a bit of snuggling and smooching. A bit later still, I was reminded that the TV was still on and I joked that we are probably one of the few couples in America that are having a football game on while totally ignoring it, and I reached for the remote.

"Umm..", I looked down, and damnit. There is that grin again.
"Yes?"
"I wasn't listening to the play by play, I'm just listening to the commentators."
"Wanna watch the last 10 minutes, dear?"
"You're sweet! Thank you!"
I could only just smile and shake my head as she turned away and pushed her bottom into me.

With the game finished, we proceeded for some great sessions, including pictures and vids!***
The highlight of second half (so to speak), was pinning her down in a vulnerable position with her splayed open while I bit and sucked at her breasts.
Her moans got louder and she tried to grind her pelvis into me, but I kept just out of reach.
It was after I reached down to her sex that I realized that she was not only soaked, but drenched.
Towards the end of THAT session, she told me she was having orgasm after orgasm and was obviously (to her) gushing.
She never experienced anything like that before.
Go me. :)

The sun had long set by the time we finally left the room and went to our respective cars.
She whispered to me, "You know, there is nothing like hot and dirty hotel sex."
Scooting out of my reach, she left to go pick up her kids before her soon-to-be Ex arrived.

I can't disagree with her statement.

Heading home, I relaxed at home ready for a long night of paperwork and TV.

It was at 1am when succumbed to sleep.

*being a human of the daytime, she had already eaten just before I was awake.

**Boy, can I pick a good name for them or what?
*** I'll think about posting it if I can edit it enough.

Working hard, looking for a goal, with visions in my head

2009-10-22T15:01:00.000-05:00

Pardon me for the weird(er) shit that I'm typing out than usual.

I've been working solid since my personal Madoff, I gotta raise money for my kids college tuition and my trip to a little party I have planned, plus some other plans I have in mind.

Usually there is a sound track of what is going on in my mind and lately some young angry Billy Joel comes up:

But lately, I had a few lucky breaks and an epiphany that I simply need to let things happen and that my overall long term goals aren't as far as I had initially imagined. What really helped was listening to this song that I "discovered" on the radio.

I think I'm going to follow that path next year and maybe a month vacation and bum around on a beach and support the local beer/vodka/Scotch industry, I work too damned much.

Celibacy...what's that? date updates and catching up.

2009-10-22T13:02:00.000-05:00

Well, I've had two dates with her since I last wrote but I've simply been too busy with work, drama, and FF to able to keep up so here is a basic update for the 3 three readers that seem to care. :)

Our date a couple of weeks ago, we tried a simple movie night at her place.
We never made it beyond 30 minutes before clothing started to fall off.

The sex was wild, it was insane, it was JUST this side of rough.
My god how she gushed, it was awesome.
Of course, I HAD to drink up every oz I could; it would be a shame to get it on her couch.

This past weekend, we tried for the celibacy thing again.
Destination: The Greek Festival.
Damn. There was rain. We divert to a mexican joint I love.
We're sitting there and talking.
I love the city. Vibrant, colorful, tons to do.
"I hope to move near here soon." as I was scooping in some of my tasty meal.
"You like living in town?"
It was that TONE.
"Yes, near baseball, the museums, theater, etc. I love it."
"So you're not interested in a house?" I didn't spot it this time.
"Oh, Hell no. I've done the house thing. Gimme a condo or townhome."
The discussion then went to how she loves the 'burbs. The quiet. The peace.

I almost gagged on my breakfast.
Been there. Done that. Hated it.
I mean, not that there is anything wrong with it, but it's not for ME!

The conversation was interrupted by our server and our collective ADD switched topics to a favorite topic: Food.

The date ended with a serious smooching/eating session, as usual in my car. Go fig.

we managed to meet for a late night dinner or two and things seemed to go well.

Then yesterday I get a text:

Her: "Why do we orture ourselves with dating when we know we can't agree where to live if we're together?"

WTF? Where did THAT come from? During some of our talks, I suggested a public school within the city that specializes in the career he was interested in. Since she was new to the city, she had no idea it existed and seemed somewhat taken aback that such an opportunity was there.

We texted a bit furiously after that and asked her if she just wanted to call it off, she responded with the following:

"I won't bring it up again. Friend just advised me o grow up and live for what I've got and not plan for future but let things happen."

Lord how people over-analyze things when they're dating.

Empty streets....

2009-09-29T00:43:00.000-05:00

I've had a rough couple of weeks on different levels from major to minor. Of course, there is that little matter of FF and I. We need to resolve some issues on our next date. So, having a need to simply take a chance to relax and let myself decompress.

One of the great things about my job is that I simply stop what I'm doing, leave and take a bit to compose myself if I'm having a rough day (night, whatever).

Going into downtown, I pull over and take a walk for a few blocks. I always try to have a camera with me, so I'd thought sharing what I see at night would be an interesting to see how see the world.

While I'm in a heavily populated city, it empties out after most businesses and bars close and the night shift is well underway.

This is what it's like in the middle of the night while most everyone is deep in slumber.
I always recommend to people that they need to visit their own city late at night. After walking a few blocks, the local security guards, occasional cop, and garbage worker and I exchange nods. People always associate walking around downtown after dark is tantamount to asking to be mugged or worse. Generally speaking, in this town, downtown is about as safe as walking around your own suburban neighborhood. The thing is, to me the empty streets are simply another form of beauty.

Either way, it was a walk well needed.
You guys should try it sometime.

As you can see, it really looks different.
Enjoy the pictures.

I want my cartoon network!

2009-09-23T13:50:00.000-05:00

You know, I've had a rough couple of days and needing some laughs, I tune into the cartoon network for some Family guy, Robot Chicken, and Metalocalypse (my newest addictions).
I'm greeted with an image that chills my heart:

Effective Sept. 22, 2009

Comcast Customers

will need to have a digital converter box in order to

receive Cartoon Network

Call 1-800Blahblahblah

My heart sank.
No big deal. I'll just call them later, upgrade my service a tad, get Cable Cards (to bypass the lousy box) and everything will be right in the world.

When I woke up, first thing I did was call them.* I cheerfully asked for an upgrade and a couple of media cards.**

"Okay sir, no problem."

"Great. Didn't know how dependent I was on the Cartoon Network until it went away."

"Umm....sir? You still need the box."

"What?"

"You need to have the box if you still want that network."

He went on to give me Techno-babble about the reasoning behind it, basically saying that it's no longer broadcast on the analog, just digital.

"Cool. Upgrade me to that package, and get me the cards." What's an extra 10-15 bucks a month, eh?

"Sir, you still need the converter box for it."

"What? I have to get the HD Package to get it?" Fuck. Okay. My old TV is dying, been waiting to get a new HD one.*** I immediately start my inner debate between Plasma and LCD. 39-42 inches should do. Oh yeah! Plus, Blu-ray! Hmm...I wonder what Blu-Ray porn would look like on that screen?

"Sorry Sir, you will still need to get the Box." He said it with THAT tone that one uses when speaking to an exceptionally slow child, of which I'm sure I was starting to sound at this point.

He continued to explain for a bit.

A cable box. I don't WANT a cable box! I have a clean looking system!

"Okay. Let me get this straight. If I got the ultra-high end package with HD, and just use the cable card right into my TiVO; I can get ALL the channels, right?"

"Correct, sir. Except for the Cartoon Network."

How BADLY do I want this damned Network?

"Okay. Cool. I'll decide later and I appreciate your help. But can I talk to a Tech person, I'm trying to wrap my head around this. Nothing personal, I'm just not getting it."

"No problem, Sir. Quite a few people don't."

Lovely.

After a few moments on hold, I get a tech and she explains to me the same techno-babble the sales guy did.

"REALLY?"

"Yes, Sir. No matter what package you have, to you HAVE to have that cable box. The media cards won't do it. There is no additional cost to get a box."

"That's not really the point, I don't WANT a box!"

"Sorry, Sir!"

I thank her, and out of politeness I wished her a good day and hung up. I was enraged.

Fuck. I guess I'll go get a cable box, but I still better be able to record two programs at once, damnit!

I swear, it's a conspiracy by the Cable box industry!

Now I'm depressed again.

Damn you, Robot Chicken and Metalocalypse! Why must you be so...entertaining!

*God, Maybe I AM depressed!

** I heart my TIVO. Really. Buy one. All you have to do is plug the buggers in and voila! No need for a box!

*** I said I took a hit, but I'm not destitute!

"There but by the grace of God go I"

2009-09-23T04:48:00.001-05:00

The well known utterance by John Bradford, who actually said; ""There but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford."
Anyway.
There has been a number of fellow bloggers who appear that their worlds have been shaken by some personal calamity of some nature, whether its financial, emotional, or marital. Being keenly aware of what seems to be a chain of drama, I was wondering when it was going to hit someone I knew.
Little did I realize how true my prediction would be, but I didn't think it was going to be ME!
I'm continuously aware of how one's fortune is incredibly tenuous at times. More-so than most people actually believe, really. It's not merely those that are very poor that can go down a slide, but those of the super rich as well.
Madoff and Stanford are those that decided that the wealthy need a blow to their egos and get ripped off. The ones that have been on the news after such issues just seem to be in a major state of shock when they find themselves, quite literally penniless overnight.

Whenever I see someone who is less fortunate or going through some trial in life, I always say a small prayer giving thanks, that I am not in their position and strive hard to not to be in the same situation.

Without getting into too much details, I can say I had my own Madoff, but on a VERY smaller scale.
Basically, most of my liquid assets were totally wiped out.
Not to say I'm broke, I still have other savings, but some things need to be pushed back a bit. Needless to say I was more than a little peeved about the whole thing.
After talking to Starfish, Football Fan, and some other friends about it (and in slightly greater detail) they were amazed on how calm I was.
I wasn't screaming, crying, throwing tantrums, or cursing.
Well, maybe I was cursing a little.
To me, it just simply seemed like a waste of energy and I needed to take stock and form a plan of action.
I took a day off to recover and drown my sorrows in pasta, eventually coming to the realization that I am going to survive, that I can recover from this, that nothing has changed.
I mean, aside from being a little lighter in the pockets and my waistline took a massive hit, there was little or no damage.

My only major concern was some immediate expenses that needed to be looked after and a trip that I am planning.*

Well, maybe one more concern.

After I hung up the phone in a slight case of depression and a prolonged Texting convo with FF, I asked her the following:

"So does this change things?"
"What does?" she eventually responded.
"My being broke." She doesn't know the extent of my finances, not that they are THAT extensive.
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, you seemed fairly concerned about it and asked. Remember?" I wondered if she genuinely forgot.
"Did I sound that shallow to you when I asked that question? Really am sorry if I did. I don't care, I like you for who you are."
"Thanks."
"We will just have cheap dates for a bit. Maybe more smooching and fewer movies."

That set my mind at ease, she went on to apologize again for a bit longer and eventually told her that I wanted to be alone and sulk.

My time of my pity party is over, though.
Time to pick myself up and move on and get to work.
Still, it was a perfectly good waste of an excuse to get totally wasted on Vodka, but I can't afford it right now. I'll make an appointment to be depressed around April, I should be able to afford another good bender by then.

*Yes. I'm still throwing that party, but it's now an act of defiance. I'll stick to that story.

Ironing the main wrinkles

2009-09-19T15:51:00.001-05:00

My distaste for texting a potential girlfriend rises and falls like a wave. It all depends on the conversation in which it is HOPED that the context isn't overthought out or minimized.

She's walking around behind her kids while they shop around for clothes:

FF: Hey!
Me: HEY!
FF: Working?
Me: No. Just out of shower. I'm squeaky.
FF: Can you make me squeaky?
Me: depends on what you're talking about, but I have made you squeal a few times.
FF: That's what I was meaning.

We go on for a few minutes with some semi-innocent banter for a few minutes and then:

FF: I don't like this. Just frustrated by how much I think of you already.
Me: Oh. Hate it when that happens. Do you need a break?
FF: DON'T YOU DARE! Don't even think about leaving my brain.
Me: LOL. Ok. I seem to remember you saying you wanted to ate other men so you don't make the same mistake.
FF: I'm trying to find guys to date...not working out yet.
Me: I hear ya'. Dating can suck.
FF: I don't think I made mistakes last time.
Me: Oh? I think you alluded to the fact that you picked the wrong guy.*
FF: No. I don't think I choose wrong. Made bad decision to go back to him.
Me: That I can understand and appreciate.

With that, she disappeared failing to complete the conversation.
I'm getting used to this, so I just close the phone and then in frustration I yank my cats tail as a means to vent.**

* During our first meeting, she explained that her husband had cheated on her once before.
**Don't worry, she likes that and a good spanking. No kitties were harmed in the making of this conversation or blog.

Texting promises, concerns, AND a prank...

2009-09-14T14:54:00.000-05:00

While I've been typing up about our dates, I really haven't touched upon the things we've talked about. Of course, I won't be talking about specifics, but I think it's important to give some insight and perhaps prove there really IS more to a relationship than sex.

Over the past few weeks we've been texting* while a bit during work, but she doesn't have the privacy and focus to talk meaningfully on the phone for extended periods of times.
Thanks kids.
This is a combination, somewhat chronologically, of our texting and conversations of what we have talked about during our dates...between smooches, of course, .

Some of the things she brought up were things that I think is appropriate, others were mentioned to me for the first time. Ever.

"So, do you want to swing all the time?" She asked while she was laying on my lap in the backseat of my car.
"No. Just the occasional urge."**
She then proceeded to lay down the ground rules of what she wanted if we get to that point in our "relationship", and they all seemed quite reasonable and told her so.
It seemed to set her mind at ease on the topic.

My phone chirped and was greeted by this:

"I need to hit the gym."
"What did the gym do to you to smack it around?"
"Dork. I mean, I need to go regularly again, my panties fit me funny."
"So? Just go commando."
"Like you? Not my style. I want a tight ass again."
"So go. I need to drop a ton or two myself."
"Are you suggesting I need to lose weight?"
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!
"No, I mean *I* need to drop some weight."
"Why?"
"Because I need to drop some pounds?"
"And?"
"Because it's unhealthy and bad for me?"
"So you're doing it because for your health."
"Yeah, and I don't want to resemble Jabba The Hutt when I get naked."
"Oh. Well, I want to do it because I want to feel good."
"I think you feel good already."

On Kids:

"Are you opposed to having another kid?" she texted out of the blue.
WTF? Where did THAT come from?
"I think I'm done***, I think it wouldn't be fair to have a child at my age."
"Why?"
"After a certain age, it becomes more of a selfish act. You have one in your late 20's or early 30's, you're still fit enough to run after them and are somewhat in tune to what your kids do. Also, I don't want to burden a child with my being in my 60's a they're JUST going off to college."
"I see."
"Is that a good or bad thing?"
After an hour or so. I prompt her again. I HATE our disjointed conversations at times.
"No. I was just thinking of having another."
"Really? Is that a deal breaker?"
"No. Just a negative."
A NEGATIVE?!?!?
"But you have quite a few pluses to counter that."
"Thanks."
"BTW: What is your future income potential?"
Wow! that's a new one on me! Of course, I was telling her that I'm going to shift careers, which meant I was going to start at the bottom, but I was ready for that.
"I'm optimistic, but one can never be sure what the future holds for any career."
"Okay, Just wanted to ask."
That was it??
No Elaboration, no probing question. Like...what?

Finally this weekend as I was walking out of the movies.

"I need to talk to you ASAP about some stuff that just happened, and it concerns you. My phone is about to die, so call me here at 613-403-2022."
Nothing makes sense, so I call the number.
It's a bogus number to a joke line. The realization makes my heart slow down again and I texted her back:
"That was mean."
"I'm sorry, they just did it to me."
"You had me worried. You owe me a kiss."
"Yes it was, but it was funny. I'll give you a blowjob for it next time."

Later on:

"What are your thoughts, if any, about my wearing another man's ring while we are together?"
"Your wedding ring until the D?"****
"Yes, I feel very torn about many of my decisions."
"I'm okay with it. I can pretend I'm the 'Other man'. Am I among those that you're torn about?"
"I know, I'm such a mixture of contradictions."
"You ARE going through a rather turbulant moment in your life, it's to be expected."
"But not with you. I love spending time with you. Its the idea that I've not waited til legally and under god that we are through. He does not care and I know I shouldn't. It's fun to be with you, and thn you add on the pleasure that is addictive. Your body pleases me."
"Look, Whatever makes you happy will make me happy, there is no pressure on you."

She ends the Texting suddenly. One of the kids probably needed attention.
Never heard the point of the convo.
ARGH!

*She doesn't know about the hobby or the blog. She MIGHT eventually learn about the hobby, but never about the blog.

**What is it with women and texting? I swear!
*** I have a kid in college!
****The divorce is final in November...more or less.

Sushi and Eating out

2009-09-12T03:37:00.000-05:00

Rushing to my where we were supposed to meet for a meal, as I entered the lot for her chosen Mexican restaurant I saw that the place was packed. As I got closer, the line seemed to snake out the door.which I figured to be an hour long at least.
Oh, hell no!
Spotting her grabbing a parking spot, I suggested finding another establishment nearby. As we pulled into a sushi place just a bit further down.
Settling into our table, we finally got deeper into our kid(s), jobs, Ex's, etc... and we got pretty deep into it.
I think it was one of our best conversations yet with much more substance. Our meal was inhaled and we were both hungry* and continued to the Hibachi side and split a meal.
After finish THAT meal, I offered to take her bowling across the street, but then she sprang a surprise: She had to go back home by 10:15 for her kids.**
Of course, I was rather disappointed, but not really since I wanted to us to behave on a date for once.
Really!
Looking at the time, we had an hour to kill, but didn't really want the date to end.
"How about some smooching for a bit?"
Her left eyebrow shot up.
"Just smooching!"
"Okay."
We continued our semi-serious conversation on what we wanted out of a potential relationship and we both seemed to agree quite a bit with each other on a variety of subjects.
Jumping into the backseat, I drove us to a more secluded part of the parking lot, adjusted the seats and we snuggled together.
We were good.
We kissed and smooched quite a bit, but I needed to make an adjustment.
She planted her arm to support herself VERY close to my erection and she kept hitting it as we moved around a bit.
"Oh, I'm sorry, am I hurting it?"
"Uh...no, I'm fine."
She bumped it again, causing me to mutter an slight obscenity.
"Did it hurt then?"
"Yah!"
"Let me kiss it and make it feel better," and it was down her throat a heartbeat later.
"I thought we were going to be good?"
"You be good, I'll be better."
After a couple of more minutes, she said something that totally threw me off:
"You know, If you want, you can take a picture of me doing this to you, as long as my face isn't shown."
"What?" I couldn't believe what I just heard.
She repeated herself and related how she loved being photographed, as long as her face isn't in the frame.***
The rest was basically a replay of our last two dates, so I won't bore you with the details again.

Once again, it was another good date and it seems quite promising!

*You know, you don't get much for your money in sushi, but damn it's good! Note to self: Brazilian Steakhouse next...an orgy O' Meat!
**Drama with the Ex. Too extensive to type about but I agreed that it had to be done.
***Put them on here? Umm.....maybe, I'll think about it.

Rainy days blues....not so much.

2009-09-11T18:34:00.001-05:00

The weather here sucks, and I decided work could wait tonight as I was just too antsy to do anything productive.
Several hours ago, I sent Football Fan a Text to see if she was up for a dinner/date thing and finally returned a msg a bit ago.

We were on. Since I was going to her part of town, I suggested a good mexican place and maybe a movie. I asked her if she wanted to hit a bar afterwards;
"You know I don't have to drink to put out."
Those were words I wasn't expecting, but I did a little jumping for joy inside my head.
There's plenty of room for that.
Really.
"Two hours?"
"You're on."
I dash off to the shower, shave and just waiting for some "emergency laundry" to be done.

See ya!

The Second date: The Test of Celibacy

2009-09-07T04:39:00.000-05:00

After talking (and considerable Texting), we decided that we need to keep sex off the table for awhile. Having decided there was a bit of chemistry on our last date, it turned into an all make-out session in my car.*
Determining that we needed to see if we have more in common than sex, there was a decision to make a conscientious effort to keep our hands off each other, enjoy a movie, talk a bit, and then be our way.

That was the goal.
I mean that.

We went to a theater to watch "The Hangover"**, but spent some time to just chit-chat about stuff in our lives and try to find an additional connection.
She loved the movie, I enjoyed watching it again, and we were on our way to walk over to her car. We were side by side looking out over the parking lot as we just leaned against the car talking about things in general.
For some reason, she mentioned that this time, she wore shorts that were a LITTLE tighter than last time. These were a newer purchase since she has been steadily been losing weight.
I noticed she had "pretty panties" when she showed how much she had lost since she purchased them.
My comment was, along the lines of, "You got the pretty panty things going on, eh? Well, you already know I go commando."
There was a pause.
I quickly tried to change the subject by saying the movies seemed pretty busy tonight.
She didn't let it go.
"You don't wear anything? I didn't notice that last time" she said in that innocent voice.
"Well, maybe on our next date I'll show you.
She continued onto the driver's side of the car and was ready to open the door to kiss her goodbye.

