Well, I haven't heard from KS since the night of the party. I did some initial texting, but I just gave up. If you can't even answer a simple text, there is no point in pursuing it anymore.. Seems like I'm too "Skeezy" for her after all.
Pity. We could have had quite a bit of fun together.
KM has been texting me a bit more and has been apologetic and grateful that I'm "waiting" for her while she puts her priority on her work to get re-established in her career.
Don't really think I'm "waiting" for her, but I'm keeping my options open until she has "time" to date. I know we both have insane schedules, but I wouldn't mind seeing her once a week or so and have a dinner and movie date.
I'll be there for her once she has time to date if I'm still available, but I'm not waiting. In the meantime, I'm wishing her luck in her goals, particularly if I'm one of them.
Meanwhile earlier a couple of weeks ago, I reach over to my phone and realize I got a text from a girl ("Andi") whom I really liked, but in the midst of a date, she decided she only liked me as a "friend." Considering she was in another city, I cut of all ties. There wasn't any point in my spending tons of time on a person who is only going to be a "friend" when I want so much more. So after I boarded the plane, I didn't text, didn't call. Nothing.
I worked hard for this "relationship" and if she was serious, she needed to contact me.
Nothing in almost a full year.
After a few minutes, I received a call and she wanted to know if I came through the hurricane alright. I appreciated that I was still in her thought and I was cordial, but it took all my emotional strength to keep from asking "Why didn't you call? Did I mean so little to you? From 4 hour phone calls to NOTHING in a day?!?"
I wanted to ask so may questions, but the distance and time past was too great.
Once again, my heart was breaking the longer I talked to her.
Eventually she stopped answering my calls and texts.
Fuck you.
I was close to falling in love and looked forward to a life together.
We were compatible in almost every way.
No. Fuck you!
Once again, I deleted her number from my phone log, text messages, and any evidence in my life of her.
Last Wednesday, I got a approval request on one of my IM's and accepted it assuming it was someone I was expecting.
Suddenly a few days later I realize that perhaps it MIGHT be her. the profile gave me no information and to my horror I saw it sign in. But the name was just enough that it gave clues that it was her.
FUCK!
Why can't they just LEAVE??
Posts
My position on ... positions
5 years ago
They never really leave. They always think about you. Talk about you. Write about you. But you are never gone from their minds. As much as we say that we are "forgetting" someone and moving on, it never really happens - on either side. No matter what the level of relationship is, it stays with you.
ReplyDeleteI hope there is something cool behind all of this. Just be careful of your heart. Don't give it away too quickly.