Saturday, November 6, 2010

Wedding betrayal.

Things have been going well overall, so everything is perfectly boring, which is just fine with me.
I even got the oldest a musical instrument since I figure it would be something to distract him from some of the bad influences he's been involved with and had taken to the instrument immediately.

Meanwhile, issues with my own kid seem to have gotten a but more exciting; it seems that she is interested in getting married.
While I am a realist about this sort of thing,i was a bit peeved about not waiting until she's finished with her undergraduate degree.

Fine. I'll get over it, but secretly I was thrilled. He's a fine young man with ambition and certainly has potential.

While discussing potential dates, she commented that *I* wasn't going to walk her down the isle.

I was devastated.
I was angry.

She comments to me that she wanted to walk herself down the isle, because she felt she was always an adult. Needless to say that I wasn't thrilled by that statement.

It was later when FF, who had joined her facebook page, asked her the reasoning behind her choices. It basically came down that the tradition was stupid and just because I was raised in the last "millennium" that didn't mean that she had to follow them.

It was at this point when I decided that I can't count on her to take care of me in my old age as I have done with her grandmother, an unspoken expectation and tradition within the family.
It was at this point that I decided I need to look after my own interests and let heer pay her own way thru college, as I have been paying her tuition in cash up until now.
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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Rebirth of a blog

This blog, I think will take a bit of a new turn, while it seems that I'm in a relationship that continues to grow, this blog, like people, has to grow as well.
I will start including more of family/relationship and as well the children. As usual, I will take great pains to disguise details as much as possible so people won't put two and two together. 

Will I be deleting the previous posts?
No.  The posts are about who I was at the time, and this will show a chronological sense of my journey from someone single, to someone that isn't.

Will this alter my other blog?
Hardly, but it will change a bit.  FF's role will increase on there and will participate, or even arrange the parties and perhaps even talk about some of her CL adventures on here.

Will FF know about the blogs?
No.  Period.  If anything, I will have to find a creative way to hide this blog from my histories once the inevitable merging occurs.

Will sex be mentioned on here?
As it was previously, no.   But the various topics ABOUT sex and what couples go through will be talked about.

What else will be mentioned on here?
For starters, my relationship with FF her friends and family, as well as my own.  
Expect a bit more drama as well, particularly between me, her kids and my own child as we all go through a transition of sorts.  While mine is away in college, she is feeling a bit of a need to extend her own independence at the expense of any feelings I may have on the various topics.

Updates

I know it has been quite some time since I have updated.
Truth be told, nothing of significance has occurred until recently.  It seems that I will be adding some new characters to my lineup:
  • Kiddo, as you know is my..well, college child and has been mentioned in passing.
  • "James", is her oldest.  Obnoxious kid that is trying to find himself, so I kinda' cut him a little slack.  It seems like he's well on his way on being a world class douchebag as he gets older*, but I'll work on that.
  • Rabbit, is a younger sister a couple of years younger.  She's also trying to find herself in that awkward stage.  I hate to say it, but she's not that bright. ("14+7=24, right?")
  • Tommy, who is the youngest.  He acts and thinks like a typical child of his age, so I give him quite a bit of slack, much to FF's dismay.


This past weekend, we stayed at a hotel in Downtown to simply enjoy each others company (Read: fuck our brains out) and had a chance to actually move beyond the drivel we normally talk about and started getting into some other more meaningful topics.
I think we're about to move into a bit of the next stage.  No, "I love you's" were exchanged, but I think it is safe to say they were implied.
We got the big "Swinger" topic out of the way and is willing to play up to a point, but I will get to that later.

The weekend ended well, we were happy and content** and all was right with the world.
But there was one slight thing that kinda' happened before the weekend.
Katy and I have been talking, but nothing serious and I will touch upon that in the OTHER blog.
Then this past friday, Stella mentioned that she was moving into town.  The conversation I can't really share, but I pretty much told her that I'm off the market, but I didn't tell her if FF OK's it, that's another story..

As FF and I are talking and I'm giving her the heads up and history of stella, my phone buzzes with an incoming email.

Andi.

Do these girls have impeccable timing or what?

* C'mon, you know the assholes, douchebags, and jerks you know now had to come from SOMEWHERE.
**You know you had a good weekend when your cock is sore. 

Monday, March 1, 2010

Circling the drain...

The past few weeks have been amazingly troubling and busy, and because of it our time together has shrunk considerably.
Forgive me if this is a bit more rambling than usual, but some details can't be spoken about due to the unusual facets of it.