She opened the rear driver's side door and climbed in before I could fathom what she was up to.
"Hop in and remind me."
Oh shit!
I quickly turned around and pondered the situation.
No.
I can't go in.
The parking lot was PACKED with cars and people going in and out of the theater.
We were parked under a LIGHT!
No.
She looked at me and smiled.
Taking in a deep breath, and mutter a few prayers.
Really. I did.
Turning back towards her, I was greeted with a wicked smile and her hand on mine beckoning me in.
Any resolve that I was building crumbled in an instant.****
Okay.
Smooching.
Just smooching.
Not even settled into my seat she was sitting up on her side of the car and her hand reached to my cock.
Aw fuck.
She moved my shorts to the side, grabbed my cock, and was instantly in her mouth in seconds.
Never had a chance to make even a feeble attempt at a protest.
Her enthusiasm for a blowjob was amazing, but my hands were craving access from the back.
The tighter shorts that she was so excited about worked against me.
Damn them!
After I reached blow her, I was able to tickle her clit, within seconds, I felt her mouth quicken in pace and was greeted by a warm liquid as she had her first orgasm, one of three that came in rapid succession.
"I want to lick you dry, baby", I said.
Without hesitation, she sat up, unbuttoned and removed her pants. She was leaning up against her side within a minute.
Kneeling down, I was licking and sucking her clit, when I felt her tense up and she squeezed out liquid out of her.
Quickly clamping my mouth to cover her entire pussy, I sucked down all that she gave me. Barely a chance to gulp down the first rush, when she started to flood mouth again that accompanied a muffled scream.
I managed to contain it in my mouth, when she came AGAIN.***** This time the scream was unmistakable and cause no small amount of panic after I sucked it down.
Quickly looking around, there was no one around us.
The tinting and fogged up windows helped us quite a bit.
After I reassured her that things were okay, I turned up the heat a bit.
Kissing her with her juices on my face, she seemed to get even more turned on with what I had in mind next; inserting two fingers in her pussy to rub on her G-spot and two fingers in her ass was something that she REALLY seemed to enjoy.
The flow that went into my mouth was a testament on how much she enjoyed having a little DP action and I kept this up for at least a good five minutes or so until she begged for me to stop.
It was then that she pushed me back to go back to giving me that delicious blowjob when she stopped a few minutes later.
"Did you bring condoms?" she quickly asked.
"No. I purposely didn't bring any.No sex, remember?"
"Shit, but to hell with it."
She immediately climbed on...but I held a firm stance.
"Are you sure."
"Shut up and let me straddle you."
Hey! I DID try!
With that, I felt myself entering her, but I didn't have to do much. Once again, I felt her muscles clamp down on my shaft and a river of her juices flowing down****** and pooling under me and she was off me within a minute.
We fooled around for a few more minutes when it was decided she needed to leave to get back to her kids.
Peeking out, I made my getaway, gave her a long kiss goodbye and casually walked to my car only two rows away.*******

*You know, after a certain age, one expect that car sex is behind you. It's still fun, but I'm just sayin'.
** Her first time, my second, but I loved the movie.
*** a lovely Velvet-y shamrock green and about an inch of room.
**** Shut up, Starfish.
***** She later told me, that it was the combination of the suction, moaning, and the fact that I was REALLY enjoying it that caused this series of orgasms...all within 2 or 3 minutes.
****** When I left, my khaki shorts totally soaked up front...and back. Thank god it was late.
******* I asked how many orgasms she had, but as close as she could figure, she had about 12 at least. Nice. I wish we men could do that!

Enter: Football Fan

2009-09-02T12:24:00.001-05:00

For the fun of it, I put out an ad for a "Kinky Girlfriend" for LTR with "intentions".
Didn't expect any responses.
None. At all.

Within 5 hours, I got a response.
After a flurry of responses and a brief exchange of history, she was ready to meet.
Being that this happened within only 8 hours and all falling together within a short amount of time, it threw me off totally.
Having to work, I had to beg off meeting or even talking on the phone until monday, but we kept in touch throughout the weekend with emails.

My Sunday suddenly became open and at three-ish, we agreed to meet at a chain restaurant.
Having arrived there a bit ahead of her, I went ahead and ordered (I was starving) and waited.
15 minutes later, my phone buzzed with a Text "Just pulling up."
Instantly, I started scouting the parking lot and I spotted two vehicles that arrived, but only one had a single female in it.
She seemed to be of "Average" height and weight wearing A Texan's Jersey. Upon entering the door, I waved at her and her smile beamed at me as she walked over and immediately ordered something.
Cutting to the chase after a few minutes, I wanted to know about her marriage, and in short, she was saying how her divorce was about to be over, and quite frankly, was interested in dating "several people" so she wouldn't fall into the trap of "Marrying on the rebound."
Perfectly understandable.

The chat eventually shifted over the topic of the kinks I listed. Reason being is that I wanted to make sure that the person I was to be with had the same appetite and kinks that I do. I was determined not to make that same mistake again. As I went down my list, she didn't seem to flinch.
Not a single bit
She went on to say that she was a bit of a swinger as well and went on to elaborate on some other things that she would and wouldn't do.
The conversation shifted over a variety of topics and it was soon apparent that the waitress wanted her table back for some new customers.
I asked her if she wanted me to walk her to her car and have a brief smooching session.
Just smooching.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
"You know, it would be rather unseemly to be smooching in public." she said.
"Well, it was only going to be a quick smooch." I said defensively.
"Might be able to handle that, but lets do it privately."
Somehow we wound up in the backseat in my car.
It went from a casual smooching session to an outright make-out session.
My growing erection forced me to adjust myself. I thought I had done it discretely until I heard her ask if she could feel it.
Who am I to deny her that?
We continued to kiss as I finally had to "set it free" because it was uncomfortable and immediately started to stroke it; after a minute or two, she took one look at it and proceeded to to give me a sweet blowjob.*
After a few more minutes, we came to the realization that perhaps sitting in an open parking lot, near a chain restaurant with the sun blazing wouldn't be a good idea.
Rather quickly, I get back into the front seat and we drive to a slightly more "isolated" spot behind a nearby construction trailer...facing the frontage road to the freeway.
Getting into the backseat, we pick up where we left off with the blowjob.
her kneeling on my seat to give me the blowjob, I reach over and stroke her pussy over her shorts for a few minutes. Eventually, I reach under her shorts and reached for, and then gently fingered her clit
She changed her pace to a more sensual technique instead of the frantic pace she had initially. Bring her face up, cradled her and continued to smooch for a bit longer while I caressed her. She moved my hand to her crotch and started to grind against it, that just turned me on even more, we kissed more passionately as I unbuttoned her shorts. They were kicked off within seconds as she put them on the floor.
She apologized about not having "pretty" underwear. Seems like I wasn't the only one not anticipating the backseat smooching session going as far as it did.
But we were far from ending it.
As we continued kissing, I gently rubbed her clit, while I was slowly increasing pressure on it. She was getting so wet my fingers were just sliding up and down the surfaces of her pussy and ass. As my fingers felt her tight hole, I tentatively dipped my finger in and was greeted by a loud moan and harder kissing.
Finally pulling away from her I said, I wanted to eat her ass.
Without hesitation, she got up and maneuvered into kneeling away from me and spread her cheeks.
Not being totally brain dead, I went up behind her and proceeded to lick and tongue fuck her ass and proceeded to keep rubbing and fingering her pussy.
I noticed her starting to shake a bit more and that is when it became apparent her pussy was REALLY getting wet.
Sopping wet.
Then gushing.
Then squirting.
I was in awe, I wanted to lick it up, but I wasn't at the right angle to do so.** I did, however, try to get as much as I could in my hand and sucked it up from there. She apparently was able to see what I was doing and said that it was a major turn on.
Having her turn over so I can eat her out, she wanted me to kiss her so she could taste her juices on my face, as I bent down to kiss her, with my also being bottomless, we got dangerously close to actual sex*** and temptation was very close. It took quite a bit of effort, but I kept the kissing brief and played it off that I just wanted to lick more of her juices.
As I went back down, her pussy was totally wet and I was fingering her as I concentrated on her clit. As I sensed my fingers being squeeze by her muscles, there was an increase of juices flowing out of her to the point that there was a little squirting, I automatically put my mouth to cover her as much of her wet pussy as possible and swallowed as much as of her liquid as possible.
Twice.
I. Loved. Every. Single. Drop.
We repositioned ourselves so she can finish her blowjob with a nice steady rhythm, but it seemed to gradually take on a bit more urgency for some reason.
My fingering her asshole and pussy at the same time, might have had something to do with it.
As her pace picked up, my fingers got deeper and got a bit more motion in them.
Several things at once happened that made me have an intense orgasm.
One: She was hitting the back of her throat with a bit of force.
Two: The muscles in her pussy and asshole were gripping my fingers and I was feeling her start to drip/gush again.
Three: There was a gentleman walking by my car. Even though I had dark tinted windows, the light from the sun was enough for him to give him a good view of what my fingers were doing. Oddly (to me), he walked off after we made contact and turned away with this...what I would describe as a matter of fact look.
The combination of these made me my orgasm quite powerful and held her head down on my cock as I came.****
She sat back on the passenger side and I snuggled up to her on her lap and we talked for a bit, fleshing out our histories and our intentions.
Looking up towards her, her fully covered breasts were teasingly close.
"Can I take a peek at them?"
"You already seen the pictures," she responded.*****
Earlier I had said that one of my kinks was breast "torture" and was a bit dubious about it, but she complied with my request and was greeted by a lovely nipple.
I immediately put it in my mouth and set it between my teeth while sucking it.
The response, as you would suspect, was immediate. The nipple hardened in my mouth and I was vigorously sucking and biting the rest of her breast for a few minutes.
She then lifted me up, pushed me back to a sitting position and started to straddle my lap after presenting her breasts to me once again.
The breathing intensified, I attacked her breasts more, and then I reached behind and shoved a finger up her ass.
She shifted her weight, looked at me in the eyes and said, "To hell with it."
With that she impaled herself on my cock and her eyes immediately rolled to the back of her head while she ground into me and had, from what I could tell, an instant, small but intense orgasm.

We sat back down and talked for a bit longer.
"You know, this 'Linner' lasted much longer than I thought it would." I finally said.
"Yeah, we're going to have to leave soon."
"We're going to have to leave VERY soon, though." as I casually looked at my dashboard.
"Oh, sick of my company already?" she said with a dangerous sound in her voice.
"Nah. I'm almost out of gas." and casually pointed to the indicator.
It has been almost 2 hours since we hopped in.
"I see what you mean."
"Let's get you back to your car," I said as our respective shorts went back on.
"I'm going to back back to my car." she said as I jumped up front.
"Really?"
"Yeh. Need to clear my head before I get into my car."
With that she jumped out and proceeded to walk at a moderate pace.
Putting the car in gear, I lower the window and keep up with her.
"Hey little girl. Wanna jump in?"
"Nah, I've been told not to get into cars with strangers."
"I got some really good candy."
"No thank you. I got some nice candy earlier from another bad man."
A car had just pulled up and I needed to move on as I was blocking the way in.
I blew her a kiss as I drove off.
As I got to a nearby gas station, my car sputtered to a stop before I had a chance to turn off the key.
Just in time.
reaching into my phone, I sent her a text msg:
"I could have stayed longer."

We shall see what our next date is like.

*She said that once she saw the pre-cum on the tip, she knew she wanted it in her mouth.
**No. My first thought of detailing my car didn't come to mind until MUCH later.
*** Again. We weren't prepared for this eventuality.
****She said a bit later she didn't taste it, suggesting that my cock was actually a little further down her throat. That was hot.
*****She showed me a picture on her cell phone earlier that she was going to send to me.

Neglecting friends and going on a bender

2009-08-31T14:23:00.000-05:00

I've been under quite a bit of stress over the past few months and have been extremely busy to boot.
My dating and other activities had to be severely curtailed, to the point of even neglecting to seeing some of my friends and partaking in my leisurely activities that I enjoyed.

That ends tonight.
I'm joining IF and going on a bit of a bender. I think it's quite deserved. Also, I went on a meeting yesterday that I hope to finish the post sometime this week.

Gonna hit Midtown pretty hard tonight. Not going to be a rowdy crowd, but enough to allow me to relax for the first time in awhile. Besides, I owe IF a few drinks.

Dating in the Dark Week 6

2009-08-24T21:31:00.000-05:00

Jose, middle school music teacher who admits he has "Zero Game."
Jeff, Bartender and normally asks out "Hot Women."
Deanne, Freelance TV reporter
Renee, Jewelry Designer
Gina, Yoga Teacher

The FBI profiler

Gina seemed like she was brutally honest
Renee, he found her to be guarded and a girl next door.
Deanne is "Not a discloser" and will probably not open up completely.

Gina and Matt met up for their first date and they picked each other. and there seemed to be a connection.

Renee and Jose:
He commented that his biggest fear is the rejection from women.
Her wanting to stand up with him and made an immediate comment about his spikey hair, and seemed to be measuring his height, but instead made a comment about his hair. At first glance (stare in the dark?) there didn't seem to be much of a connection.

Jeff invited Deanne, but there was no suggestion that a click was there aside from allowing him to touch her face, which she admits was a big step forward.

Gina and Jose's second date, they seemed like they were quite "comfortable" right now and he took a chance and initiated a kissed. Gina was very receptive and gave him high remarks about it.

Using the compatibility scores, this is how they matched up:
Renee and Jose with 70%
Gina an Matt with 62%
Deanne and Jeff with 63%

Jeff and Deanne's date seemed to reaffirm their connection. The only reservation she has is how he seems to prefer to hot women and makes himself to out to be a stud and fears she is not going to be good looking enough for him.

Jose and Renee' date and he brought up how he felt that she was checking out his height. She responded that she usually dates taller men, but that it wasn't a deal breaker.
Really? If it 's not a deal breaker, why check it out IN THE DARK??
She then puts out there that she likes guys to take chances, but refuses to give ground on a simple kiss. He comments on this very fact and is fairly put off by it.

Gina and Matt's date he proclaims that he seems seems more chemistry to her than the other women, but was put off by Jose being so excited to be with her. But that the "gloves are off" when it turned out he also kissed Renee. Gina seemed quite game, considering she found out about the kiss as well. She seemed quite surprised to realize that she may have more of a connection with Matt than Jose.

While the ladies were talking about their various dates, Deanne realizes that if she doesn't let her guard down, she's probably not going to meet anyone.

Final Date:
Jeff and Deanne both seemed to get along very well and Jeff seems genuinely excited over her. He's nervous about how he is going to react to the reveal?

Matt and Gina's date seemed to go well, but he confided in her that he may not be as appealing as he seems to be during the reveal. She's a bit nervous about the lack of confidence he's displaying about the reveal and seems to be putting her off by that.

Jose and Renee's date, she goes in saying that she is bound and determined to let down her guard. She realizes this is a problem and is hoping to get over it.
He seems to recognoize that this is a big step for her and he starts to reveal something about himself as well by displaying the Dogtags from the military. He says that by joining the Military, he had a comittment that he entered into completely and wished to reinforce the fact that he will enter a relationship the same way.

okay ladies, everyone say, "AWWWWW!"

he seems like SUCH a great guy. She's an idiot if she lets him get away.

Reveal:

Jose' and Renee: With her reveal, he smiles and mouths "Wow!". During his reveal, she smiles and apparently is pleased. He comments later that she is "Very Very pretty!" (I agree!). She comments that he's "really, really cute."(He is!) But doesn't know if she is able to be with him.

Jeff and Deanne: When she is revealed, he doesn't have much of a reaction. When he is revealed, she smiles and nods her head. Later she tells the girls that he's really hot. (Really?) He tells the guys that "He's on the fence" and that he wasn't knocked over by her, but is happy.

Matt and Gina: when she is revealed, he simply smiles. When he is revealed, her eyebrows are raised and she shakes her heads. After wards claims that he looks like he's 40 with the beard and doesn't see herself with him.

The Balcony:

Matt is quite happy with Gina and wants to date. She is quite on the fence on the whole matter. She is fond of him, his appearance put her off. Gina decided that he isn't the match for her. She feels like she's being a "superficial bitch". Dude. Shave the beard!

Jose wishes to continue with Renee'. She realizes that he is a great guy, but isn't sure which way the relationship is going to go. She also walks out the front door because she didn't feel a "romantic" connection. I think she was the biggest fool. He's a GREAT guy! Damn, woman!

Jeff and Deanne. He says that she didn't light his fire, physically, but is an amazing woman overall. He comes out on the Balcony and they wished to see how they want to go further. He acknowledges that she's a great person and he needs to let go of his previous hangups. Personally, I don't see this happening and don't give them long.

This is the final week, so that's the end of THIS drivel from me.
Considering how it went over the entire run, only 7 of the 15 couples walked off together, it didn't seem to promising for dating overall.

Prospects:

2009-08-24T03:10:00.000-05:00

As I have mentioned before, I had only one response to my initial post and it seemed quite interesting considering I had put it in the in the "Other Romance", I was fairly surprise with that.

Once I re posted over to for Males seeking females, the response was only slightly better.
It's my guess that women overall are probably thinking they are more shallow then they thought.
This is (basically) the post I put up:

You're not perfect and neither am I.
I'm one that looks past the drama and sees who you are. Be the same.
It's not the baggage that you have, but in what manner you carry it.

Single Imperfect male seeking SIF 35-45 (more or less) for LTR

Must not be too far left or right, Politically.
Must be open to conversation of all types ranging from Pop culture to discussions of Philosophy.
Must enjoy/tolerate baseball. (go to quite a few games...)
MUST be up on current events.
MUST be quick witted
MUST have a sense or humor. (I enjoy Robot Chicken and south park, but I also love Big Bang Theory)
MUST have the ability to call me out appropriate.
MUST be open to new ideas, opinions, and counterpoints. (I love being intellectually challenging, and you should be too)
PREFER someone that has more kinks than a cheap gold chain. (if you gotta ask, feel free to ask for a clarification).
No kinks judged, keep them to yourself until we get along. Or share. I'm flexible.

No pics requested or given initially.
If you need pics or feel the need to share a pic, then perhaps I'm not for you.
Think of it as "Dating In The Dark" but with typing.

I'm okay with:
Kids. (you with kids, I have one that's grown)
Workaholics. I'm one as well.
Non traditional jobs.
Pets. (Wary of dogs, but I get over that quick. As long as he doesn't look at me as a snack food. I'm okay with it.)
Crazy Ex's. We all have them. This is Texas, so no jury would convict me. 'Nuff said. I don't have to deal with mine anymore. (not murder, kid grew up)

After re-posting on the Males for Females section, I gotten a LITTLE more of a response. I got 5.
Total.

The first responder was from a 22 yr old. We continued talking for a bit until I decided to stop wasting both of times.
The next responder is one I'll call "Blossom". She's a woman of my age who responded for no real reason she could think of. She is married but is, as far as she can tell me, planning to divorce her husband. When she mentioned FWB, I went a bit nuts and informed her about my OTHER blog.
Don't ask me why. I still don't know why I did it.
She read it and was hooked.
The rest are barely worth mentioning. Seems after only a few frustrated attempts to get me to send a picture without revealing anything about themselves tried their patience and we both mutually gave up or was too far away to make a relationship even remotely realistic.

Going to give it another try in a few days...perhaps it was the timing of my posting. Haven't quite decided, but I was extremely disappointed that the ad didn't get any more responses.

Then again, the woman are probably thinking they're too perfect for my ad.

The Evil That Men Do

2009-08-23T22:30:00.001-05:00

On a serious note, I'd like to comment on the LA Fitness shooting that occurred fairly recently*. While the act is despicable, there is a certain amount of sorrow behind the act. I waited this long to post in case there were further developments.

Yes, we can mock his inability to get into a relationship or have sex for an extended amount of time, the frustration that this man had is fairly common in both sexes.

This can be very contradictory coming from me, but this blog shows how dating can be a frustrating, humiliating, and tiring experience. It involves exposing yourself and your vulnerabilities as well as HOPING that the object of your desire weighs the pro's and cons and finds you "acceptable" to date.

It also requires a large amount of people skills including empathy, patience, and proper social skills. It involves of two people finding some common ground on a variety of levels.
While you may think it's rather cool to be a railroad fan and take vacations for that hobby***, your potential mate might think you're insane stop dating you while she goes to her "Sex and the City" self-help books."

Those that get frustrated in their inability to get dates/relationships have a real high probability of getting into a state of depression, or have an issue that might prevent them from having a real relationship.

From my experience and anecdotal information from friends, these comes from people with OCD,** low self esteem, egotistical, lack of compassion/empathy.
For those that have date after date that has ended in failure, I'm sure that it affects people in a way that they don't realize. A certain amount of depression will set in. A sense of hopelessness, sadness, apathy, and maybe even sense that some sort of revenge is in order as they blame others for their lack of success in dating.

Basically, what I'm getting down to is that if this sounds like you, then perhaps you need to find help, either from friends or a professional. While it is TOTALLY fun to read these blogs, I encourage you to find a way for you to be able to join us with the fun (and frustrations) of dating/relationships.

*I'm not going to mention the gunman's name, because as far as I'm concerned, I refuse to give him any more notoriety than he deserves. If you don't know what I'm talking about, here is a LINK.
** I have a slight case of OCD, and I have dated people with OCD, but sometimes the type or severity might be too much for some people to handle.
*** To be clear. I'm NOT a railroad fanatic. Just thought I'd use this "geek" without resorting to the typical "Trekkers/Trekkies", Computer nerds (see previous), and Motorheads.

No Dating in The dark....

2009-08-18T14:30:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I was super busy yesterday and didn't come in until late.
Even though I watched the episode (poor leo and Malik!), I don't think I can do a proper post about it.

Next week I will MAKE time! It looks pretty damned good!

Additionally, I had to take my AD from CL from one section to another because I got exactly ONE response.

ONE!

Go fig!

Posts and Dreams

2009-08-13T01:23:00.000-05:00

Well, I have just put up a new post on CL for someone. I thought it was rather creative, and after a few weeks, I'll put up what I had posted.
Now that my life is starting to settle into a fairly normal routine, I need to do things for myself for awhile. So dating is fairly high up there, but there is also raising tuition money for the lovely little parasite of a daughter.*

With all the craziness that I've been dealing with, I've had a dream that had several weeks ago that has been bugging the hell out of me.

Having been under quite a bit of stress and lack of sleep, I finally collapsed for a few hours.

The scene is the wonderfully chaotic household that is IF and IFW's home.
After playing some Wii, I find myself in the dining room just shooting the breeze with the IFW when she suddenly puts on the moves.
I resist. You know, because it's my friend's WIFE.** Eventually I cave in (hey! if you met her before, she doesn't take no for an answer!) and we started to have some very frantic screwing with IF only a few feet away in the next room.
Next thing I hear is a baby crying, he gets up to change the diaper and a few minutes comes back down to the couch and spots us, and sticks his head in the room.
Before I could even utter give anything resembling an apology, he simply uttered, "Cool" and went back to the living room to finish his game.

I woke up at a cold sweat immediately afterward.
You know how scary it is to wake up from a sex dream with someone you DON'T want to have sex with?
TERRIFYING!

*I say it with love. Believe me.
**Not that I've never been with another person's wife before...but that's a different story.

Dating in The Dark: Week 4

2009-08-11T09:52:00.000-05:00

I was a little drunk when I watched this episode and forgot to post it, so bear with me on the shortened, slightly edited version of this week's post.

In short, I believe all of the guys Jeff, Amit, and Cormac, seemed like genuinely nice guys. I don't get the issue, yet the girls all made fun of Amit's and Cormac's place for being so neat.

Kelly, Misty, and Shannon, all seemed like great girls as well, so I was surprised how the show went along.

Amit and Misty had awesome chemistry and seemed to get along quite well, but in the end, didn't wind up with him because she had issues with his height. The Reveal showed a visible reaction from her, but I didn't get that it was the height that she was cringing on.
I really don't get that.

Jeff and Shannon also had a wonderful connection, they seemed to go well together. It seems like his aggression in wanting the kiss totally blew his chances and was a deal breaker for her.

Carmac and Kelly were also a great match in the dark room, but when the final reveal, she almost cringed. I mean, I thought he was a rather good looking dude. Eventually they winded up together, but it seemed very hesitant about it. While I hope they make it, I am not holding any hopes for it.

Teaser might have been the right name!

2009-08-08T12:44:00.000-05:00

Having been ridiculously busy with some things having occurred over the past few months, I was finally able to sit, contact, and concentrate on Teaser for a bit.
Being only able to talk in short spurts with her since we last talked.
One of the things she was mentioning was how her husband was trying to get into her good graces.

A little background is in order:
The reasoning behind their separation was due to his cheating and basically kicked him out or she moved out. Still never got the entire story of it.

Turns out, he has come back begging to be back in her life. Initially, she had stated that she was quite reluctant to even give him more than a token response, but that had changed over the period of the week or two I haven't been able to have an extended conversation with her.
This week was supposed to be a week for us to get "more familiar" with each other while her kids were visiting her grandparents up north.
The day that they left, I contacted her, but she was fairly distant and didn't react to my overtures. Comes to find out, she had an eye infection, and considering what she does for a living, it was putting her far behind in her work. My being the workaholic that I am, I totally understood and gave her some distance so she can catch up to make her deadlines.

Towards the end of the week, we talked a bit more and admitted that she was looking forward to our extended rendezvous, but that she had been talking to her husband and talking about perhaps getting back together. She was rather torn up about the whole situation and was rather confused about the whole matter on what to do.
Not one to interfere with what makes her happy for my own selfish reasons (I'm not THAT much of a Douche'), I simply wished her luck.

"I'm truly sorry." she went on...
"Apologize for what?"
" I know you were looking forward to this week and I feel like I have been leading you on, but between the infection and my husband, I feel overwhelmed. I hope you're shopping around for another woman, because I am very confused as to what do do."
"Not a big deal, you have some serious matters you need to settle."
Then a little surprise.
"You know, we could have a threesome", she added.
I just stared at my phone for a few moments before responding. I had totally forgot they we swingers.
The next few moments were a bit of a blur and can't quite remember what was said, but it had turned decidedly sexual in nature.
"You know, instead of dealing with him, I'd rather be getting some," She confided.
"That can be arranged if you want." and then I went on how she could simply allow me to come to her house and give her a nice waking up.

Yes. I know, been there and done that before, but DAMN, it's fun!

She didn't promise anything, but said she'd think about it.

Keeping my phone handy throughout the night, but I have learned not to anticipate much.
As my night drew to a close, I never received the text.
Pretty much what I expected.

A night at the Opera; The (Un)magical Flute

2009-08-06T07:52:00.000-05:00

Tonight's date and I went to a showing of Mozart's "The Magic Flute" that was (re)broadcast from the NYMet from the 2006 performance.
The Date that I went to was surprised that I wanted to go to this, but was something new for her. While she has attended several plays, she's never been to attended an opera. I, on the other hand, try to attend these as often as I can, since these are more agreeable to my schedule than attending an actual performance at the Hobby Center or The Wortham.*
My date arrived at a nearby food establishment and had just burgers and fries and a couple of beers.
The topics ranged about our work, her work, her family, etc.
No spark.
None.
Looking at my watch, the clock ticked way too slow for my taste.
Meandering over to the theater, we take our spots in a quickly filling theater and we talk a bit longer about Operas, Mozart, and Art in general.
She hints that she's thirsty.
"I'll take a coke."
She just looks at me.
"Okay. a LARGE coke."
"You're not going to go get it?"
So far this whole thing has been on my dime, you would figure she'd at least spring the 4 bucks (or whatever) for a drink. So much for a "casual" date.
I hand her my credit card, "Go have fun."
She leaves, slightly disappointed, while I open up my phone, and drool over Library Vixen's latest entry, and check up on email.
Arriving a few minutes later, she hands me my coke and, to my relief, the opera starts.
She tries to ask me something, unrelated to the opera and I "Shhh" her.

A short time later, it was over, she looked at me and said, "I don't get it."
The production wasn't the best, so for a person not familiar with it, I could understand her confusion. She was fond of Papageno, didn't think Pamina was attractive, but Tamino had an excellent voice. She also seemed quite impressed with the wardrobe (which I agreed were awesome).
Begging off that I was tired, I offered to walk her to her car, give her a small kiss and walk away.

Yep. No magic there at all.
I immediately deleted, and did a casual chat with Starfish. It was a short convo since I had the sudden urge to simply sleep early.
Time for CL again.

*Yes, I really AM someone with varied interests.

Dating in the Dark: Week 3

2009-08-04T02:49:00.000-05:00

Initial impressions:

Chris: He seems to have a bit grown up due to his Cancer experience and seems to be genuinly looking for someone for him.

Philip: is a former Military guy that wants to find someone with "Depth", he's a hot guy and I can respect him saying that. Already he's my favorite.

Billy Ray: He seems to come from a family that has a tendency to be Serial Marry-ers (if that isn't a word, it is now), and is determined not to walk down that path. He's the oldest of the 3 men and seems to be the most patient in finding someone. But the reason of his being single this far along in his life could be that he could also just be whoring around.

My money is hoping for Philip, but Chris seems like a nice guy as well. Living through cancer will usually sober a guy up from what I've seen.

Sasha: "..Because I'm very superficial and I usually date boys that are hot." was the sentence that caught my attention. She claims that DITD is going to be difficult for her because she seems to only like "hot guys". Wow. I can only imagine what kind of issues she has had to deal with in the past to get to this point.

Megan: who comes from a conservative background and seems to date the "rough around the edges" guy. Which is interesting. That basically falls under the norm of people that are raised with such a background....from my experience.

Jennifer: A military girl who seems to be quite Type A. The men she has met in the past seem to have a problem with being in control. Having dated military chicks in the past, I can't see what the problem guys have with her. Allowing to have a LITTLE control over you isn't a big deal. If your ego can't handle it, blame it on yourself, not on her.   Unless she insists on keeping you in a dog pen..but that's a different type of show.

Initially, I believe Jennifer is the least PHYSICALLY attractive, but Sascha is the one that is lovely, but unattractive in personality.

Initial meeting:

Jennifer and Philip seem to find common ground because they were both in the military, which he finds sexy. It seems that Jennifer seems to be smitten with Chris and doesn't even seem to mention Philip when she announces her "Front Runners" of Chris and Billy Ray.

Billy Ray seems to have his first two has Megan and Sasha, with Jennifer rounding up the rear. His reasoning for Jennifer being last is because he isn't active in Physical training, which seems to be Jennifer's preference in guys.

The first initial dates:

Billy Ray and Megan picked each other: He confided in her that his father had passed and was in and out of the system. Her facial expressions seemed to change (to me) as soon as that was mentioned.   Megan stated that he wasn't probably as close to his family as she was to hers, and that didn't seem appeal to her very much.   I guess she believes a close knit family makes for a stable relationship?   I can kinda' see that.

When he met Sasha, and said she intrigued him. He said that he was allergic to cats, and since she was a major animal person, that almost seemed like a deal breaker to her.
During the topic of work, he admitted that he can be quite lazy; on the other hand, she said she was obsessively working up to 16 hours a day.   It seems that he simply can't picture her knowing how to relax.

DUDE! Are you kidding me?

Sasha wasn't feeling it either, and told one of the girls that.

Jennifer and Chris met up for a date and the first thing that she asks is for him to see if he can do a pushup with her on his back. Wow. Being that he's a Personal trainer, that was easy.

Philip and Jennifer met in the dark room and immediately started talking about their military careers.
He seems to be impressed with her with, what seems like, a "Take charge" person in her position in the military.

She seems to be fond of him and is interested in going on another date with him.

Sasha invites Chris for a date, he immediately starts talking about his past which includes the passing of his father from Brain cancer and his own battle with Cancer. This breaks her heart, but seems genuinely touched that he confided this in her, sharing with her something that is apparently very intimate in his life.

Sasha and Jennifer seem to already be competing for the same guy.

During the wallet inspection, they seem to be quick to ridicule Billy Ray for his lack of any apparent wealth (6 lotto tickets and no cash) in his wallet.

Wish Sasha's purse proved to be interesting to the guys with it's disorganization.

Philips wallet, they found 422 bucks and a some credit cards which seems to really impress them for some reason. It's at this point Jennifer makes the comment that since they apparently like to shop, they would also make a good match.

Jennifer's purse reveals a beat up purse and a chewed on lipstick. Which Philip dismisses as a woman that might have a Oral Fixation.

Chris' wallet: 70 bucks, a CPR card, and Sasha seems impressed with how "real" the wallet is.

Umm...Okay.

Megan's Purse his a fashionable purse and organized.

the matchups:

Sasha and Billy Ray; which She promptly states, "That's why being good on paper doesn't make for a good relationship." She immediately proclaims that she can't possibly see how they can be compatible. After their date, he comments that he was bored with it.

Jennifer and Philip: She says they are fairly compatible, but was still wondering if Chris was more for her.

Megan and Chris: Chris totally charmed her with some of his gentlemanly ways. (Take notes guys.)

Jennifer than Invited Chris into the room for a date and he totally charms her.
She later invites Philip into the room afterward and she admits that she also likes Chris, with Philip pretty much prompting her that if she thinks he likes Chris more, than perhaps she should simply go with him.

Billy Ray and Sasha tried to get to know Sasha better, but he felt no connection with her and admits that there is no woman in the house that there for him.

For the Final date, all girls picked Chris.
Philip also comes to the conclusion that he felt no real connection with the girls either and stepped up and gave him advice on how to get to where he wants to be with the right girl.

The girls all seem to have tension in the fact that they are all competing for the same guy. They're joking around, but you can tell the competition is there.

His approach was to kiss all the women and see how it works out. Interesting way of doing it. Confiding too Jennifer and Megan intimate moments about his pass seems to have won him over.
With the date with Sasha, he seems to be a bit put off with her sexual side of her.

At the end of the dates, he tells the guys that Jennifer is probably the most compatible to him.

When it came to the reveal, Billy Ray and Philip chose no one. They took themselves out.
This is amazing to me, to be honest.

All women, however, picked Chris.

When they are talking about their expectations of Chris in the Reveal room, Megan hopes that He is stylish slightly rugged.
She comments she is a bigger girl, but not someone he normally dates, but admits that he is still attracted to her. She doesn't really seem to be as enthusiastic to his apparence.
Which to me, is a shame, he's willing to overlook it, because they seem compatible, but she isn't.

Sasha's reveal shows an expression on her face that doesn't show that (to me) that she is pleased with what she sees. She comments that his suit looks like he borrowed from his Dad and spiked hair and looked so young. But once the lights were turned on, she wasn't attracted to him.
Once again, Chris comments that she's bigger than what he's normally used to dating and admits that he didn't find her being a redhead being very attractive to him.
Jennifer and Chris' reveal, she seemed pleased with his appearance and is "Gorgeous" but like the other ladies, she noted his youthful appearance.
He later comments that while she may be attractive, there is a "wild" look to her personality.

While this may make him seem a bit on the Douche'-y side (my word, feel free to use it.) he seems to come away with a more open mind than the other girls do.

before the Balcony, Sasha makes the comment that Chris isn't as attractive (!) as the other men she had dated, and is wondering if she can look past that and remember the good times they had in the dark.
Really, Sasha? REALLY?? You're no awesome looker yourself.
Sorry.

Jennifer comments that she is still quite attracted to him, but is wondering if his age would be a deal breaker because she would feel like she's dating a younger brother.

Megan on the other hand, LIKES him, but she doesn't think that HE would make her FRIENDS comfortable.
Oh come on!

Chris later comments that he is most attracted to Jennifer as far as physically and personality.

As he stands on the Balcony, he is hoping that Jennifer walks up.

Sasha walks out the front door and proclaims that looks really do matter to her and thinks that the rest of the world is the same way. Looks matter. Somehow, I'm not surprised with this. Good luck, lady!
It's ironic that He didn't find HER attractive. Beauty is always subjective.

Megan walks out the front door and decides that it is best that she not meet him, thereby giving him false hope of a relationship since she also had doubts that a relationship would be successful.
When he saw her walk out, he was actually quite glad and admitted that she wasn't his type.

She is shown to walk out the front door as well, but says that he is a little young for her.

You could tell that he was a bit heartbroken, but he says that he isn't going to take this too hard and keep moving on and realizes that there is another girl out there for him.

Looks like no one picked anyone.

It's a shame, but I would have thought Philip and Chris would have been better luck with the rest of the ladies.

Overall, I think the producers did a lousy job of picking someone for this week (Or they did it on purpose to prove a point), but it does seem to show that looks are quite important to people, whom I think who I think are less than spectacular as well.

The only person I can probably give a pass too is Jennifer, she seemed to have some legit reasons, she found him sexy and attractive, but the age thing (or youthful look) might bother women. At least, I would suspect it, unless they want to look like a cougar. :)

'Scuse me while I'm bummed out and reach for my Ice Cream and Erase and gladly erase this episode from my TiVo.

Hair Drama Trauma!

2009-07-31T13:34:00.002-05:00

I needed a haircut.
Having been the subject of ridicule from my friends and family (I have been REALLY busy!) about my appearance, but it was a lover that finally got me to do it.

Heading to the Northwest part of town, I casually walk in to the place and I'm greeted by good looking lady and I scan around for my barber....
As if sensing my confusion, she asks if I'm looking for someone.
"Yes, I'm looking for 'H'."
"She sold the place to me."
"What?"
"She got married and moved out of state."
I just looked at her with this even dumber look on my face than usual.
Then again, I had no clue she was even dating anyone!
"Care to wait? I'll be finished with her," Indicated the woman currently in her chair, "in an hour or so."
"This sucks!", I finally said.
"Pardon?"
"This sucks. Now I don't know where to get my hair cut! But thanks anyway.." and walk outside in a daze.
My barber? Gone?
This SUCKS!
I mean, really! I'm more loyal to my barbers than to my girlfriends.
How sad is that?
I've had maybe 4 barbers in my adult life.
One died (and was a lover). two retired, and now another moved to another state?
Immediately sending out a mass text to my friends I asked for a recommendation.
All of them said they could not.
Really? No one?
The pitifulness in my voice was conveyed when I talked to a lady friend.
She's stunned. She's known me for years and has never heard that "tone" in my voice.
I drive towards home and do a search on my phone for nearby places....
They all seem to be "Salons" as opposed to barber places.
Driving down the Washington Strip, I grab something to eat at a local drive thru taco place. (its much better than it sounds) Finding a nice shaded place to enjoy my comfort food, I sat there and ate two of them when I glanced down the road and spotted a place just off the main drag.
It's a BARBER!
With the distinctive pole! It's a GUY'S place!
No girly man "salon", but a MAN's place!
I barely finish my last taco when I put my car and drive the two blocks. Inspecting it from the outside, it had all the characteristics of a guy's place.
I pull into it's small lot and walk inside to find a couple of chairs and a couple of guys sitting around.
The place is not that well kept, with only a few nick knacks around.
Jumping into the chair, I explained my situation to the tall burly "dude" cutting my hair and gave me a heartfelt sympathy. He understood this was an "interview" haircut.
He asked me how I normally had it.
I responded that I don't remember!
All I had to do in the past was just jump into the chair!
Gently, he explained what he suspects what was done previously
It sounded right...but I told him to give it a shot anyway. If it's not a good haircut, I was just going to shave it off.
Yes. I'm that militant.
Turns out, it looks pretty good.

I'll just have to see my friends for a unbiased opinion.
That and they can laugh at me for acting like such a freakin' girl.

Now all I have to do is shave the beard. It's gotten on my nerves.....I might do it tonight. :)

EDIT: Included pics (thanks starfish!) and I still haven't shaven. I'm Rockin' the Taliban look!

Dating in The Dark Week 2

2009-07-27T22:15:00.000-05:00

I was a total girl tonight with this show. I got ice cream, curled up with Bitch-cat and watched.

OMG, Megan and Matt really got hot in the room. I dug how they were talking smack to each other, daring to see what would happen next. Kinda' makes me wonder how heavy it got in that room. The reveal was disappointed on his reaction, though. These two had a better click than I thought they would and I'm glad it worked out.

Chrystee and Jason, seemed to connect really well. Understanding his apprehension with her religious views if they don't share it can be a bit of a downer. Was it a deal breaker for him? Probably. One has to be able to see how that extends over to their "life." It's important to her, but obviously, too important for him to care about.

Lindsey and Doug: Was surprised that he made the comment on her complexion during the reveal, considering they seemed to have good chemistry. Even though they left the show together, I was a bit disappointed by that comment from him.

I thought all the women were attractive (in my opinion), but the one I gathered that would be the skeeziest of the six, was Jason. Unfortunately, that showed it's ugly head. But at least he didn't trash her looks,but her personality, which is something I can kinda' respect.

Cranial Ex-lax a mid year recap!

2009-07-26T20:51:00.001-05:00

You know, I with Sharon's parting, its kinda' hard not to take the departure and my lack of successful dating in stride at times.
I was bemoaning my problems with a couple of people when they just looked at me like I was insane. From what I have been *TOLD*, my I've been a rather prolific dater.
Really?
Prolific?
IS that something to strive for?
A couple of fellow blogger friends have commented that they wished they dated/Laid as much as I have.
What? Really?

Feel free to skip this portion and go to see the women in my past.
Let's do a mid-year recap:

I've dated EIGHT (8) women since I've started this blog.
Believe it or not there have been two or three others that were so insigificant that I erased them from my memory!

One is a workahalic mother of 7 (or is that 6?) kids who was freshly divorced and proclaimed herself too insane to date. Plus she didn't like my hobby.* Several drama filled months of that crap.

Next was a psychic reader/hippy chick (translation: would have been KINKY!) who had some financial and distance issues. Disaster was written all over it. Done.

Lumens, who we went on a date or two and then disappeared after she said she found a different job and boyfriend.

Then there was KS, a chick who initially answered a gangbang ad and then thought about dating as well. Oddly enough, she saw me nude on the first "date" at a party and haven't seen her since.**

Lauren, Lovely woman. I liked her, but I don't think there was any chemistry. It was somewhat a relief when she pulled the cord and jumped off.

Latina:*** was hoping for some sort of connection as far as heritage goes****, only to find out she has some really odd ticks and has some strange conspiracy theories.

Teaser: The first girl who googled my original email and found this blog and made me go into a total panic. We've met in, what I think, a bad case of timing. I have some drama and work issues that is taking quite a bit of my time, while she is innudated with work and having time issues as well. Not to mention she's thinking of heading out of state.

I mean, C'mon!
Yes, that's only a partial list of the women I've dated, but you get the point.
While I don't plan on giving up dating, you can see how it's a bit daunting.
Just hard to figure out what women are thinking at times when they put themselves out there. There have been a few expectations where they want every man they meet is a male hunk with blonde hair, blue eyes, that earns 6 figures.

How can a typical putz compete with such expectations?

*God knows what she would have said if she knew the entire extent of it.
**Maybe that had something to do with it?
***What's up with all the "L"s?
**** Remind me to write a rant about Latin/Mexican chicks on why I generally don't date them.

Dating in The Dark aftermarth of week 1.

2009-07-23T16:25:00.000-05:00

I know this is a bit late, but better than never...at least for me.

The format was very challenging to those inside, and I liked that they didn't pick "pretty people" or "Trolls" but, what I feel are, normal looking people.

What I thought was fascinating was the psychological torture they were putting themselves into, and the assignments that the show put them simply reinforced their, what I think, fears of being rejected.

I was quite disappointed with "Christina" in not showing up for her date. Not only was she the one that seemed to get more intimate than the other couples, but she seemed to make a big deal of how the guy (seth) meshed quite well with her.

With that exception, I was pleased that the other two seemed to get past their initial anxiety and resolved to try to date afterwards.

PERSONALLY, I think the biggest surprise for me was Melenie and Allister (The blonde and the Aussie, I believe). They were both charming and was the couple I was rooting for, particularly after they both confided qutie a bit to each other.

The next weekend should prove to be quite interesting from what the previews have revealed.

An experiment in dating...

2009-07-20T16:20:00.000-05:00

Anyone that has dated for any amount of time (everyone on the planet), you know that there is always a huge amount of pressure when it comes to dating.
You have to not only look for someone that appeals to you, but critizing yourself to make sure YOU appeal to THEM.