The lack of time together has been because of conflicting schedules; mine is work, and hers is with her children.
That was expected from the get go and I was good about it.

Lately, there has been some troubles regarding her older son (still a teen) who seems to have had some disciplinary problems.  
It's nothing that my child has hasn't done, but she was smart enough to not get caught and has straightened out.

However, her child HAS been caught in the past and is now facing a charge that is something that could stick with him beyond his childhood years.

The thing that angers me the most is that he STILL doesn't get how serious it is.
While this may sound very selfish, I have a feeling this will also affect the little dating time FF and I are able to accomplish.
It is this fact along with other concerns that have been driving me a little crazy.
I know kids eventually will fly straight, my kid has, but it's just a reminder of the trials and heartaches that raising a child can be.  
Knowing what is ahead terrifies me, but I feel that I have an advantage of "been there, done that" parenting wise, but to say that it is a bit disconcerting is to put it mildly.

To have her crying trying to say that she  "don't want you to think I raise bad kids" while she's on the verge of totally losing it just makes me wonder if I should pull the plug on this or not.

Friday, February 19, 2010

When does this parenting thing end?

I was at a the world series watching the Astros.
Just got my hotdog, IF is next to me holding a couple of big beers and I have a slight buzz.
To make it even better, a couple of sexy ladies and I were chatting up a bit and things seemed quite promising.
VERY promising.

A loud annoying noise seems to come through the intercom.

I ignore it and the game is about to start and a possible 3some afterward seemed to be hanging in the air.

The noise came again.

I pried open my eyes and realized it was all a dream and reached for the annoying noise which was coming from my phone.

"Hey Dad."
I mumble something in return.
"Asleep? It's almost noon!"
"I work nights, dear. Remember? How much do you want this time?"  I do a mental check of my bank account and hoping she has some mercy.
"Daaaaad, who is ?" I still miss being called "Daddy."
"Who?" I start to wake up..the name sounded familiar...but not quite right.
".  She just asked to be join my facebook."
"Oh...that must be FF."
"She said something about being your girlfriend."
Uh-oh.
"Yes. She is. What's wrong?"
"Nothing.  Never known you to have a girlfriend that you introduced to me before on facebook. By the way, how did she know where to look?  You're not on facebook."
I weave a story of mystery of how she told me the name of the book and happen to mention it to her.
"I see."  I can feel lazer beams coming out at me. "Did you meet HER kids yet?"
"Yes, I did."
"And?"
"Well, it was interesting.  Didn't know if they were okay with me and haven't met them again."
"Just so you know, it's kinda' tough seeing your parents date for the first time."
I was stunned at this, considering I have been single for almost her entire life...

We went on like this for a bit, talking on how her friend's parents were divorced and the ensuing dating issues that came up.  I paraded quite a few women in front of her, but usually I was in a "serious" relationship at the time.  Nothing TOO scandalous.

"You okay with all this?" I finally got around to asking.
"Dad. You've dated more women than quite a few people I've known and those are jut the ones I know about!  You've never discussed your dating or sex life with me, and for that, I'm eternally grateful."
That wasn't so hard!
"Then we're good?"
"Sure are Dad. One thing, though."
"Yes?"
"Since you mentioned she just got divorced, do you think she's ready?"
That's what I love about my kiddo. No filter.
"Not sure yet." I didn't mention my other concerns yet, "Is that it?"
"If you still want to send me money, I'm good with that too."
"I love you, bye."
"Bye dad."


Hopefully she won't spoil my chances, believe it or not, she blocked me once.  But that's another story for another time.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Concerns and Questions...

Been meaning to put these thoughts down for at least a few weeks, but as is typical for me, only an illness that has kept me home provided me the time to be able to allow myself some quiet time to collect my thoughts.

Things have been progressing quite well with FF and I,  however, a few minor things keep creeping up in the back of my mind that just nibble at me:

One thing is our conversations.  They're a bit too simplistic and quite...pedestrian.  All we seem to talk about are our jobs, sex, and kids.   Not that there is anything wrong with either topic, but I like to know her thoughts on current events, political leanings, thoughts for the future.  Additionally, she occasionally gives me a blank stare when I use a word that she hasn't heard before. "Contention" is one of the words that come to mind.  
Now, not to say I'm a brainiac by any stretch of any acid tripper's imagination, but that really throws me.