Tonight there is a show called "Dating in the dark" that seems to bring a topic on dating. In many ways, it's quite like online dating in a sense that you will not be able to see who you're talking to. However, the difference is that you can sense, feel, and hear your date, but you can't see them. From my understanding of the show, the whole "meeting" and getting to know of the person will take place completely in the dark. Several of the commercials have shown that a number of the "contestants" consider looks high on their priority list.

The interesting part of it is how they will react once they see who they eventually got to "know" in the dark room. Will they get to really like the personality they is presented in the dark room and then "dislike" what they see?

I'm not that much into looks, but rather be more into their personality. Now if you find a good looking guy/girl with a stunning personality, and from personal experience; a rarity.

I won't be home for the show, but I plan on TiVo'ing it a bit later and look forward to it.

Cranial Fecal Matter

2009-07-17T04:23:00.000-05:00

Blogging (of different genre's) has always been a way for some of us to document our lives, the world around us, to make a difference, or simply be our own cheap therapy session.

Being a Dating blogger (as well a Sex blogger), what we post on here, for the most part, is a snippet of our lives. A snapshot, if you will. Different snap shots at different times and places. Very rarely will anyone make the abstract jump as to HOW we get from here to there.
It's akin to taking a trip starting from one end of the nation to the other, tell you I'm there; but not mentioning the route I took, the foods that were eaten, or the oddities that are seen, witnessed, or done.
In quite a few ways, I feel like I'm cheating you (the eight readers that read this drivel) by not saying what happened in between the stories that I have posted.
While, I'm not proclaiming that my life, in any way, shape, or form is something that I would even consider fascinating, I am open to comments or questions to both of my blogs as to what happened in between posts. While it may not be fascinating to me, it might fill in an answer for you.

I got that out of the way:

Unless I wish to start an additional blog (under this or another pseudonym) in which I'd talk about other things that interest me. My drivel might start being even more....drivel-ish. Due to my life being in a bit of a hectic, my dating has come to an abrupt stop, but I am still doing the occasional CL for playmates/Girlfriends.
The things I've been considering writing about things that occur to me on a daily basis, or wish to open a dialogue about things. My reading list, is a bit of a clue on my interests, but my life isn't simply contained between my legs (although, to be honest, I would LOVE for someone to be constantly between them), but rather in my mind that is in a frenzy search of answers.

A wide variety of questions always seem to come into my head but with few people to talk about it with and explore. It's not that I don't' have a close group of friends or even friends with high intelligence, but more like topics that simply doesn't register as having any importance in their lives.

Questions of "Are you or I considered 'evil' to other people?", "If Hitler got accepted to Art school, what would the world be like?", "What is it like to be in Hawking's or Einstein's brain?", "How in the world did someone have the guts to TRY to eat a ginger root?", and "Do Assholes KNOW they're assholes?"

There is so much in my head, but I realize quite a number of you probably don't care of what goes on inside my head, but hey; It's my blog and if I get this caffeinated again, lord knows what you'd find.

FYI: This post took an hour and a half to write and deleted 90% of it. Heaven help y'all if I decide to post the echos in my head.

Teasing midnight snack

2009-07-09T03:36:00.003-05:00

We finally decided for a bit of a meeting.

Not really a date. In fact, I don't really know what to call it.
You comment and put in your .02 and we'll see..

There was a bit of a deliberation on when to get together to figure out our status with our dating. Particularly after she dropped the bomb on me a few days previously, so we agreed for a Wednesday night get together, with the potential of some naughtiness and smooching.

Oh yes. Smooching. I love it.
We met up in the back of a popular 24hr eatery at about midnight in the back, and we greeted each other for an embrace and then confessed that she needed to go inside for a bit.
After finding a booth, we merely got a couple of cokes, chit chatted a bit about our personal and professional dramas. Taking an obligatory sip of our insanely flat and overpriced cokes, I asked if she wanted to crawl into the backseat.
After taking a look at her car, I decided the tint on mine was a bit darker and we dived in.

While there was considerable smooching and naughtiness that ensued, we got to talking about our status.
*I* THINK we talked about dating but not being exclusive until she figured out what she wanted to do. She was rather open to being a guest or a party favor of one of my parties.

Yeah, it was fairly fun meeting and somewhat productive.

Excuse me now, I need to take a shower because I'm all sweaty.

Absence of Malice...

2009-07-08T17:51:00.000-05:00

I have been asked a number of times if I feel bitter towards the women that I have dated through Craig's list.

With little hesitation, I can honestly say, "No." Considering how many women I've been with over the years, is rather extraordinary, I would imagine. I don't have any sense of bitterness of any of the women that I have met over the entirety of my "dating career". If anything, I miss quite a few of them and I had wished it had worked out better and came out with more of them as friends with all of them instead of just a few.

All of the women that I have met recently were wonderful people; it's just some were a bit crazier than others.
Even when I speak of the mother of my child (spit), I wish her the best; but I would be lying if I didn't have some small amount of glee when I hear some form of comeuppance occur to her because of some idiocy has come back to hit her from some years past.

But I digress.

Every single one of the women I have dated, I wished the best. Period. I want them all to have glorious lives and to be happy.*
There is no comprehension of how some people have a tendency to simply have ugly breakups, but perhaps I was lucky.

Some of the nightmares I've heard that I never had to endure:

Financial(Stolen or embezzled from, Owed, assets not returned, bills not paid, arguments over money),
Mental (Abuse**, degraded**, forced to watch too many chick flicks or the Oxygen Network for hours at a time), or Physical Trauma (Physical and sexual abuse**, Shot, stabbed, anything you should appear on Springer on, etc).

I guess I should consider myself quite lucky, because if any of that occured, I would simply walk away and I would have some negative feelings for those.

* Except that one mentioned previously.
**Non Consenual, that is..

Updates with Teaser

2009-07-06T15:37:00.004-05:00

I have had quite a bit of personal drama and work which made it close to impossible to be able get another date with Teaser, but since then we have been talking more and talked about our potential.
Yesterday she dropped a bit of a bomb.
"I'm thinking about moving to St. Louis."
"Really?"
"Yes. My two oldest are gone, and it's just my little one (11y.o.) with me. I have nothing keeping me in Texas and my family is in St. Louis."

I was a bit taken aback by the whole situation.

This totally changes things between us. I can't "Date" someone LTR with someone who MIGHT move out of town. We were unable to finish the conversation, but later on we decided that we would meet at a 24hr joint about midnight.
We promised some smooching action, but I think she's rather open to different possibilities of our relationship, but this talk needs to air things out before we can go forward.

Hmm..Maybe I can scare her off?

2009-07-06T15:25:00.001-05:00

Well, Andi seems to be calling and Texting more often, which is driving me a bit crazy. We're making some headway and it appears that we are slowly mending fences.
The more I thought about it, the more of a bad idea this was, iitially, I thought I might have scared her off with my "Grocery list" and she hung up rather quickly after that. I took that to mean that I scared her off.

Little did I realize that a few days later, she would text me again.

"You really surprised me with that list."

"Really?"

"It was....fascinating...and perhaps enticing."

"What interested you?"*
"All of it."

"Really?"

"Yes."

For some reason, I never really talked about some of the wilder stuff that I do, but it seemed important now for some reason. Perhaps when I shared the list I'd scare her away and she wouldn't talk to me because I "was a pervert!"

As we talked more, I decided perhaps this would be an ideal way to end it by scaring her by mentioning something over the top!

"You know, I could have made all those things come true."

"Really?"

"OH yes, if we were together, I have no hesitation to spreading your cheeks and having other guys have their way with your ass or pussy while you suck on someone else's cock."

I could have sworn that I heard her gasp over the phone all the way from her city.

"That sounds like it would be fun. Yes, I'd like that."

???

This isn't working out like I had planned.

"Really?"

"Yes, I always wanted that, but all I've had was boring boyfriends."

"OK." It was the only thing I could think of saying without seeming TOO idiotic.

"I need to get some sleep, and you got me totally wet. Going to play for a bit, sorry I can't call, but I'm at my cousin's house."

"Okay. Gnite."

WTF?
Just when I thought I figured something out, people throw me for a loop.

* I'll put up a post/link of it on my other blog soon for those that are curious.

Let's Eat, Drink, and go to Mary's! The first Date

2009-06-28T02:44:00.000-05:00

A couple of days ago, I had an inspiration to go to the Houston Pride parade and figured that would be a neat first date. I made the suggestion to Teaser and she readily accepted since she's never gone into that neighborhood before (suburban mom) and thought it would be a neat adventure.

Since I knew traffic and parking was going to be a nightmare, I suggested we'd meet at a hotel and share a cab in. I got there a few minutes before she arrived and was greeted by an attractive friendly face. Since we had at least four hours before the parade, we sat and had a beer and had some idle talk for a bit before we decided it was time to head into town before traffic in the area would build up.
After being dropped off at a Greek restaurant, went inside for a quick meal and drink. After the meal, I leaned over for a tentative kiss and she was quite receptive to it. My confidence bolstered, we pondered as to what to do and decided she needed to see what the area had to offer. We stopped at Mary's to make arrangements to get on the roof and got a beer while we were at it.
Sitting down, we really talked about much, but it was a good convo. From what I can tell, she was eyeballing everything going on in the bar and after the beers arrived via a scantily clad bartender and predicted that she will see a cock inside of 10 minutes.
Almost on cue, someone dropped their pants and showed of his cock and she just looked at him with a wild-eyed look and we both had a good laugh about that.

Finishing our beers, we wound up hitting the a variety of clothing resell shops, and during our long walk*, she got an eyeful of the various people who had staked out a place along the route. It was crowded, wild, and if you're not careful, you can easily get lost; so I took the initiative and offered my hand to hold. She took it without hesitation and that simply gave me the clear that she was comfortable with me.
As we wandered through one store than another, I started to give her a bit of a smooch now and again, some more intense than others.

Eventually, we had back to Mary's before the crowd makes it impossible to move around and sit in the bar. A little after we got out drinks, I started to smooch her a bit and I had moved closer. She had felt that I was aroused and, I can't remember exactly who instigated it**, but her hand slowly went up my shorts (these as a matter of fact), and I couldn't help myself to adjust my position to allow her more access. As I felt her gently grip my cock, she slowly started making a stroking motion. As I looked at her face, the expression had changed, to what I believe, was simply the joy of holding a cock. In a room with at least 90 people with a lip syncing act right behind us. Her expression changed yet again when I suggested she rubbed the tip and felt the unmistakable texture of precum.
By this time, my cock was sticking out of my shorts, and I reached down, rubbed the tip and brought my finger up to her lips and coated her lips with my juices and let out a silent moan. If the bar wasn't full of people, I hardly doubt it would have been silent.
I repeated the gesture again and put rubbed some of it on her tongue. I was so turned on, I was afraid to ponder what would happen if I reached an orgasm.
Maybe come in my hand and feed it to her?
That possibility died a quiet death as she withdrew her hand and composed herself. The time to go upstairs quickly arrived and we took our positions to watch the parade.

The rest of the evening was fairly quiet as we enjoyed getting beads from below and simply enjoyed each other's company. We arrived back at the hotel, talked for a bit in lobby and asked her if she had a good time.
She responded in a positive sense, but hedged a bit on how this was basically her first shot at dating since the divorce and seemed to hedge whether or not she wanted to date.

I understood where her head was, but I question every move that I did.
Every single move I did, I waited for ANY signal that whatever I was doing was NOT welcome, but at every step, all I got were positive reactions. We texted each other briefly to make sure she got home okay, but I figured she just wanted to spend time of the kids (read: inquisition).

She went to bed with a short text and, once again, saying that she had a terrific time.
Now I just have to wait and see..the good news is, that she hasn't read the blog since she discovered it.

Yeah, we'll see how long THAT lasts.

*well, considering there wasn't any shade in the 100+ temperature, it WAS long.
** DUH! I probably did.

Why do they come back?

2009-06-25T04:51:00.001-05:00

For the past couple of weeks it just seems that old girlfriends come out of the woodwork, within 3 weeks, Andi, Stella, and Stormcloud have contacted me.

Andi has been chatting off and on with me for the past several weeks. Having decided that I was going to be a passive participant in this by simply giving basically one or two word responses to her various questions and the occasional pauses of what was going on in HER life. She had made more of a concerted effort to contact me, but I really didn't see a point in it.

We didn't discuss US, we didn't talk about good old times. We simply talked about how our separate lives.
I finally had to question her motives to calling me about nothing. Most of my friends who call me, we bitch about each other's lives, make plans for dinner, talk about kids, SOMETHING.
But not her.
"What is your point in calling me? I thought we finished this conversation a few months ago." I asked as I tried to keep my temper in check.
"Just want to...I miss you.." She started to say in a quiet voice.
"We're not dating, and I seriously doubt I'm on your dating radar again." I replied.
"Never say never."
Fine. Whatever.
I then discussed how hard it was going back into the dating pool and thought I'd mention how difficult it was to find someone with the same kinks.
She was curious.
I listed them. We called it "The Grocery List."
There was silence with only the occasional acknowledgment.

After I was done, I waited.

"Some of it seems quite fascinating. You know, I need to go to bed, got to get to the gym in the morning." was the only thing she could say.
"Okay, see you later, bye." as I closed the phone and threw it the phone at the couch in frustration.

Within 24hrs, Stella and Stormcloud Contacted me.

Late into the evening yesterday, I was on the couch semi-dozing, recovering from several days without little sleep when I my phone buzzed with a text msg.
Pushing the cat off, I reached for the phone on the floor, I saw that it wasn't anyone on my contact list.
"[daughter's name] is going to a baseball game with the in-laws. She's excited to be in town and hopes to see you."
The fog from my doze cleared instantly.
Fuck! It was Stella!
I ignore the msg. I was done with her. I refuse to get myself involved with her. So I ignore the text and go on with my evening.
This evening, I get another text; "She says that the astros aren't doing well. Can you meet her for drinks after the game?"
What? Is she out of her head?
It took some effort, but I ignored the text. I don't plan on answering it, but I'm stupid enough to keep it on my phone. If I had any brains, I'd delete it as soon as I finish this entry.

Finally, Stormcloud.
God bless her, but no. She calls me up at 4am yesterday. Instead of a friendly conversation, she starts in on about her financial problems, the problems with her daughter and in-law and such. I initially was about to offer her some cash (again), until she mentioned a boyfriend.
AWESOME! I'm (hopefully!) FREE!
After listening to about 20 minutes of conversation, as usual, my mood was dropped to the point where even the pope would consider suicide as a form of bliss and would waive the "sin" if I would do it.
On the 8th try, I finally was able to pry a polite way to hang up.

Geeze. I ask again, why don't they just leave me alone and just delete me?

Finally, I have Teaser:
We haven't had a chance to meet, nor have we had even an opportunity to talk on the phone because of our schedules.
Having chatted some more, she seemed more at ease with our potential to date than she had previously.
Since she had discovered my blogs, I tried to spin it as "Hey! you know more of me than most people would when they first meet someone!" and spelled out that she had the advantage.

The more we talked, the more she seemed to enjoy me and I seemed to enjoy her intellect as well and we both agreed that we have a nice mesh of kinks.
I might get more into that, but it made me think that perhaps a list of my kinks might be needed; a "grocery list" if you will.

Ohwell, I think it's time for a nap.

Caught! Enter The Teaser

2009-06-20T13:42:00.004-05:00

Having put up a ad on CL a couple of weeks ago, I waited for the responses to trickle in and it didn't take long.

After the intial group was fine, but it wasn't for me and eventually dropped the conversations.

One of my favorites was a woman whose responses were three or four words typed from her blackberry.

After I'd asked her what she was up to for the weekend, her response:

"Probably spend it with kiddos."

Okay.
Being the kind of guy who wants to engage in a conversation, I responded; "Oh? Cool? What are the ages? I'm thinking about heading to a movie and...blah..blah..blah"

Response was simply their ages and it sounded like fun. (!)
I went on and discussed general stuff and the response was always two or three words.
After about a day, I was wondering if she was trying to blow me off, "Are you a woman of few words, or is it just a pain to type on a blackberry?"

"Not short of words just while driving."
"You know, you could always just type when you have time and then hit send."

She laughed, but the pattern continued.
I finally got sick of it after a few more hours and blew her off.

Just because there is an email in your crackberry doesn't mean you have to send a short letter instantly! I mean, really, when dealing with someone you're pursuing a relationship with, we can handle a little delay between emails if there is a bit of substance to it.

Another of the candidates I have been emailing seemed to get along quite well. We seemed to have the same general interests and I was fairly optimistic.

During a lull in my day, I started reading an email from her and while the initial tone gave me caution, she had stumbled across something incriminating. While I suspected she MIGHT have come across the blog, I wasn't going to confirm or deny anything until I knew WHAT she found. She strongly hinted that perhaps it was better to just call the whole thing off.
I feigned innocence and asked what she found? I was fairly certain she didn't find the blog, but probably got me confused with some OTHER idiot.
The next letter contained two links two both of my blogs. While I was in a store at the time, it was all I could do to giving a visible reaction. In my mind, I ran around screaming like a little girl and wondering what to do.

Outside, I was the calm cool demeanor that I try to exude....but for a bit there, I thought I wet myself a little bit.

She went on to explain that her ex husband and her both into "The Lifestyle" and didn't think she could go down that road. After I explained that I was sincere that I am open to changing my ways, she was more than a bit skeptical.
Not that I blame her in the least, but I believe we can.

She continued reading portions of both of my blogs and seems to be coming around. I have no idea why, but she seems to. So this should be interesting.

HI HON!

THIS is marital bliss?

2009-06-20T12:43:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I got a weekend with IF and his wife to a "cook out", the invitation read like this on my phone:

"BBQ this Sunday. 4pm. Be there."

Fine. I'm all for that. They usually have a good spread and they know I'm good for a bit of mooching (single men are easily bribed/lured with free food, ladies. I'm just sayin').
When I finally get there, the table is literally groaning from the weight of all the food that was cooked and/or brought in. (I was supposed to bring a dish? Ooops!)
The cast of characters that showed up could basically be described like the cast of "Seinfeld" on a "Friend's" set with writers from "Will and Grace."
It's really a screwed up cast:
IF: Idiot friend. We attend baseball games and strip clubs together. That's it. He's so hetero it's not even funny, he goes out of the way to prove it. Yet he married a fag hag. Go fig.

IFW: The bullet I dodged. Like a combination of Don Rickles, Kathy Griffin, Chelsea Lately, and a Pissed off Grace (of Will and Grace fame). She told me credits her dropping a good sized percentage of her weight on the South Beach Diet.
When she noted the blank look on my face, she elaborated; "Yeah, went to South Beach* almost every night and lived on vodka, vicadin, and a little cocaine.

The OTHER boyfriend: IF goes out with him to other events that AREN'T Baseball (or topless bar) related. Cheater. They even went to a GEORGE MICHEAL CONCERT together! (IFW's comment when he went: "Don't come back any gayer!")

Gay Slacker dude: Has THREE degrees. THREE! By age 24. What does he do?
Anyone? Anyone? A WAITER! A WAITER! Awesome guy, though.

San Fran Gay: Don't really know much about him aside from the fact that he's a nice guy.

Lenny: Known him since I first met IFW. Don't know what he does, don't even know his real name. He's a borderline militant gay. He doesn't want to work hard at it because he doesn't like to sweat. Really.

Unknown Straight girl: Never met her before, but I think they were trying to hook me up. No. Ain't happening.

After greeting the kids, hugging the IFW, and greetings overall, I turn into the kitchen and spot a little banner on the wall "Happy Birthday!"
Fuck.
As usual I show up empty handed to one of their wingdings.
With little shame, I scoop up some of the yummies off the table and meander my way to the birthday girl.
"Did you ever think you'd make it to 40?"
"There wasn't a doubt in my mind, I just thought I'd be single and have more cats."
Ever charming.
I asked why they didn't give me a heads up as far her b/day or this was a bit of a potluck dinner and she basically knew that I've been having a rough couple of months and have been working like crazy to save up some money for an objective that I have as well as to distract myself overall.

As I go around talking to the rest of the guests, turns out they were all originally invited to the Superbowl Party.
This party showed promise of a great deal of fun with a ton of one liners going flying:

After one of the boys lures the other (both about 4) into the dog pen:
Friend; "hey connie! Your boy is practing to be a gimp!"
"He can fetch beers and knows the difference between the cans."

To mom holding infant:
"Baby just puked. Need a napkin?", as I instinctly reached for a wetnap that always seems to be in homes of infants and toddlers.

As she lowers baby to floor: "nah, the dog will take care of it."
Sure enough, he does, as I look on in disbelief as the Boxer takes care of the chore.

As the party was about to head out to the pool, I hesitated because of the heat and was hinting I was quite content (Of which a few others agreed) in staying in the air conditioned comfort of the room. But the kids were insistent;

"C'mon, let's take the kids to the pool,"
"What? Why not just let them go by themselves?"
"I know! I want to stay in and drink, but I gotta stay with the little bastards. Its always about them!"

Later on during the party after we've done some drinking and the Birthday girl not wanting to get up for another drink:
"Fisher price needs to come up with a bar set, so he can learn how to mix drinks when we chill out at home."

There were other great one liners that I just couldn't remember, but the happy couple were playfully sniping each other constantly.
When I remarked to the birthday girl that she seemed very happy her response was typical her:
"I am very happy. I have two great sons, a nice home, the only thing spoiling it is that I wished the daddy was a bit smarter than the kids."

After relenting and eventually going out to join them in the pool, I sweated a bit more and decided it was time to go home.
I hugged BDgirl, shook hands, hugged, and waved to people.

Looking back, I can't say I wasn't just a bit jealous, but seriously wondered if this was idylic in a marriage, or if I had my own weird views on a relationship.

Hopefully, I will find out soon.

*A local Gay Club called, "South Beach." Awesome dance music, btw. You should go.

Reading List

2009-05-26T02:25:00.005-05:00

These are my current and past reading lists. The reason I'm making this list is that I hear great books I want to read but I forget to buy them. I hope to correct this with buying a kindle in the NOT too distant future. This will give you a slight taste of what I'm like and how my mind might work.
I may be functionally illiterate, but I do like to read when I can.
Feel free to comment or make recommendations in either comments or in email. Yes, there is a brain behind the penis, but like your typical male, one is slightly bigger than the either.

As of 7/10/09

Currently reading:

"Wired for Warfare" by P.W. Singer

In queue:

"Future Jihad" by Walid Phares
Supercapitalism by Robert B. Reich
"The Big Switch" By Nicholas Carr
"American On Purpose" by Craig Ferguson

Previous:
"Monster of Florence" by Douglas Preston
"Unwind" by Neal Shusterman
"The Adventure of English" by Melvyn Bragg
"Malcolm X" by Alex Haley
"An Inconvenient Book" by Glenn Beck
The Early books written by "David Eddings"
"Sole Survivor" by Marcus Luttrell

When a cat doesn't cut it.

2009-05-16T12:48:00.001-05:00

Several weeks ago, I was taken down for a few days by a nasty little flu.
Swine flu or not, I was miserable and never felt so bad in my life. It struck so quickly that I didn't budge from the couch where I was at for three days and was only awake for a about 10 hours of them (I think) and this is my VERY hazy realization of how a girlfriend would have been handy and some of the REALLY whacked out dreams I had.

Late on Wednesday night, early Thursday morning, I wasn't feeling very well, and I felt the couch was quite comfortable and decided it was a good place for a nap.
Several hours later, I was freezing with a high fever.
Lovely.
Having the sudden urge to go to the bathroom, my head started spinning and a sneezing fit followed and laid back down
Kitty was sitting on the floor wondering why I hadn't fed her.
"You have bowl full of food. No fancy feast for you today."
Her response was the usual silent staring, so I ignored her and rolled over and promptly went back to sleep.
Some time later, I awoke with her on my chest, staring at me, and meowing loudly.

"I'm dying. Leave me alone."
Once again, the urge to to go the bathroom is there and I slowly get up. I'm dizzy, my stomach is doing flipflops, my throat felt like it was sandblasted, and incredibly thirsty.

As I'm walking like a zombie with a hangover to the bathroom, the cat is meowing at me and runs into the bathroom.for some water (don't ask).
Looking at the food bowl, it was half full. The "Fancy Feast" bowl was empty.
Whatever. she can live on purina one for now.
Going back to the couch, I collapse and start groaning and generally whine about my condition wishing for the sweet embrace of death.
While the cat and I are staring at each other, I ask her to go get me some nyquil that I forgot in the bathroom.
"Get me the Fancy feast, and I'll consider it."
"Bitch."
"Back atcha!"
I fade out and once again, the pressure on my chest woke me up.
Well that and her claws which are now applying substantial pressure to my bare chest.
"I'm hungry. I need food," She said. For emphasis she stuck her claws a bit deeper into my chest.
Fuck. I should have had her declawed years ago.
"No. Do me a favor and slit my throat with those things."
"Why? You're warm and I'm comfy. I just need food."
"You have food, dammit." I fail in my attempt to dislodge her. Felt like she weighed a ton.
"It's dry food. I want wet food."
"I'm dying. leave me alone."
"You know, if you had a girlfriend, she could take care of you." she said with some genuine concern in her meows.
"You mean, 'feed you'", I countered.
"Well, there is that," she admitted, "but more to the fact so I wouldn't have to listen to you whine."
"I don't whine!"
"You haven't had to sit here and listen to yourself."
I nod off and woke up sometime at 10pm on friday.
Once again, I make my trip to the bathroom as she rounds the corner from the bedroom and proceeds to meow at me in a nagging way.
"What do you want now?"
"I want food."
Looking over at her bowl, there is substantially less food than there was earlier.
"You shouldn't be hungry. Your bowl still has quite a bit left."
"But I had to eat that garbage since you passed out."
"I'm sorry, I don't feed you garbage."
"That's a matter of opinion. Also, you need to clean out the box."
"I'll clean it later, but I'll refill your bowl a bit," I said, offering a compromise.
"Fancy feast?", she perked up as I entered the kitchen.
"No, Purina one."
"Damn," with very obvious disappointment, "You still need to clean out my box."
"I'll do it after I recover, you can wait a day or two."
"Can I? Really?"
I never heard a cat sounding ominous before.
"Yeah, I'm sure."
Making my way back to the couch, I pass out once again.

The Coma was interrupted by a phone call early the next morning;
It was my Idiot friend
"You okay? Haven't heard from you. You sound like hell."
I murmur something that I don't remember. But I'm sure the word "death" was included in the sentence.
"Need me to bring you something? We are passing by you in a few hours.", I can hear his wife in the background already packing up medication.
"NO! Don't want you to catch this crap." Which is true, they have two small children, including an infant.
Hearing the phone wrestling away from him, the wife's voice comes on;
"Hey, we can leave it on your doorstep if you want. Where's your girlfriend?"
"Long story, she isn't in the picture."
"Sorry to hear that. Life would be easier right now if you had one around."
"Thanks. The cat mentioned that too."
"What? Are you smoking as well? I didn't think you touched the stuff."
"Long story. Go take care of the kids, and slap your husband for me."
"Okay. Hope you feel better. BYE!"
Me and IF talk for a minute more before I tell them I need to go die for awhile and pass out once again.
After being awakened by some annoying meowing, I start heading towards the bathroom and spot kitty waiting for me.
Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, she had that smug look that I am always suspicious of, so I peered into the tub.
Kitty poo.
"I told you there would be consequences."
"Fuck off, cat," as I reached to clean up the mess.
"There is more of that later if you want," she said in that menacing little voice of hers.
"No more snacks for you," I told her.
"Feh. You haven't given me snacks in weeks. It's an empty threat."
Yes it was. Damn.
I stomp back towards the couch, my fever at an all time high.
"You DESERVE the swine flu!"
Thinking back at the symptoms from the news, I was in the clear, but I need to make sure, so I power up the laptop and look it up:
Fever. Check. cough. Check. Sore throat. Yep. Runny nose. Check. Headache. Massive. Muscle soreness. Definitely.
" ...about 38% of patients had vomiting or diarrhea." Nope. Totally in the clear.
I power down and start watching what was recorded on my TiVo, get more water, get some leftover pizza, and settle down. I hadn't eaten in almost 2 days, and was starving.
Kitty teleported to my side.
"Food", was her only statement.
"Go to hell. Let me suffer in peace" and I push her off the couch.
She huffs away.
I'm after a couple of semi dazed hours of TV viewing, I'm in a catatonic (no pun intended) state, staring blankly at my "Playlist".
That's when I realized the other two symptoms showed their ugly heads.
Kitty was there to egg me on.
"You know, if you had a girlfriend, she'd help you with this."
The words "shut up" almost came out of my mouth, but it was rather busy at the time.

"You know, she would have made sure I was fed, changed my litter box, gave me fresh water, and-"
"HELLO! I'm the one that's SICK! I haven't really eaten, drank, or even bathed in three days!"

"You didn't have to point out the last one, that is obvious," she said with more than a little disgust in her tone.
Again, I decided it was best to pass out and ignore my cat.
She does have a point, though.

By the beginning of the fourth day, I was actually able to hold down food and take hour long HOT showers. It felt great to be (relatively) Human again.
The recollections of those conversations was just plain surreal, but as I retold the story to friends, and their knowing my cat; they found the whole thing quite believable.

Particularly that I need a girlfriend.

Good byes and hello's?

2009-05-11T02:09:00.000-05:00

Having a particularly rough day, I couldn't resist but to send KM a simple text.

"For what it's worth, Happy Mother's day."

My intent was that, I wished to continue our conversation and try to be less harsh to her and see where she wants this go to.

"Nice. You're an idiot."

Okay. That doesn't say much, so I simply responded:

"That isn't exactly a secret, Y'know."

Nothing since.
For whatever its worth, I think I blew it, but I don't think it was much of a loss.

While just sitting watching TV for another hour or so, my phone buzzed.

Andi.
We talked for a bit, she wanted to know how I was, so I relayed some of the recent (Vanilla) drama in my life and mentioned my previous "Conversation" with KM in the vaguest of terms.
She mentioned she recently had a falling out with a guy she was "seeing" for a bit as well.
We really didn't cover any new ground, except that she said she'd try harder and, once again, apologized for being such a wishy-washy person.

We hung up on better terms than we did last time, but I'm still apprehensive as to what she has in mind.

I guess its time to put up another ad.

Returning with ghosts...

2009-05-09T15:41:00.001-05:00

I was out and about working and doing the idiot things that I do, when my phone buzzed, I looked down and this is basically a Text conversation that covered TWELVE hours:

Hey Guy-you doing okay? --KM

AW SHIT! I pondered for several minutes as to what to do. SOOOOO...I did the only thing my simple male mind could think of:

Me: how are you? Doing fine, actually.

KM: Good

KM: How's your love life?

Me: Nonexistent, really. Had a few nibbles but nothing appealing.

KM: :-(

Me: Found someone you're attached to? I was missing you.

STUPID! STUPID! Why did I say that?? probably because it's true.

KM: Well, lots of soul searching. Robert comes home Thursday for three weeks. I am trying to get to where I don't need to see him. Honestly, I have thought of you almost every day. I wasn't being fair having someone else in my heart. That is not the type of relationship I want.

Me: I figured that was the issue, for the most part.

KM: Yep.

We talked a bit more about some of her relationships deal with the other guy, and I got a bit peeved and was wondering WHY she was texting:

Me: So, the reasoning of this texting is for you to reaffirm that?

KM: Must you be so hard? I was opening the line of communication.

Me: Sorry if it came out that way. I really liked you, but you put up a number of reasons why we can't be together, and while I would love to date you again, I have to be cynical. Particularly since you said we could still be friends after THE TALK.

KM: You know what? You didn't try to contact me, either so don't give me that bullshit. I should have known better.

Me: Actually, you said you'd let me know after you left. I am not going to harass a girl who wants space. You know that's how I am. I drive by your place all the time and refrain from putting a I miss you note on your car window, so you don't feel like you have STALKER. On your hands.

KM: That would have been very sweet. <What? REALLY??>

Me: What you might consider sweet, another would see as. A stalker. See my point. I do miss you though.

KM: I would never put you in the stalker category.

Me: And how am I supposed to know that? You want space, I give it to you. We men are stupid with signals, remember? You have to hit us over the head.

KM: I still don't know what I want or need. I work entirely too much to think about myself. I do know that I miss you. That has to count for something, right?

Me: Yes it does, I am open to quite a few things in life, but I can't compete with a ghost.

Which is true. Until she can get the other guy out of her head, there is no point of even really having this discussion and it irritated me. The entire conversation was starting to get on my nerves.

KM: I'm sorry to have bothered you.

Me: You're not bothering me, I just like to know where I stand with you. You say you want to open a line, but I don't understand to what end. I would love for you to come back to me, though.

Once again, I realize some of the stupid shit I'm saying. Do I really want her back?

KM: Would you?

Me: Yes, but you had issues about me though.

KM: Yes, but you said you could adjust

The question, could I? Would I be willing to give up my hobby?

KM: So.....I am at Work. Would love for you to come give me a hug.

Me: I'm sweaty at the moment.

Truth is, I didn't want to cave in and drive there. I wanted to be logical about the whole thing.

KM: I really miss you.

Me: I miss you too, and I think about our smooching sessions.

KM: Same here. I just don't know where to go from here. It still scares me.

Me: What? The smooching scares you?

KM: No. I was falling for you.

Me: I was digging you too...but again, there has to be quite a bit to talk about. Remember, there were some issues with me that you didn't seem very fond of.

KM: I know. But you seemed to want to work with me.

Me: I do, but we need extended time together.

KM: I can give you that. Well, if you are willing to date a workaholic.

Me: Duh! Ms. Pot? I'm Mr. Black. Pleasure to meet you.

KM: I know.

Me: Calling it a night.

KM: Continue this later?

Me: Sure, if you want.

KM: Goodnight.

That was this past Sunday. We continued to talk a bit later, after we both couldn't sleep and touched upon something that was not resolved earlier in the day.

I asked her about Robert, and finally said, unless she wants us in a threesome, she needs to resolve this.

While I meant to say it in a joking way, she never responded back.

STUPID, STUPID, STUPID ME!

2009-05-01T03:47:00.000-05:00

Looking at my phone, I saw the subject matter of the latest email:

Lauren wants to connect to you on Yahoo!

WTF?
I reread the title several times.
In fact, I may have done it at least 10 times before I finally opened the email.

It was a typical "Let's connect on Yahoo."
Sitting on the email for a few hours, I accepted the "Invitation" and waited, but being an impatient person, I decided to send her a message:

Hey there,
How're you doing? Is everything okay with you?
Was a bit surprised about the invitation.

I mean, even though she broke off our dating suddenly, I wished her no malice.

Several hours later, while nodding off at an awards dinner my phone was buzzing.
Praying it was an alien polite enough to abduct me from my current circle of hell, or perhaps even the Grim Reaper offering to take me out of my suffering; instead I receive the following:

I'm good, how are you?
What invitation?

Aw shit! I had forwarded the original "invitation" while before taking another stab at what is supposed to be chicken on my plate.
I explain the situation to Starfish, when she came up a plausible story:

Could it be that she just signed up for yahoo and it automatically sent out the "invitation."

It has been a number of years since I signed up, so I couldn't come up with an alternative theory. Now, I'm dealing with a door I accidently opened that should have remained closed.

STUPID! I should have just ignored it!

Additionally: I haven't had any takers on my latest ad and no new takers, which is just as well. Being busy with the party and all, plus some other drama in my life and job, I just don't have time for any real dating for the next couple of weeks at least.

I think I need to take another couple of weeks off and go on a bender for a bit.

So long, Latina...

2009-04-15T04:56:00.000-05:00

Well, our initial dates and meetings got off to a rough start with my being sick, her being sick, my being busy, and her being busy. I tried calling a couple of times, admittedly half-heartedly, but never got a call back for several days.

I think its safe to call this one gone as well.
Aside from out political views on some things, her weird ideas on conspiracy theories was sorta' a deal breaker for me.

See ya!

Dinner with a Latin Flavor

2009-04-03T14:37:00.000-05:00

"We still on?", I sent in a text.

"YES!", was the reply.
I pulled into traffic and was on my way during heavy traffic to make it past the Galleria area by 7pm.
The phone rang with her name;
"Yes?"
"Hey! Can you pick me up? My sister has to use my truck."
"Huh?"

I absorb the situation and agree that its probably the best option.
Having pulled up to her complex, I am greeted by her and her sister, who immediately takes down my name and license plate information.
WTF?
Since I picked her up, the original location of our dinner wasn't sounding as appetizing.
I take in my surroundings and realize there is a half decent restaurant right in front of us. Parking the car, we go in and eventually get our order and start our conversation.

As she begins, I take in her features; Slightly heavy, with smiling eyes, tan (naturally) skin, with a slightly suggestive blouse.
She goes on about reverse racism and how she is considered the ultra-conservative of her family; She has a hate (that I share) for the local LULAC president/Clan Director, or whatever.

During the course of the conversation, I tested the waters as far as her sexually being open.
Swinging wasn't even remotely appealing, nor were threesomes.
I didn't dare to bring up any of the other things.

The dinner and conversation went well, no red flags came up, but the date overall was.....blah.

I'm hoping for another date in the near future, though to see if there is a spark.

Wave off and a test of will power

2009-03-31T14:41:00.003-05:00

I was rather ahead of schedule for our first meeting by at least 20 minutes, so I figure I'd give her a quick call to let her know and if she wanted me to order a drink for her.
She didn't answer and it eventually went to voice mail.
Didn't think about it too much at the time, since I was pondering smacking my car into a hummer that was a little too close for comfort.
Two minutes later, my phone rang:
"Hey! I'm sorry I didn't answer, I JUST got home."
"That's cool. Worked late?"
"Yeah, boss kept me running around all day.
"So you REALLY do need that drink, hm? I can wait a bit longer if you need the time to freshen up."
"Actually, I'm bushed, can we make it for another day? Like maybe Wednesday? I'm sorry!"
"Sure, no problem, I have work to do anyway."

Which is true, it was going to be a busy night and the traffic was putting me in a bad mood.

This isn't the first time I got a wave off on a first date, so I didn't let it get to me.

At 4 in the morning, during the night, I realized that i was within a couple of blocks of KM's home, for some inexplicable reason I found myself driving by.
Within a few short moments, I saw the darkened home with her car out front.
I wistfully look at the spot where we had had our first encounter.

Sitting for a few moments, I scribbled the following on a piece of paper:

I do miss you.
Wish you were in my life still, but I'm not angry. Reconsider.
R.

The 30 second walk to her car seemed like forever and the wiper seemed unusually heavy as I slipped it underneath.

I stood there for an eternity watching the moisture from the windshield cling to my paper.
Fuck that.
Grabbing the paper, I threw it into the gutter on the way back to the car.

Shit.

Random odd shit

2009-03-30T16:53:00.001-05:00

First off, I'm dressed and ready.

Not going to get super dressed because I have to work tonight and want to be comfortable, but I want to show I CAN clean up properly.

Another thing that has been going through my mind is religion.
Having been raised Catholic, it took quite a bit to change my outlook on life and free myself of most of those bonds, but I have always held on (in a kinda of love/hate kinda' way) to my faith of sorts. I mean, considering what I like to do and have lived my life, I can SO burn in hell.

Then that's when I realized a cool factor with Catholicism; we can confess and all our sins would be forgiven.
I imagine it's akin to writing all your sinful actions on an etch a sketch (albeit a large one for me), handing it to a priest (or God, whatever), having him turn it over and shake it; WOO! Clean slate!

Last night I had several odd dreams, one of which I had a beard when I met my date and she ran away.
Not that I blame her, I tried growing a beard several years ago, I gave up when I figured I was going to look like a Taliban member that smelled of Old Spice.

My other dream related to what I touched briefly in my last post: How to see how kinky they are?

In my head I asked her after the 2nd date (I'm an optimist)the following:
"What would you say to a threesome, either with guys or girls?"
"Do you believe in 'Barny's' saying, 'Caring means sharing' applies sexually as well?"
"What are your thoughts on Anal play and orgies?"
"If you're not into (name kink) do you mind if I have someone on the side that is?"

There were a few more, but I can't remember them. Each one ended in either a slap or me waking up in a cold sweat.

The Preliminaries for a Latin Flavors

2009-03-30T02:32:00.000-05:00

I totally forgot to call her on Thursday, Friday, AND Saturday.
Sorry. I've been BUSY!
Apparently, I didn't slip her mind because she called me Saturday night to let me know she was still around.
Okay.
Apparently I didn't piss her off with my poo-poo-ing her conspiracy theories.
We talked a bit longer and told me about what was going on in her life and mine for a few hours on the phone.
Looking at my calender, I decided to take the plunge and asked her if she wanted to meet at a popular place near where she lives.
She agreed to this, but I had to give her a general idea of what time. Considering the part of town she was in and the general time it was, traffic was going to be a total nightmare.
Additionally, she lived within five minutes of the place and readily agreed to the vagueness of time for the reasons I gave.
We talked a bit more until it was time for her to go get some sleep.

Now that the date has been set, I've been over thinking things again; in particularly sex.
Again, I said that I'm going to be chaste; but at what point is a good time to say;

"By the way, I like orgies and gangbangs. How about you?"

Run for the border....and back?

2009-03-25T04:48:00.000-05:00

Well, I only got three replies to my post on CL since the latest "Break up", but one was interesting.
Sharing a common ethnic background, we hit it off initially. I ask her some really stupid personal questions, which could be considered a "stereotype" but she laughs it off and replies in the positive...

Then we start hitting off on some personal peeves that people do that make themselves look like a caricature of a stereotype (Read: Brown trash). We continue laughing about some of the same experiences we shared dating someone of the same race and how we sometimes rolled our eyes when they would do bizarre shit.

Yeah, we both think Gold plates with your name on a chain around your neck is classy.*
Yeah. We think that penciling (Badly) in your shaved eyebrows is in fashion around the world.*
Oh we definitely think women should wear clothes two sizes too tight.*
If you're not detecting the sarcasm in this section; I'm sorry.

Laughing ourselves silly to the point where I start to uncontrollably cough forces me to cut the call short.

Okay. I'm liking this.

A few hours later, we continue our call and we continue our talk about various things when suddenly she mentions she doesn't do Chinese or Asian food.
"Really?"
"Yep. Don't like wierd foods."
"SERIOUSLY?"
"Yeah."

Oh fuck. I LOVE Chinese, Thai, and Japanese.
Alright, I can deal with it, I've gotten girlfriends/dates to like different cuisines.

We go to kidding about our relatives and such and I mention I had a relative who is REALLY into conspiracy theories...like not going to the moon.
She responds that he's probably right.

You ever hear that "screeching" noise in your head when you go "WTF?"
Yeah, that's what I heard.

So we actually start debating this and the 9/11 theory.

I finally shut her up by a simple fact of human nature:

People love to talk.
It can't be helped.
Every major event in history has been uncovered because one or two people couldn't stand it anymore.

People not coming out of the woodwork with the Kennedy assassination, The Moon Landing, and 9/11 was something she couldn't deny.
But I might have lost a potential girlfriend by winning a pointless debate..

It was getting late and she had to get to bed, I had more work to do and I had to think about this.

We are a bit distant as far as political ideaology goes, but we think along the same lines culturally and religiously.

We're going to try to arrange a date sometime next week, I am still feeling a bit under the weather and I have a feeling I need my wits about me for this one.

*After debating for an hour or so about linking up to examples, I just couldn't do it. The relatives might all pile into a tricked out chevy and run to my door...if they can keep their pants from falling down around their knees.