Another thing, is that as she struggles through her college reading materials, she says she constantly needs to bring out a thesaurus to help her understand.

Wow.

When we talk about what happens after college, she mentions that not only will she stay in the industry she's in (which is low paying to begin with), but will try to maintain her position since she enjoys it so much.

Really?

That seems unnatural for me.   The point of college (or any profession, really), is the ability to climb the ladder of the economic food chain and get more responsibility and get paid for your knowledge and experience.

This kinda' spooks me a bit.
While she is getting a VERY generous child and spousal support from her Ex; there is always a possibility that things can, and will, change.   I wonder if her basically being a housewife for the past 15+ years and being financially dependent on her husband has skewed her view on how she has to concentrate on being a bread winner.

Not that her future wage potential alarms me, but rather the indifference she has towards climbing up the ladder. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling a bit woozy and when kitty sounds like she's uttering sentences, that's my Que that I need to lay back down.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

When Insecurities interfere....

I think it's time for a bit of an update:

FF and I have been dating semi-regularly,  but only once a week or so.  My work and her obligations make our dating life a bit sedate of sorts, but we do manage to get in some smooching sessions going on, though.

There has been a pattern over the past month that has gotten to me.   I know this is way to early for us to stress out about, but she seems to be torn as to where to live.   I love the city and all the opportunities that can be found here.  She seems to be mired into living in one of the outlying southern communities.

While I understand the logic behind what she wants, she seems overly concerned at this stage of our relationship.  So much so, that we had "broken up" right after New Years.

The "Break up" consisted of her dating other guys.  Something I had suggested to her awhile ago. 

Her insecurity about me is starting to get to the point of annoyance everytime she brings it up.  
After our last meeting, she texted me the following...out of the blue:

"I don't want to lose you."
"Want me to attach a GPS on my ankle??"
"No. I'm afraid to lose you if you find someone better, but I'm not sure I'm  ready to let you go if you do."

I roll my eyes, almost causing me to have an accident on an empty freeway.

Tossing my phone over my shoulder into the backseat, I continue driving home...

Friday, January 8, 2010

Twit Twittering about...and about twittering twit.

In case a few humble readers have notice, I put a twittering widget on the site.  
Over the past few months, I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to blog about the things that have happened (and am working on 3 different posts from December!), so I'd thought I'd cave into the popularity of it and do a little micro-blogging.

At least in this way, you can see what goes on and what might trigger a post.

Additionally, my kiddo has had some interesting insight on some of my dating exploits (the women, not the sex.) so I might include some of our more interesting conversations in.

And for those wondering, I'm down to 110 posts on my google reader.
I'm off to work in this god for saken cold weather.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

"Are you married?" WTF?

During one of our late night meetings, we sat at a table at a chain restuaraunt and we were generally talking about our day, the upcoming holidays and other topics.
As reached for my meal she asked, "Are you married?"
I choose this moment to pop in some pieces of my scalding hot meal and flapped open my mouth trying to cool it down from giving me 3rd degree burns.
"wha? huh?", I said as intelligently sounding as I could considering the freshly fried shrimp was taking revenge in my mouth.
she repeated the question.
"Umm...why?" as I scooped out the last of the offending pieces of my once bitten meal out of my mouth and onto my plate.
I can be as classy as the rest of them.
"You're charming, intelligent, cute, graceful..", she paused
I was busily trying to fish out another ice cube from my glass with my fingers while sucking another in my mouth with my lips puckered like a fish as she said this.
she continued, "...ok. usually.  You seem like an excellent father to your kid...", and she went on for another minute until I regained my senses and stopped her.
Regaining what little composure I have, I reassured her that I am not, have never been, nor am I currently engaged.
I even picked up my phone to dial up my kiddo for verification, but she stopped me. 
She smiled that sweet smile and seemed satisfied and apologized for doubting me.
We finished our small meal and paid, it was time for her to go back home.
"I'm sorry for doubting you, but I just needed to make sure.  Will you accept my apology? I know I must seem a bit crazy, but there have been some weird guys I have dated that turned out to be married."
"No?! REALLY??" I said in my most surprised tone.
"Yeah, you wouldn't believe the creeps a girl runs across." she said.

I didn't want to keep her out, so I patted her on the bottom and kissed her deeply at her car door.
"I really am sorry for sounding like a crazy girl." she repeated.
"No biggie, I understand" I said as I walking away.
"Will you accept a blowjob as part of my apology?" she said with a smile.

I started turning around even before she finished the sentence...