So Long Lauren

2009-03-19T15:13:00.001-05:00

Struggling to wake up, I automatically reached for my phone for any messages, and as usual, I had some.
Rolling over to read the various text and email messages, I noticed Lauren sent an email.
She usually sends me some snarky remark relating to something happening in my life.
It wasn't something I was expecting:

Essentially, she has been dating someone else before we had met and it has recently took a more serious turn and she wanted to see it go. I had suspected she was dating someone else, but that didn't bother me; we weren't serious at the time and it wasn't an issue. However, I am feeling a bit sore at myself for not making more of an effort to see her, but despite her being relatively close to me, our schedules were against us. This added to my not having much vested emotionally to her, or rather, each other.

After some thought, I sent her the following:
Look, don't worry about it. I am ok with it since our schedules and everything wasn't really falling in place and didn't think it was very fair to you either.
I do wish you the best with your education and career, as well as your relationship.

Obviously there is a bit more to that, but I also included an invitation to a party if she is interested in.

Oh well, it was fun, now that I feel better (Finally!), I'm going to repost the ad I put up earlier this year.

Just a quick one...

2009-03-14T16:51:00.000-05:00

Since I've been laid up, I've literally had nothing to do but watch movies, curse my cat, and read blogs.
Hell, I can't even really talk on the phone because of this blasted cough, but I can drive for short periods of time just to get out of this bloody place.

On my other blog, I recently was talking about a blog going away that I'm going to miss, but there has been a close call with another blog. After going through a rough patch with some people associated with, she thought about taking the blog private. Due to a barrage of comments asking her not to give in, she decided to keep posting like she had done so previously. It is my hope that this will stem the tide of some very popular blogs that have been going to black in the past few months, among my favorites, which is a shame.

This is an example of why I always tell people to keep the details of their blogs vague enough where people can't pinpoint information about them.
I happen to live in a large city, and therefore am able to hide more easily, even though I give some details that yet to be seen on any other blogs. My expectations are that there is enough traffic overall that people won't be able to pin down who is who.

In my last post, I mentioned my fondness of certain movies and what my idealized (maybe totally unrealistic) view of romance. Well, so happens they are running "The Quiet Man" on TMC on the 17th of March at 8PM EST.
Given this is on St. Patrick's day, everyone should be a bit on the bombed side, so be sure to set up your TiVos or other DVR's.
I think you ladies might appreciate the movie, though.

On the dating front, I got a nice little offline IM from Andi;
"Haven't heard from you in awhile, how have you been? Call me?"
OMG, is she serious?
After giving it a couple of hours, debating whether or not to reply, I tapped in my message:
"You already know the deal, or haven't you been listening?"

Hopefully she will get the hint, or she simply doesn't want to let go.

My Fantasy, My Wish, My Happily Ever After...IDEALLY

2009-03-10T03:48:00.000-05:00

Earlier in the evening, I had a nice casual date with Lauren at a nice little TGIF's (Ew). She had some personal problems over the past weekend and we talked about it a great deal before we got to talking about things in general. Just like with Katy, it was a nice casual talk about nothing. She noted that I didn't look like my mutual self and asked if I had fully recovered, a coughing fit a few seconds later answered her question.
It was a good dinner and I think we needed it to establish whether or not our rapport was genuine. I'm still trying to make up my mind about it. Making a mental note, I need to try to go out with her more to see if there is a connection there.

Bear with me, I'm all hopped up on Nyquil and Cough Syrup on only a few hours of sleep and if this post makes absolutely no sense, don't worry, I'll edit it when I'm sober-ish.

I'm sitting up emptying out my TiVo of all the programs that have been piling up in the past. The only things that are on are a few movies that I like watching over and over whitch are VERY idealized romantic movies called, "The Quiet Man" and "The American President."
In fact, right now I'm watching "The Quiet Man" and I get a bit wispy watching it.
Yes.
Me.
The guy who has been a single guy forever who, up until recently, didn't think anything about one night stands.
Fact is, that the two movies are the way I want my IDEALIZED relationship to be.
TQM in particular strikes a chord, for the few girls that haven't discovered the movie, it basically deals with a man (John Wayne) coming back to his roots and falls in love with a traditional girl and hell insues as he tries to make sense of traditions and the silliness he sees on courtship.
God damnit, I WANT the silliness.
Without giving too much away, I am a bit of a traditionalist in some things. I want someone with the same (general) common background.
No, I don't want a happy house wife; I want a partner.
I want a woman who I will gladly fight for, and a woman who will not only fight FOR me, but fight against my own stupidity.
Yes. I acknowledge the fact that we men, have a tendency to be more than a little stupid at times.
The way I see it, our spouses are supposed to bring out the best in the people they share their life with.

Okay, so sometimes we may do it kicking as screaming, but in the end, we generally need it.

Well, maybe I'm just talking about myself, but you may nod silently to yourself and I won't tell.

The thing is that I want a woman that has the same basic traditions that I do; who won't bend over to my will and stand up to me when its needed.

Thing is, I thought I came fairly close to that a few times and I was hoping I struck gold recently, but it wasn't meant to be.
To add to being "traditional" as far as a relationship or marriage goes, IDEALLY she would like some of my interests as well.
I know I've discussed this in a previous post, but it still bugs me on what I TRULY want in a relationship and which would win out the most?
If looking for both qualities in a woman, would that lead me on a chase for the Holy Grail that I may never find? Would it be enough for me to only find half of what I'm looking for to give up looking for either that "Traditional" girl or "Nympho?"

It just makes me wonder.

Excuse me, I have to go ponder sobering up before I go to sleep.

2nd Date with Lauren....

2009-02-25T20:05:00.001-06:00

I like watching the Academy Awards.
Yes. I'm that guy. Shut up.
Preferring to watch it with someone, I asked Lauren if she was willing to watch it with me, to which she readily agreed.
Meeting up at 6pm and after I get introduced to her dog we settle down, watch some TV, and we BS about the movies that are up and such.
The evening is fairly uneventful; aside from occasional smooch we pretty much behaved ourselves.

All that went out the window shortly after the award for Best Sound Editing, though.
I started with a series of smooches, nipple teases, and neck nibbles.
She retaliated with a series of kisses of her own and a teasing of my cock.
After a heated session, I simply said that I wanted to give her a rimjob and I wanted to do it now. Her reaction was instant with her grabbing my hand and dragging me to her bedroom.
She stopped in front of the bed, dropped and stepped out of her pants. Moving behind her, I simply bent her over and proceeded slowly lick around her asshole for a couple of minutes as her moans were increasing in volume and frequency. Finally taking the plunge, I shoved my tongue into her ass as I fingered her clit.
This continued for a bit until she had a very loud orgasm. It was later that she told me she had three during that session.
We continued a fairly intense sex session until I had an orgasm in her mouth...

Session one was fun, but the conversation we had during the 2nd session was more than interesting.

The Pasta Dinner Intervention Ambush...

2009-02-21T16:29:00.001-06:00

I love pasta.
Adore Pasta.
LOVE pasta.
I can be (and have been) bribed for it.
Stormcloud used it to great effect over the years as a (not so) subtle way to get me over so I can fuck her senseless later.
So it was with a great delight that I accepted IFW's invitation for a pasta dinner with her family and a couple of close friends.

Cutting to a few days later, I enter her happily cluttered home, but the first thing that I notice is that the kids are gone, which struck me as odd. Missing my child, I grow a bit of a fondness of the chaos the kids bring to ones home.
Some other friends (mostly hers) arrive and we sit down with a glass of wine while a lovely spaghetti dinner is served.
She can make a simple dinner seem elegant and knows my particular weakness for this specific dish.
We talk about gay, family, kids, and other issues with a great amount of ribaldry that only friends like these can have with one another.
When IFW's sat us down in the living room and took away my glasses, the laughter slowly died down.
Apparently, being the slow one of the group, I was the last to notice because I was busy rubbing the ears of one of their Boxers who suddenly wanted to be a lapdog.

Looking up made me take notice that there weren't many smiling faces anymore and IFW started with a sentence that floored me;

"You need to date again."

I sat there dumbfounded.

"You work too much, don't go out on dates, have too many responsibilities, and I think that's what is keeping you from finding someone, plus you probably need to get laid more too."

Let's break this down:
Okay, I do work 50-80 hours a week, but mostly to help my kid to through college (with a *60%* scholarship, thank you!). I haven't told them why KM I broke up, nor did I mention Lauren.
But getting laid? Oh Come on!

While listening to this little tirade that IFW is doing, I look at everyone's faces with looks of concern and I just have to laugh inside while they all took their turns in bemoaning my lack of a mate or, at least, a regular companion to share my bed with.

They have no clue.

While IF, IFW and Co., are the dearest of friends, I have never confided them about my other activities.
Again, I realized that I was slow on the uptake and she had stopped talking and was waiting on a response.

"Why, you're right! I need to get out more, in fact, I AM seeing someone new."
It was her turn to look astonished.
"You are? Already?"
"Well, it is nothing official, we're still feeling each other out, but its promising, so we will see."
"SEX?"
She can be called quite a few things, but "SHY" isn't one of them and she's one of the few people in the world that can take me off guard.

"To be honest, we haven't, but it's not like I've been leading a monastic life."

"Good, I'd like to meet her."

"I love you, but it's really none of your business. When I decide to, we'll make our appearance to see if she can pass your inspection and not pass out from embarrassment.

After another couple of hours, we talk about the kids, (IF NEVER talks about the kids, but IFW will even talk about bowel movements) and things go to normal.
On cue, the kids are brought back by a next door neighbor and a merriment of insanity ensues. The baby cries, the kiddo runs around and the dogs do their best to cajole a morsel from one of the guests while playing with their returning playmate.

"If there is anything else, I'll be on my way to one of my many 'responsibilities.'"

With that, everyone comes up to me to give me a hug and a peck on the cheek.
IF walked me out to my car to let me out of the gate.
"You two are quite a couple."
"We have fun."
IF: man of few words.
As many times that is repeated throughout my life, I head back onto empty streets and as I approach an intersection, I pull over to a parking lot and reach for the phone and send a text message.

"are you sleep?"

"Hey baby! Want some ass?"
LOL!
"Maybe."
"Well, my ass wants you. Come over."

Instead of turning right onto the freeway, I turn left.

Yeah, I need to get laid more.

The Date that wasn't......I think

2009-02-16T10:14:00.000-06:00

The day started with VD kickin' my ass.
Having worked over 20 hours over a two day span, I was exhausted when my eyelids pried themselves open on Sunday morning. I had a ton of crap to do before my date and I needed every bit of caffeine I could muster to even maintain a state of semi-consciousness.
Having gone to my "beautician", she hates being called a "Barber." She was someone I went on a couple of dates with, but instead I go to her to cut my hair. We don't talk much, but as long as she cuts my hair fine, I'll be more loyal to her than any other person on the planet.
Yeah. Some men are that way. We're stupid.
As the time draws near, I find myself across town when I get the email that she isn't feeling that great and was wondering if we could postpone it a couple of hours. to about 6pm.
No biggie...
I continue in my zombie-like state of chores and go to a Circuit City near our meeting place when I got the call of "I can't do it" from her.
She gave me the TMI of what is ailing her and I just told her it's no big deal.
To be honest, I was quite relieved and immediately went to the parking lot to nap.
Yes. I was THAT tired.
An hour later, being startled awaked by a nearby car alarm, I went to have a ravenous dinner at a nearby BW3's and on my way home when I got a call from Lauren.

"Hey cutie."
"Hey yourself, how're you feeling?"
"Better now, are you up for a dinner now? My treat."
"Sure, we can hang, but I just ate something, so I'll just nosh on something."
"give me 15 minutes and here is my address."
The email reaches my phone seconds later.
"Got it, be there in 30 minutes."

Later walking to her apartment, I'm greeted at the door with a hug and immediately walks out.
"I'm sorry, I haven't eaten all day and I'm famished."

We head over to a chain steakhouse and we chit chat about the day.
She asks some rather pointed questions about me and I answer honestly and I recieve a great vibes from her reactions.
When she inquires why I'm not as inquisitive about her, my response startles her;
"That won't change who you are if things work out, doesn't it? Besides, we have time."
It's true that I don't want to find out EVERYTHING about a person on a first date.
To appease her a bit I asked her if she was a Psycho, a Serial Killer, or a crazy chick.
Much to my relief, she took it as the humor it was intended and let the matter drop as we continued talking about the crappy weekend.
Things felt good and the talk came easy.
Awesome.
We went back to her place and talked a bit more.
She was showing all the signs that she was comfortable with me.
Touching and rubbing my arm, head gestures, tentative handholding.
Reaching over for a light kiss, it turned out to a long smooching session.
The back of mind was gently reminded me of my chaste commitment.
I told the back of my mind to go back to controling my heart rate or something.
When her hand wandered over to rubbing my cock, all bets were off and our smooching turned into a full out make out session resulting in bites on the back of her neck, which she found VERY appealing.
Having discovered one of her breasts made it out of her blouse (Oops!) I nibbled and bit with a note of approval, particularly when she said she was about to orgasm as I continued my biting and nibbling.
After her orgasm subsided, she did something unexpected.
She brought out my cock proceeded to give me a lovely blowjob that resulted in an orgasm a few short minutes later.
We composed ourselves afterwards and continued to talk until midnight when it was decided that SHE needed to get some sleep.
She gave me a warm kiss goodnight and I turned around back to my car with a light spring on my step.

Just Hit Delete

2009-02-14T13:31:00.000-06:00

My phone is clogged with old friends and current clients.

Occasional I have to delete a number of someone that I just haven't heard from in forever for whatever reason.
Just hit delete, and the person you have will be gone forever....or at least, you hope so.

To hit delete on your contact list means that the person in your life no longer exists.
Used to be that you had their phone number(s), addresses, their Aunt Irma's, or god knows what other info on a Rolodex* or some phone book at home.

Today it's more of a tenuous grip we have on the people we have in our lives, all of our information to our friends is usually contained on our cell phones. We lose that cell phone and odds are, we will find out who will miss us until we scavenge the numbers again.
Additionally, we also contain quite a few other people on a contact list on our IM's and outlooks.
If our computers are stolen or killed, the same thing occurs.
Who will truly miss before we get our digital lives back together again.

Then there are those that you want out of your life.
You need them out of your life.
The Ex-Husband/Wife/Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Lover.

Hitting delete is a big step of going forward in your life, but some people are afraid to hit delete so we have these numbers on our phones that we never call, hope to one day hear from.
We hope they don't delete us.

Stella: Former fiance, one of my best lovers. I had to grow up and realize my life with her but we would be living in a contestant world of a Lifetime Movie. Having finally hit delete a few months ago, but she's proven she rarely hits delete on mine.

GD: An easy delete, no emotional attachment. I deleted haven't heard from since.

Andi: One of my tougher deletes, took me a bit to move on, now I have to put up with the occasional I miss you Text messages AND IM's. She obviously doesn't really want to let go. I'm going to ask her next time I see her to delete me. I want us to lose our way to each other.

Sharon: Tried hitting delete, but we now have an "understanding" to what has the potential to be a very toxic (yet fun) relationship. Meh.

KM: She called the whole thing off and become "Friends", but what I told her what they might include, she hesitated. I deleted, but I don't think she did. We'll see.

Each delete means that you're growing that much more.

Yay. Happy Fucking Valentine's Day.

*For those kids that don't know what a rolodex is.

Sure, my life has no drama...

2009-02-11T05:46:00.042-06:00

On my way to work yesterday evening, I needed to go ahead and push forward with meeting Lauren to see what kind of chemistry is there before deciding to put up another ad or not.
Giving her a quick call, we have some social niceties before I just cut to the chase and ask her if she wants to go to a movie and dinner on Sunday.
She quickly accepts, but I can tell there was something she wanted to ask, but chose not to continue.

We talk about a movie, she approves, and then I promise we'll talk about firming up the time as the day draw near.

Yeah. I know. I'm such a romantic.
Shut up.

As my day progresses, I get a text.
Hmm....gee..who sends texts....
KM!
Yeah, I'm surprised too. Here's the entire conversation, of which I can't figure out what she's trying to say:

KM: "What are you up to?"
Me: "Not much."
KM: "Working?"
Me: "Sorta. You?" Translation: "Cut to the chase. You dropped me."
KM: "On my porch reflecting. Letting you go was difficult."
Me: "Ok. I didn't expect to hear from you this quickly." Which I didn't. Ever.
KM: "I am sorry."
Me: "About what?"
KM: "Everything."
Me: "Oh. Okay."
20 minute pause.
Me: "I guess that was all then."

WTF what all that about? Can a woman translate that for me? Am I over-thinking this? What really made it awkward was the fact that I just happen to be 4 blocks away when the texting started. It was hard not to turn the car around.

I know this goes onto my OTHER blog, but it just shows how weird my dating/other life, is sometimes.

Katy: "Hey. Really enjoyed the other morning."
Me: "So did I. Look forward to it again."
Katy: "When is a party? I want about 6 guys."
Me: "Okay. March?"
Katy: "That would be awesome."

Now to get a party organized too..

THE Talk

2009-02-09T20:24:00.002-06:00

Showing up at the IHOP, RIGHT at 6:30.
KM is no where in sight.
Great.

At 7pm, I see her walking in, give me a kiss, and sit down.
We start with idle chit chat and talking about the usual stuff.
"So, what IS the talk?" I want to cut to the chase.
"Well..." she started....
Just like I had mentioned in another post, she didn't have time, but as I have put together this past weekend, she had no real desire to be with me. She enjoyed my company, but didn't feel the need to share what little free time she had with me, but she wanted to remain friends.
She stopped after 10 minutes and looked at me.

"Yes?" I asked.
"Are you okay with this?"
"I suspected it for quite some time. the question is, what are 'Friends?' I can't send you any smooching texts, naughty texts, we can't smooch, I can't hold you while we watch movies.
In other words, what is there left?"
She had no answer.
"I didn't expect you to be this calm about it. I was hoping you'd walk away, this would have been much easier on the both of us."
"The easy way out is for cowards. The Ball is in your court."

We talked about it back and forth for a bit, our waitresses knew something was up. They were there since the beginning of our dinners and have grown rather comfortable with us.
"Do you guys need anything else?" The youngest asked as she brought my dinner.
"No."
"Are you guys okay?"
"No. We're breaking up." I casually said as I cut into my steak.
"That sucks man. You two are my favorite!" and she walked off.
We both smiled at her response.
"Yeah, it sucks," I repeated.
We continued talking and pretty much told her to not to worry about me and that I'll be perfectly fine.
"Well, you're going to have to tell me what the parameters I need to follow with being friends with you. You contact me when you're ready."
She was still at a loss as to what else to say.
"Well, I need to....well...want to leave." she was on the verge of breaking down. no one could possibly tell, but I read her facial expressions.
"I assume you don't want me to walk you to your car."
Her lip quivering as she gave a quiet "no."
"Then goodbye."
With that, she quickly grabbed her purse and walked out as fast as she could.
The waitresses came by offering me an ice cream cone, but I refused.
I sat there for a bit, sucking down the last of my drink.
It was a full 5 minutes before I saw her car left the lot.
She must have been crying.
Leaving the money on the table and heading towards the door, a voice came up behind me.
"Does that mean you're not coming back again?"
"Unless she is with me, I have no reason to. Goodluck, kids."
With that, I walked off not looking back

No date, but a talk...

2009-02-09T17:23:00.003-06:00

I was almost dead asleep at 2pm when I got a call from Lauren; she has to postpone. The bug that has been nagging her for a month has her feeling pretty crappy.
Considering I stayed up a bit later than usual, I slept until 4pm, so I was more than a little relieved.

Enjoying my bit of bliss was disturbed when my phone went off...KM!

"Hi baby!"
"Hey. Are you working today?"
uh-oh...I don't like that tone and she went on to explain her rough day to the point where she was free this evening. She didn't have that "smile" that I hear over the phone.
"Uh...no." Uh...YEAH! I gotta finish my damned laundry, but I wasn't going to give her an excuse.
"Okay, can we meet to talk tonight?" Inwardly I groan. The TALK, but I don't stress out about it.
"Sure when and where?"
"How about the usual place, when is a good time for you."
"Are we going to have THAT talk?"
"I don't know, depends on how you take it after we're through."
"Okay, Give me two hours so I ca-"
"Two Hours?" Genuinely surprised.
"Yeah, I just woke up. give me a bit to shower and shave." Not to mention dealing with the hell that is traffic at this time.
"So, 7:30?"
"No, 6:30 or 7, I fig-"
"So which? 6:30 or 7?"
"6:30" She was starting to get on my nerves, "What is this about?"
"Something I didn't want to talk about in Text or over the phone."
What a NOVEL idea!
"See you there" and hang up the phone."

I'll update a bit later tonight.

It's 12:30 am, do you know where your date is?

2009-02-09T02:28:00.004-06:00

Well, once again, work gets in the way of my date with KM on Tuesday, Friday, and Last night (Sunday) . Good thing we're not DATING.

Now, to be fair, MY work kinda' interfered with it, but that was on Tuesday.
Whatever.

I guess because I told her I was doing 10 LOADS, she just assumed I was probably too busy to be bothered with a smooching session with her.
Oh yeah, laundry.
I just got a hard on for it.

On a side note, she confessed she fingered herself silly to my text message a few days ago.

Anyway, back at the ranch...

At about 12:30am, I got a TEXT from Lauren.
A TEXT!
Doesn't anyone believe in talking anymore?

"We didn't make a date. :-("
"How about tomorrow?"
"Cool. Red Lobster? 4:30?"
"I'm SO there."

Red Lobster?? I guess it's about as good as a place for a first date as any.

But RED LOBSTER?!?

Whatever. Well, at least it will prove to be an interesting date.

HURRY KM! Your ship is sailing!

A text to wake up to:

2009-02-06T15:54:00.007-06:00

What she read first thing in the morning on her phone:

"I want to sit you down on my lap, nude and away from me, while I nibble on your neck and rub your clit."

What I wanted to do, but neglected to put in, "In full view of a room full of men and women."

Is that bad?

The Smooch

2009-02-06T14:34:00.080-06:00

KM and I were talking (okay, Texting), about what she liked in a sensual/sexual relationship.

"Deep long kisses."
"But I have yet to kiss you that way, just smooches."
"I LOVE your little smooches."

The conversation moved on to other things, but it got me thinking.about smooches.

Kissing has been in film since almost the begining of film, poetry, song, and idealized by many adolescent girls.

Me? I prefer smooching. While the movie "The Kiss" is actually a smooch, while it is extremely tame by today's standards, I find it very erotic.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the deep sensual kisses that you could remember for days, but you have to have the right circumstances. To properly plant a good kiss needs the right timing and space needed.
Smooching, on the other hand, can be planted anytime and anywhere, as needed. It can be given in front of other people without that uncomfortable pause/look from them. It's a low dose of PDA that won't offend anyone.
Well, maybe not EVERYONE.
It can be a very subtle reminder that you care for that person, so a drive by smooching is perfectly acceptable. As busy as my schedule is, sometimes that's all you get as I fly out the door, additionally, I've also found that time seems to move a bit slower, allowing to appreciate that person a bit more. A quarter of a second seems to stretch out to a full minute when you look at her in the eyes of your target and you see their eyes change as you get in closer.
I have two favorite targets; the neck and the lips.
Ears are okay, but only when you have a full make out session going. accidental slobber on the ears can be bad, particularly if you're going back out in public.

Smooching isn't for everyone, but it certainly can be a great deal of fun in just about any circumstance and is a great reminder of that you're simply thinking of them.

Okay, so I have these overly romantic feelings sometimes, I'm not gay, I just happen to like romantic comedies.

Pleased to meet you. Why yes, I would love to lick your asshole.

2009-02-04T04:21:00.096-06:00

*bzz*
I don't hear you!
*bzz*
Turning over I ignore the CL phone.
*bzz-
Good they gave up. Damn "Car warranty" people.
Settling in trying to get back to some solid sleep.
*DING!*
WTF? They left a msg?
That finally caught my attention.
Grabbing the offending phone, it rings again.
It's Lauren! I haven't heard from her in several days and didn't think much of it.
"Hey sweetie! Sorry I haven't called, phone has been acting up. This is my private number to the office if you want to talk to me."
Ooo....I feel special.
It's obvious that I'm still a bit sleepy because I'm still slurring some of my words, but I was trying to shake myself awake.
"By the way...What is the party about you mentioned on your Voicemail Message?"
"Uhh...." I couldn't think of a plausible excuse.
FUCK! I forgot to change the message since last party! Might as well be honest about it, if we go forward, she might know about it and something tells me she's not exactly a nun.
I confess to some of it, but only tell her a bit, she doesn't have to know all.
We continue to talk for a bit until I finally asked if she wanted to meet tonight for coffee after work.
"SURE!" You can't get more enthusiastic than that.
"It's a date!"
"Wait! I am still recovering from a cold, I don't really wanna give it to you."
"Don't worry, it'll give you an excuse for me not to give you a peck on the cheek."
This was greeted with laughter.

Forwarding a couple of hours, I meet her in a nearby suburb of town not too far away.
After walking in, I spotted her.
Mid 40's, curvy, pleasantly plump, woman, that looked quite serious into the book she was reading.
She spotted me as I was walking toward her and her face changed into one of warmth and welcome.
We sat down and talked for awhile about a variety of things, including our mutual love for TIVO and the people we have met.

Towards the end of the conversation, she wanted to know more about the parties, as she saw me stuttering, she interrupted me. "Just say it, I'm not a virgin, you know I'm submissive, do you REALLY think you're going to say anything new to me?"
She had a point. So I continued and she was quite fascinated by it and went on to other topics.
Somehow, the conversation started its way down to sex, and I let her know I LOVE to give rimsjobs.
Her eyes glazed over, "I LOVE those."
Oh god. Here comes trouble.
I decide that it was time I need to get to work.
Walking her outside, I shake her hand, hug her, and walk off.
I felt good about this, we have chemistry.

Climbing into my car, I receive a text from her before I even start the car.
"You know, you didn't even try to kiss me. I'm hurt. Not interested?"
I smile and give her a call back and explain to her I want to be as chaste as possible.
Yeah, sounds like total bullshit, but its true.
At least, I'm going to try to convince myself that.

"So you don't find me attractive?"
Oh good lord!
In my "sexy announcer" voice, I respond:
"Oh yeah! I'd do you in a heartbeat, baby! I'd lick that asshole of yours in an instant."
Gales of laughter was coming from the phone.
"Happy?"
"Yes. Goodnight!"

Yeah, she's going to be interesting.

On a side note:
I talked to KM. We have a date for Tonight, I think she's feeling a bit randy.

"Mommy needs a drink, but I have to wait 17.5 years."

2009-02-02T12:01:00.054-06:00

"Oh HELL NO!"
I burst out laughing at IFW's (Idiots Friend's Wife) response to KM's divorce and her SIX kids.
"Guy knocks me up with six kids, he's sticking around no matter how much of an asshole he is," and gives a meaningful look to her husband, "I hate to tell you this, but I won't divorce you for at least a few years, until they are in their teens!"
The youngest of two kids is 5 months old.
Yeah, it's going to be a long marriage.
To most coworkers and outsiders in general, she seems like a down to earth, yet sophisticated and strong willed woman.
When dealing with her friends, she's the blackest white woman in the world.
I love her to pieces, but thank god she married someone else.
After being put through the inquisition about her, my lack of a dating life came up and wondered how I got by with so little female company.

If they only knew the truth.

One of my favorite quotes is, "You know, when I first met him, his home was IMMACULATE, even his bathroom. For a man, that's saying a lot. Now that I'm married to that SOB, he's a total slob. I should divorce him on the grounds of false advertisement."

Turns out a number of their friends were coming down with bugs and begged out of out of consideration of the newest infant in the household. What is normally a crowded and raucous event turned into a only a moderate riot of talk/gossip and wives being openly critical of their husbands.

Oh, yes. They really make me look forward to marriage.

KM was running late with her kids this weekend and told her not to stress about coming late or not at all.
We all had a great time even with the small crowd and lack of booze.

Which reminds me of another quote, "I can hardly wait until he (the youngest) is 18 so I can be an alcoholic again." which she looks at her infant and says,"You can drive mommy from the rest home to the bar so I can get shitfaced!"

KM was never able to make it, which doesn't surprise me, but we talked on the phone on my way home.

Why even bothering with this post?
To show I'm not all about one thing and post a few great lines.
Being drunk helps too.
Wee!

The Gayest superbowl. EVER!

2009-01-31T16:48:00.062-06:00

Late last night, while her kids were watching a movie KM, traded txt messages. The conversation basically led to toys. Turns out she never had one before, which absolutely floored me. So we're going to try to get her one....or two.
YAY! Toy Shopping!
Personally, I want to get her a rabbit and one that will stick to a floor or a wall. She had some initial reservations about the second one, but I'm sure I'll help.
Just can't get over the fact on how much of a sexual novice she is. After 17 years of marriage and SIX kids, you'd figure they'd learn a few tricks.
Apparently the affair she had (she admitted she had one, but it wasn't the cause of her Divorce) didn't teach her anything new either.

When waking up this morning, I found ANOTHER txt.
"Are you seeing other people?"
ME? See other people?
Nah!
I told her that its pretty much up to her as to whether or not I do as far as the relationship goes or not.
For some reason, she didn't seem very happy with the answer.
Whatever.

I thought I'd see how she and I would interact with other people.
Having been invited to a superbowl party by my Idiot friend (IF), there is a reason for this name, and his wife, I thought it would be a good opportunity to bring her along to meet a number of people I associate with from time to time.
Considering there are going to be mostly couples (Several gay, several lesbian, and one or two "straight" couples), it should prove to be quite interesting to see how she gets along.
Yes, it's a Gay friendly household. IF's wife is a Fag Hag and all her friends are various levels of Awesome.

I wish to predict, right here, right now, that their kids are going to grow up to be hard core Republicans.
I'm not going to be worried about not getting along with anyone, the Wife is a major foodie and her kitchen is altar to William Sonoma.
She said she doesn't know if she will make it, considering she has the kids this weekend and will drop them off at her ex at about the time the superbowl starts. Either way, I won't be particularly disappointed if she doesn't show up.

Lauren

2009-01-29T16:26:00.017-06:00

Lauren is one of the ones that answered my ad, and have been sporadically emailing each other for quite some time.
One thing that she mentioned in her initial email is her fondness of being submissive and likes that type of play.
Now that my initial hesitation on getting into the lifestyle was made, I must also state that it is important the different kinds. Before I would dismiss it outright, I wanted to know what the kinks were, but she felt (rightly so) that such things would not be in her best interest to discuss about initially.

Unfortunately, our schedules aren't very conducive to meeting, her taking night school as well as a full time job. But I have enough respect for her ethic for me to at least see if I can keep her as a friend.
Really.
Platonic.
I mean that.

For the want of an orgasm.

2009-01-27T15:56:00.145-06:00

After our initial hug, I gave her a quick kiss.
"Hi."
"HI!"
Her smile widened and quickly turned a bit roguish.
"Can a girl get something to eat before you fuck her senseless? I'm starving."
I burst out laughing and went to our now familiar IHOP across the street.

The conversation ranged to her visit with the kids, to work, to our personal lives.

We were back in our room about an hour later.
The door barely closed when started taking off our clothes and kissing each other, as she got to my pants, she looked up at me and said;
"Remember what I promised you?"
My cock twitched in anticipation.
"Yes I do."
With that, she went to work. GOD she was good, I was on the verge of cumming when I had to pull her off. I didn't want this evening to end this quickly.
Pushing her back to the edge of her bed and raised her legs, I proceeded to initially tease her.
Gently kissing her inner thighs, breathing softly over her sex while barely brushing my lips against her.
Proceeding to barely place my tongue on her clit while I breathed a bit harder, I felt her body shudder.
Continuing this torture for a couple of more minutes, I softly licked up and down the folds of her skin and dipped into her wet hole.
She then started to grab my head to push me into her, but I fought back and proceeded to continue the light touches.
Eventually, my touches grew more intense and direct after several minutes.
Diving full in, I began deeply licking her sweet pussy while gently rubbing her clit while switching places every minute or so when I would nibble her clit and finger her pussy.
I felt her first orgasm wash over her when I discovered her G-spot, concentrating on this little area, I also continued to suck her clit harder.
I continued this, fighting off her attempts to (I think) get me to stop, she let out a long scream and clamped her hands on my head, during, what I later found out, her first oral orgasm.
Ever!
Yeah, I know! I am just as surprised!
I go back up to kiss her and she eagerly kisses me while forcing me to enter her with her legs. After The look of bliss on her face was telling as i started to enter her. Pushing in all the way slowly, I just remained motionless as i I continued kissing her gently.. As she started to rotate her hips, we both fell into a nice rhythm. Fighting off the beginnings of an orgasm, I slow down, and eventually slow to a stop and start to shower her with kisses.
We continue this pattern for a bit when she gets on all fours.
A big grin appeared on my face as I moved behind her.
"Stay away from my eyes."
I was crestfallen.
"Not even a few little licks."
"No!"

Hmph. Maybe I should get her drunk next time, because I LOVE giving rimjobs.... ohwell.
I get behind her and enter her and we continue in a steadily increasing the force and tempo until she starts building up into another orgasm I can feel myself start to build into one as well.
We're sweating and out of breath, she let's out another moan and I....got nothing.
I collapse by sheer exhaustion.
"Relax. Let me," and deep throated my cock with some forceful motions.
It was simply awesome.
After about 10 minutes, I brought her up and kissed her soundly we laid down together.

"You didn't cum."
Oh shit. She had that TONE.
"I was tired."
"Do you think you couldn't because you're not into me sexually? I'm too vanilla or kinky enough for you?"
Aw, shit, for cryin' out loud!
I explained to her that the stopping and starting technique can keep me going for a considerable amount of time (which is true, sometimes for a couple of hours....which means I need to get back in shape.)
The conversation goes back and forth and puts a bit of a damper on what happened that night, but I calmed her down and we were soon sleeping soundly.

At least, that is what I told her. Considering I'm up nights, I laid there next to her with the thought that didn't even occur to me until she brought it up:

Do what we have is enough, even if she's not kinky?
I was already prepared to give up my hobby for the right woman, but am I REALLY that ready to give it up?

YOU AGAIN?!?

2009-01-26T15:36:00.000-06:00

Sitting in the hotel room by myself allows me to mentally prepare for the evening. KM is on the way after a quick shower and shave brief convo:
"You have to remember, I'm a girly girl."
"Well, don't sweat about shaving your legs,we can have romantic cricket sounds as we lay together."
The giggling betrayed the mock anger she had.
"Jerk. I'll be there in about 30 minutes."

It wasn't much of a hotel, but it was handy.
Just as I was about to semi-doze in a blissfully quiet moment; the phone rang.
"Hey sexy."
"Well, hi there! You haven't called me that in a long time!"
ANDI! My mind snapped awake.
"Hey."
"Busy?"
"Nah, I have about 20 minutes." Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! I thought she was gone!
She went on about her life and her schedule and then blamed the latest neglect of calling due to her not feeling well. I barely got in a word in edgewise."
Blah.Blah. Blah.
"Did you think of our last texts and conversations?" As I finally interrupted with the edge on my voice that I hope conveyed my annoyance.
That stopped her cold for about 30 seconds.
"Yes. Quite a bit actually. I told my mom and some girlfriends about it. Mom basically was disappointed in me. She and the girls liked you. They don't like my current boyfriend."
I had fans? Who knew?
Once again, she apologized and said she'd make it better.
"You DO realize that *I* am not calling anymore. You're the one that needs to make an effort."
"I know." her voice was quieter now.
We continued with some pleasantries for a bit longer until I heard the knock on the door.
"Gotta go, bye!"
"Can I Ca-"

I open the door and was greeted by one of the warmest hugs I have had in a long while.

I need a job

2009-01-24T15:01:00.000-06:00

Well, not really.

After a few initial responses to my ad, it seems like a number of them were turned off by my job.
It's not a sexy job, nor is it a low paying job, but I guess it's not the typical 9 to 5 job that ladies want a man to have.
So far the only ones that haven't shied away from it are KM and Lumens.
What I've been thinking of doing is telling them outright what job I have or make up a job that is REALLY bad that will see if that will dissuade them in some way.

A couple of suggestions friends have made is:

Dog Catcher
Road Kill Cleanup.
Crime Scene Cleanup
Slaughter House Dude
Tax Collector.

Yes, this all sounds lame, but then again, so are the ladies who stop writing/calling after I tell them what I do for a living.

I'm totally open to suggestions.

A moment to breathe

2009-01-24T13:33:00.000-06:00

Lumens Texted.

She had a rough day and wanted some relief.
How do you spell Relief? S-E-X.

It was a nice respite from crazy all the crazy crap I've been dealing with.
Arriving at her place in less than an hour, I show up, go through the door without knocking and make my way to the bedroom where she's lying face down nude while casually reading a magazine.
Having shed my clothes starting from the doorway, I was down to my socks.

Yeah, we men and our socks. Stop shaking your head. they're coming off anyway.

"Hi!" I said with a grin as I started climbing on the bed.
"Hey there! I am nude."
I started nibbling on her ears.
"Really? I thought it was a body sock."
That earned me a friendly punch to my waistline.
"Are you saying my skin is wrinkly?"
Where did THAT come from.
Eh. We men make stupid comments, why should this surprise me?
Distracting her with a nibble on her neck, I'm quickly forgiven as we lose ourselves and make time stand still and let our worries melt away.

When she got up for water later, she noticed my things on her coffee table.
"You have TWO phones?"
Aw shit. This can be bad.
The CL phone was buzzing with a text msg. Fucker has a loud buzz that you can hear across the room, more so its on something solid.
"Hey! Is this that new G1? Awesome! Can I see it?"
LOL. Technological ADD, I love it.
"Sure, bring it in!"
After we have our glasses of water, I show her my lifeline to the outside world and show her all the features.
She briefly saw this blog, but didn't equate it with me and didn't see the title.
It buzzed briefly in her hands and out of instinct looked at the screen.
One feature betrayed me, when a text comes in, briefly shows the msg.
"KM: I miss you. I am looking forward to Sunday." I winced.
"Who's that and what's on sunday?" She casually asked.
"Someone I might be dating. We don't know yet. We're going on a date."
"You're looking for a relationship?"
Uh-oh.
"Umm...yeah." I mentally start tracking down my clothes and casually grab my phone for a quick getaway. You know, just in case.
"Does she swing too?"
I'm not entirely sure where this convo is going, so I hedge.
"She might be open to it." If she's drunk, I didn't add.
"Is she cute?"
"I think so."
"Are you thinking of dating me too?"
Aw shit! I can't lie, it would be cruel if I did and I already took her for the test drive.
"I thought about it, yes. But I don't think we would be a good match."
"I see."
I look at her closely, I can almost feel my heart beating through my chest and beads of sweat are ready to pour out.

"Yeah, you're a great guy, but I don't think we would be good together. I hope it works out with you too."
With that, she proceeds to snuggle with me again.

I take a moment to breathe and savor a moment to relax.

Got a Moment?

2009-01-24T13:01:00.002-06:00

We're still on last week, like I said, it's been busy.

Life is full of moments.
We're constantly racing around with our daily lives, hustling too and fro for appointments that are incredibly important. To us, anyway.
From the morning we wake up in the mornings, to the time we go to sleep, We can be constantly on the run.
Even our sleep is sometimes haunted by things we think we forgot.
It is sleep we try to find refuge from our daily lives, and yet we run in our sleep.

I was stopped cold at work as my phone buzzed at its too familiar texting sound.

KM: "Got a moment?"
Not really.
ME: "Hey. What's up."
KM: "Busy tonight?"
I look over my schedule and it's jam packed. I packed it myself. Been trying to keep busy since Andi is apparently gone. It's the only way to stop missing her and I don't want to miss her.
Me: "A bit."
I'm still fairly pissed at her.
KM: "I have some time. Wanna meet for breakfast?"
I blink at the phone. She should be in bed, it's 1am!
Me: "Shouldn't you be asleep?"
KM: "Probably. But you're more important right now. IHOP?"
IHOP.
You know, every woman is different, but the peculiarities on how people handle things is. Some want Waffle House, some want Denny's. Others want some local 24 hour joints.
She wants IHOP.
Me: "When?"
KM: "When are you available?"
I make my left turn....from the far right lane, across 3 lanes.
Me: "I'm driving there now. 10 minutes."

I get there early and I flirt with the waitress.
Because I'm feeling a little cheeky, give her this blog address. I don't tell her it's mine. Now that she's reading it, she'll know who it is.

KM walks in with a smile on her face.
We talked for about an hour talking about things and reaffirming if we're ok and apologizing profusely.
"You know, I do want you to possess my body again."
I gagged on my water.
"But just to make certain there are no misunderstandings, I do not want to be passed around to other guys," she threw in before I recovered and started to cough profusely.
"Deal" I squeaked.
"Sunday? I'll get back from dropping the kids off and I'll give you a blowjob you'll never forget."
What? Last time wasn't her best?!? WTF?
She continued, "Maybe I'll see if I can do some of those things sober this time."
With that, I paid the bill and walked out to her car for a quick smooching session before she had to sleep and I had to go to work.
Holy shit!

So Long Andi...

2009-01-21T17:34:00.000-06:00

It's amazing how much of my life is ruled by email or texting.

While running around at work one night last week I get a text msg.

Andi: "Hi. Sorry I haven't called. Been busy."
Me: "so have I."
Andi: "Just wanted to let you know that I miss talking to you, I've been very busy."
Me: "I know. Been thinking about what we discussed last time?"
Andi: "Yes. I want you back in my life, my family asks about you from time to time."
Me:"Well, give my regards."
Andi:"Sorry I didn't call the other night when you said you were available, but I had fallen asleep."
To be fair, the conversation happened at 3 in the morning.
Me:"I figured. But time has passed."
Silence for 10 minutes.
Andi:"I have to go. My number is __________ Call me?"
Me:"No. You call me. I'm done calling to find you're too busy."

That was the last I heard from her 4 days ago. It was another tough goodbye.

These are getting to be tiresome.

A date with Lumens....

2009-01-20T15:10:00.000-06:00

Lumens and I talked briefly and decided to have a dinner date last week.
Well, it wasn't really much of a dinner.
I picked up some Gyros on the way to her place.
Really wasn't much of a date, either; we picked at our food talking until it was decided we needed to go the bedroom after only 10 minutes.
Nothing really earth shattering, just a nice relaxing romp.
Later on, we were simply lying there while I was reviewing emails on my phone when we talking about future party details. She talked about her fantasies, future party possibilities, and other things in everyday life.
While the sex was satisfying, it just reaffirmed my decision to simply have her as a party girl and not as one for dating.
Fortunately, she was cool with the situation as it was.

Pity about the Gyros, though. I was hungry.

Jumping through hoops? Nah.

2009-01-19T14:53:00.004-06:00

I have gotten quite a few responses from my little ad, but a few were just asking for too much.

One I shall mention is SW:

SW seemed like a charming women, about my age and immediately started talking and sent her a photo. The three photos she sent made her seems whimsical and seemed to have a sunny disposition, including a bodyshot of her in a dress which, I assume was going on a night out. The photo I usually send is a recent one from a trip to New York on a weekend trip that included a Yankees game (Yes, I travel to other cities for games.), but it also shows me slightly inebriated, but still a good photo. We chatted for a bit and finally sent her my number.

Before she would call, she demanded a SOBER photo, so I hunted the only recent photo there was of me sober. Almost the exact same pose, but during the daytime (about half an hour before the drinking started).

Then she asked for a full bodyshot like I the one she had sent me.
Again, I don't take photos of myself and any photos I DO have are in the possession of friends. I was a bit peeved about this, I searched through my files. I literally have THOUSANDS of photos and eventually found a full body shot of me about six years ago in a Tux in which I was a few tons lighter.

No.

If she wants to talk to me, she can do it on the photos I gave her. The sunny disposition she had showed initially, to me, showed that she was someone who didn't trust people's pictures and won't meet them until she knows what they look like.
Now, granted, I don't think it's unreasonable, but if I don't have a photo, I just don't have a photo.
Yes, I can go to the bathroom and take a new one, but it'll suck.

Nice knowin' ya SW.

Another infuriating email I have received by a girl that just had one sentence:

"Can I see your photo first?"

WTF? No "Hi?", no other preamble what-so-ever?

Good lord, ladies!

The stars aligned...

2009-01-19T01:38:00.001-06:00

Quite a bit happened this week. Got some really whacked out responses and a few twists in some of the emails I received.
KM called up for another chance to make up for last weekend, and I couldn't help but accept, but more about that, and other stuff, in a later post.

The thing I wanted to talk about how, for some reason, my mind is shifting to "Wanting a relationship" mode.
Yes, my mind is shifting a bit TOO much into it.
Yes, I want a "We", but I don't want to become blind to the realities of dating.
Actually, I need to rephrase that, more like the "Dangers" of dating.
It happens to all of us in some form once we have an objective in mind. We have a tendency to develop a sense of tunnel vision that filters all other things out to our detriment.
When I'm looking for people for my parties, I don't think about the peripheral stuff. I don't care what issues aside their being mentally stable/reliable enough to handle some adult fun.
When you're focused on trying to find someone for a "Relationship", the focus has to change a bit. You have to widen your idiot/geek/psycho/trekkie/psychic/SCA enthusiast detector to a more sensitive setting.
Basically, you have to look at a person as a total package and I think I have been too much of a dumbass to reset those parameters in my head.

I kept thinking how I am not acting like my rational self. I'm not blowing off women who are in the least bit flakey like I normally would. So for those 3 people that have been reading my idiot mistakes, I apologize. On my way to my date, this is what was going through my head as I was going to the restaurant.
Generally when I walk anywhere, I take in everything that is going on around me.
Bits of conversation.
Sounds of traffic. (lest I get run over)
See various people are doing.
What struck me was that I had just turned behind an elderly couple. Initialy I dismissed them as I kept pace behind them (I wasn't in a hurry, and I didn't want to rush them), but the more I looked, the more I was envious.
They were at least in their late 70, walking hand in hand. It was the hand holding that really got me. It wasn't the "don't fall behind" grasp, but a tender touch that they both took pains to maintain.
As I got in closer, it became more obvious on movie they had watched and were having a deep discussion about it. As they turned to where their car was parked, I faintly heard, "My life would be empty without you."
I WANT that. I want someone to be old with!
They kept on their perpendicular path and the husband looked at me. Apparently surprised I was so close behind them.
He nodded his head at me in greeting and I smiled back.
I wiped the mist from my eyes (I can be an old softy and romantic), and continued on my way
Deciding that if this didn't work, made myself promise this was the last shot she had.

A new posting.....a step forward

2009-01-13T15:42:00.000-06:00

After KM's little Sunday meeting fiasco, I figured it was time to start moving on, so I put up a new ad that said the following:

I am a SHM41 looking for some, but not all the attributes listed.

SF, 36-45. Can be HWB or "pleasantly plump."
(Pleasantly plump is about 70lbs over)
As you guessed, personality is more important to me.

Play chess
Enjoy/tolerate baseball
Able to talk about a wide variety of subjects with an open mind.
Is able to adjust to a wide variety of situations.
Be able to be calm under pressure.
Self assured and is able to tell me to shut up occasionally.
Kids OK.
Previous line meant that you HAVE kids, not that kids write me.
Knowledgeable about current events.
Politically flexible. No far right or left wingers.
Not be shy in many aspects of a relationship.
Have more kinks than a cheap gold chain.
Non judgemental.
Is a better speller than I am.
Enjoys going to movies and other activies.
Must be able to blow me away with a look.

Perfect (and otherwise) women apply within.

Aside from the fact that I typed this up at from my car over a period of 3 hours, I didn't think it was half bad. I remembered a key phrase that I used consistantly years ago. In fact, anyone that I know that reads this phrase will instantly know its me, but since my friends have gone to the four winds years ago, I'm not worried.

It's not like I use the phrase in everyday conversation, hence the small change in the blog.

2 hours later, I have gotten several replies, after a meeting or so, I'll mention them on here later.

While editing this post, KM texted me. I'll post about that later.

What? What? NO!

2009-01-11T20:46:00.001-06:00

MINUTES after I posted my last entry, while I am reaching for my fourth glass of wine, the phone buzzes and scared the shit out of me.
KM's picture is grinning at me as the phone cheerfully announces that she is on the other side.
Taking a deep breath, I muster total calm. Complete calm. Inhale.
Breathe.

"Hi, Sweetie!"
"Are you mad at me?" Did my tone give it away?
"Well, I AM a bit peeved." Fuck it. Gotta be honest.
"Why?" WHY? She asks WHY??
"Because you left me hanging, I didn't know what was going on." Again. Be honest.
Okay, everything is on the table.
Let's roll the dice.
"Well, I was busy with the kids and..." She continued for several minutes...Until I finally had to interrupt.
"Look, I understand SIX kids can be a handful. I get it, I just wished you could have simply told me what was going on."
"I know. I suck. I'm really bad about that."
"That's all I ask. Keep me informed."
"I know, I suck at that." If she knows that, why can't she correct it?
"So, where at you at now?"
"Home."
"Oh, I guess you wouldn't want to hang out with me, being irritated and all."
"No. Not irritated. Peeved. Difference."
"Oh?" C'mon! I don't wanna' parse words!
"Yes. Peeved."
"Well, if you're peeved at me, you probably wouldn't want to be with me tonight."
What? What? No! I'll be with you tonight! Really!
"Whatever you wish to do, doll. I am at your service."
"Well, let me take care of things here and I'll let you know." FUCK! WOMAN! Make a decision!!, "Besides, I'm not showered, I've been up all day..."
My hopes for tonight are being squashed by a ton of excuses.
"You DO know they have showers in hotels, if that is what you want to do." Okay. that came out snarky, but, whatever.
"I know, I...well, I don't know what to do tonight." You want to be with me! I'll hold your hand! I'll massage your feet! I just want to spend time with you!
"Well, whatever you feel comfortable with, I'm okay." Total lie. I'll sulk like a kid if I don't see her.
"Okay, well, I'll call you back."

ARGH!
Oh good lord!
As I'm opening up my 2nd bottle, I hear my phone buzz and I'm immediately tempted to throw it down the garbage disposal.
I read the text message and I almost lose it:

"Let's skip tonight. I am really not good company."

My reaction is a bit more childish I've thought I'd be. I throw every pillow and cushion within reach.
After a couple of minutes, I sit on my now, VERY uncomfortable couch with my cat begging to be scratched.

So much for having a little Pussy and now I'm incredibly drunk.

Text Messaging Hell

2009-01-11T19:11:00.001-06:00

Why am I here? Here is the answer:

At 4pm, I go to a bar near where I had hoped we would either have our dinner, a movie, or straight to our Hotel.

Since I didn't know exactly when she was going to drop the kiddos off, I figure I'd send her a quick text to say Hi and see how she is doing:

"Hey, Doll."
"How are you?"
"Good now that you answered. :) Wassup? Dinner? Movie? Both?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Uh-oh
"I am just teasing, silly."
"Ah. Do what you think is best." Okay, sounds reasonable. Idiot comment neutralized.
"What I think is best is better with you at my side." Didn't really care what we did, I just wanted her near me.
"Oh Lord." Yeah, I expected that response. Hopefully she cracked a smile at my lame line.
"What? :)"
"You probably just want me to say we can skip all the preliminaries and get right to the sex." While I would not mind it, the tone did NOT sound good.
"I'm totally agreeable to what you want." I took a moment to analyze the sentence to make sure there was no stupidity in there somewhere, but I was getting peeved at the remark.
"Whatever is fine." Fine? Danger! Oh shit. How did I fuck this up?
I go back to re-read what I sent and everything looked fairly free of male stupidity.
"Fine. If you're hungry, dinner. If not, perhaps a movie. If you're not in the mood, I'll do hand puppets."
Reading the statement over again. Flexible overtones with a hint of humor. Okay.
"Just sex is great. That is what you want anyway." WTF? HOW did THAT happen?
"Oh? Didn't realize I was twisting your arm. LOL. When am I going to be graced with your presence?"
FUCK! I hit send before I could edit it!
"I do not know. I am in a crappy mood." What The-?
I sit stunned looking at the phone. I briefly ponder asking the bartender for a whiskey, but think better of it.
There is no point. I beat a hasty retreat:
"I'm sorry. Want to blow it off today or just hang out." See? no sex. No mention of sex! nothing!
"Do not know yet." OH COME ON! I realized a few seconds later that everyone in the bar was looking at me. I guess I said it out loud. VERY loudly.
"K. Going to work for awhile. Hope you feel better, Doll."
I waited for two drinks for a response. Nothing.
ARGH!
I calmly get up, and decide on some grocery shopping. It was due.
As I get out of the car, the SAME homeless guy I see everytime I go to the store is about to ask me for money.
He never remembers me.
"WHAT THE FUCK? Don't you know I NEVER give you money? If I come back with some cocaine will you do me a favor and suck it up so you'll just DIE?", I said it at the top of my voice.
Yeah, maybe I was a bit tense. I immediately start driving home and at the light I squeeze off a text:
"On my way home, Doll. Call me later if you feel better."
Two hours passed since I got a txt from her to the time I sent her that one.

'Scuse me while I go kill some innocent pillows.

Sunday, make it or break it?

2009-01-11T11:07:00.000-06:00

You know, I'm am entirely too nervous for this. This is a DATE, an actual date!
Ever since I've gone on my little quest, I've been startled on how difficult it is. I mean, C'MON! What woman wouldn't WANT a guy that wants to (potentially) put aside a a lifestyle he's known for years.

As KM so gently put it, I AM pervert. To ask exposing one of my favorite sayings, "I have more kinks than a cheap gold chain."

But I want to DATE this girl, I LIKE this girl, six kids? No biggie, I've been a father before, it's easy to hide bodies.
I AM kidding. Really.
Okay, so we have had a few bumps in the road, a few twists, and some misunderstandings, but since our last talk, I feel confident that we can go ahead and start dating. I mean, get I HOPE she's into me, but women have a mind of their own, so only time will tell.

So right now, sitting on my couch, I am sweating like the male chauvinistic pig people think I am, freshly shaven, putting on a nice shirt and pants. I am SCARED out of my mind. Looking at it objectively, its funny as hell.
I KNOW we're going to a hotel, I KNOW we're going to have sex. So why am I am rambling on a blog that maybe three people read once a week, that I'm nervous as shit?
I mean, C'mon! I've had some doozy encounters with people I haven't met before in which I didn't really have to do much to get laid, but I don't think people at NASA put this much thought into their shuttle as I am putting on this "date".
In fact, can it be considered a date, or is it an "extended booty" call.

Fuck! I feel like such a girl about this shit.

A day with Lumens was enlightening

2009-01-09T04:11:00.000-06:00

Today, I decided that Lumens and I were going to go out, I blew off our plans on Tuesday, so I could spend more time with KM, which turned into a bizarre late dinner, but it worked out all the same.
This was to be awesome sex, followed by a lovely dinner, followed by more fantastic sex.
We made tentative plans for today and she called me as I was heading out the door to pretend to work.
"So are you heading over?"
"For Sex, food, Sex?"
"Yeah, but I haven't eaten lunch and I'm starving, do you mind if we eat first?"
"Sure. Not a problem."
Looking at the Hell that is Rush Hour in Houston, I told her 40 minutes.
We get there and I walk into her modest home, which is in the same Neighborhood where The Psycho Bitch is. She invites me in for a moment to finish getting ready.
GOOD LORD! You had 40 minutes!
Women.
Fortunately, all she had to do is change her blouse, put on some lipstick.
As I take in her surroundings, my eye focused on one thing.
A bong.
Not a big bong, but a bong. I chose to ignore that bit, but I kept it to myself.
She was just about to apply her lipstick when the words, that struck me speechless were, "I'll be outside in a moment, I'm going to take a few hits first."
I went outside to bring the car around and she joined me a couple of minutes later.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am NOT a prude by any stretch of anyone's imagination. I respect everyone's methods for relaxation, but drugs isn't one.
Okay, it's only pot. So I blew it off, so to speak.

When dinner came around, the conversation was bland.
Very bland.
Oh. My. God, Bland.
I kept thinking, that the sex would be worth it.

After we went back, she we chit-chatted a bit. My brain slowly went to sleep. I almost had a male version of a triad moment as to whether or not this is worth it.

As we started head over to the bedroom, she started to get undressed and I followed her lead. Up until she grabbed her BEDSIDE BONG!

Now, my lying nude next to a woman that is also nude may not bring warm fuzzy feelings to you, but imagine my irritation as she proceeded to take a few hits from that.
At least she was kind enough to offer, but I passed.

The sex wasn't as special as I remembered it. The Intensity of our bodies weren't there. Turns out she even loved anal!
Nope. Not enough.

After a few hours, I found myself in the car, wishing that I could shower the date away.

So much for her being dating material. I decided that perhaps she wasn't the ideal person I was thinking of.

Maybe I'll just invite her to my parties, or whatever, but I don't think we'd be a good match afterall.

Bummer, but whatever, I just hope KM works out.

Tuesday Mixups and talks. C'mon Sunday!

2009-01-07T14:52:00.000-06:00

Having been worried with the potential of having Lumens with me on a date (an extended sexual romp, actually, but whatever.), I decided to put off meeting with her and just deal with KM, since the chemistry is so there for us. Besides, Lumens and I can virtually meet whenever, and I consider time with KM a bit more of a rare commodity.
Ten minutes after I hung up the phone with Lumens, KM called, figuring she'd tell me what time she wanted to meet tonight:
"Hey!" Uh-oh. It's THAT tone.
"Hey sweetie, wassup?"
"The shipment is really screwed up. Can't make tonight. I'm sorry." I can hear commotion in the background of people running around.
"Don't worry about it." Was all I could muster, but I knew work had a tendency to be hellish at times.
"How about Sunday night at 6? I am totally yours, you can use me as you will." She said between telling people what to do and asking another question of someone.
"How can I resist such an offer. Deal. I'll even take you on a date and see a movie."
"A Date? What's that? I would LOVE a movie." Listen, I have to go, you're not mad at me, are you?"
"Nah." As long as we have a firm schedule in place. We're cool.
As long as she KEPT it, that is.
"Great! Just have to drop off the kids and my body is yours." I heard a massive crash of something hitting the floor, "Gotta go! Bye!" and immediately hung up.

Well, my plans for today is totally shot.
Business was exceedingly slow to the point I was playing with a game on my G1 for a couple of hours.

10pm passes by when my phone rings:
"Hey baby, just got home, I was able to finish early, and about to hit bed."
"Aw, poor baby, if I would have known you left early, I would have taken you to late snack."
"I AM starving.....maybe meet for a few minutes? IHOP?"
"Sure!" We needed to have "The Talk" we never got around to.
At 11:08pm, I got the "On my way", TXT."
We arrived within minutes of each other and as we sat down, my heart started racing.
Yes. I REALLY missed her and was anxious to have some face time with her.
Having held hands for a moment, she realized she needed start "The Talk."
"First off, you're a pervert." She begins.
"Yes I am." was my deadpan response.
"I don't know if I can handle that."
"Handle what?" Was curious, of course.
"You like quite a few things."
"Yes I do." If she only knew.
"I don't think you'd be satisfied with JUST ME."
"Well, if things go well with us, you won't have to worry about that." I truly meant it.
Basically, she was saying that she wasn't sure she would be interested in multiple sex partners, Adult Bookstores, etc.

See, I left out quite a bit during our little romp, including talking about going to an adult bookstore (which SHE suggested!) to have sex (since she didn't want to be seen as a "Ho'" to her roomie), but she was barefoot, so I nixed that idea. Or, talking VERY dirty to her in the middle of fingering her ass during an intense orgasm which included, wondering if she wanted another cock to play with (which she was VERY open to), or my doing a "break in" one night. Nor did I mention her walking out of the house nude, except for my trench coat and going to a nearby grocery store because she neede cream.
Yes, make your own jokes.
According to her now, she can barely recall getting in my car, but has vague memories of being VERY turned on by the experience.
I confirmed this by our makout session in the car afterwards that I reminded her about. Her face turned VERY red at that point.

To reassure her, I told her that I would go at her pace on whatever she wanted to do WHEN she wanted to do it. She would dictate what/who would be in bed with us.

Did I mention I could be VERY pursuasive? No? I can be.

We also talked about communications, or lack of it.
I gave some examples of what I expected. Don't need an immediate response to every text, but merely an acknowledgement of it...eventually.
She mentioned that since she's with her kids, things can be crazy. I assured her that I knew how kids can teleport if you don't pay attention to them.
"Yeah, three of them are great about that, but the three older ones are generally good about keeping an eye on them when I have all of them."
I stopped mid-chew.
"I thought you had five?"
"No. Six."
"Where'd I get five?"
"Don't know, because I woudn't say five."
Okay. She has six kids. Did I mention she looks AWESOME for the number of kids she has had? No. Tkae my word for it.
"See? That's a good example!"
"I see your point."

We discussed quite a few things, and again, we resolved some other issues, our waitress got an earful of good gossip.

We both got up and left hand in hand towards her car, stealing kisses all along the way. She didn't want to leave, nor did I WANT her to leave, so we sat there trading little kisses, bites to the neck, making suggestive remarks, and playing with her VERY satiny and elastic pants like she wore several weeks ago. The suggestion of our going to my car to recreate things almost left my lips, but she had a long day ahead of her and she needed her sleep.
Leaving seconds behind her and kept her in my view until she took her exit and I continued on.

I was missing her already, but was more optimistic in our dating potential and there is always sunday. :)

Suddenly, I have OPTIONS??

2009-01-06T02:58:00.000-06:00

the CL phone rings on a very boring, cold, and dreary evening here.
"HI, sweetie! Remember me? We spent a little time together at the hotel on Saturday."
LUMENS! How appropriate that she would bring a little sunshine to my day!
"Hey, how're you doing, Doll?"
We continued BSing for a few minutes on how her day went, when out of the blue:
"You know, I was wondering if we can have some time together Tomorrow, if you're not busy."
Business was practically dead and my schedule was enormously flexible.
"Same Hotel? When?"
"I get off work at 4, say, 6pm?"
"Sounds like a date!"
We continued talking about lousy the weather was supposed to be over the next couple of days.
I didn't care, it was going to be sunny for me and it was looking to be a good week. At least on the sex and potentially, relationship side. We got along fairly well, the sex seemed right, but the personality didn't quite mesh. But I figure that we could spend some time to know each other, we can figure that out in short order. She was open to dating or swinging together.
I get a text from KM, apologizing about not replying to my text msgs of, "How's my pretty, pretty princess?" but that she was literally putting out fires at work. We txt a few things and suddenly no response.
Whatever. Typical of her not respond to txt msgs and, quite frankly, sick of her not following up on her communicating like she promised.

Allow me to backtrack a bit:
Over the past few weeks, I've been sending her with txt messages once or twice a day of "Hi!", "MOO!", and just plain silly things to acknowledge me in some way.
I rarely know when she's at work and I know she's busy enough AT work to not talk to me on the phone. So I was hoping to get the occasional "Miss you" or whatever.
After a week or so, I finally called and confronted her about it. I wanted to know if she fully intended to just blow me off or what.
Her response threw me off:
"I know. I suck. I'm bad at communicating. I get so involved at work and with the kids (just found out they had *5!* of which her ex has sole custody, but didn't elaborate on custody issues.) when they're in town, I just focus on that!"
Being a single father (she's in college now), I didn't blame her and felt terrible.
I told her that we'll give January a shot to DATE and see if we're for real or not, December is a month with craziness of Holiday Parties, family, kids home from school, etc.
She readily agreed to the terms and PROMISED she would at least text me a "HI" from time to time.

Back to tonight (last night, whatever), my night droned on a slow business night, I had booked the hotel, fully intending to spend only a few hours.
No sooner had I finished reservations is when my phone rang.
KM! it was 11:15pm? What was she doing up?
"Sorry! My phone battery died and I didn't have a charger in the car!"
"Hey, it happens." Granted, mostly to her, but again, 'Whatever.' For all I know it's an excuse.
"Your 'Princess' txt really made my day, though!"
I said a few choice words that escaped my lips and I heard her wince.
"I deserved that. Can I see you tomorrow night?"
"Sure! Meet where? Waffle house or something for a quick snack before you go to bed?" I totally forgot about Lumens.
"That sounds good. If everything works out...maybe 11pm?"
Okay, that means my ending my date with Lumens early, but I'm okay with that. It's mostly sex.
Hell, if things go well, I'll just beg my way out for an hour or so, meet up with KM and then go back to the room.
Brilliant!
"Awesome. 11pm it is!"
"Maybe we can sneak over to my House for a bit? I REALLY want to make it up to you. But I can't promise the time, might be early or late. We're expecting a shipment in."
Uh-oh.
"Umm....Sure."
FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!
"Great! I'll Text you what time."
We hung up and suddenly I'm terrified.
I COULD proceed with my date with Lumens, end it a bit early, shower, and meet up with KM....
But that would only leave a few hours with Lumens....
No guarantee that KM would keep her appointment....
Lumens is promising, but currently I REALLY like KM.
KM SEEMS to be trying to make it work....
Lumens is okay with dating and swinging....
Suddenly, I'm feeling a little "Skeezy." Maybe KS was right afterall.