Pleased to meet you. Why yes, I would love to lick your asshole.

*bzz*
I don't hear you!
*bzz*
Turning over I ignore the CL phone.
*bzz-
Good they gave up.  Damn "Car warranty" people.
Settling in trying to get back to some solid sleep.
*DING!*
WTF? They left a msg?
That finally caught my attention.
Grabbing the offending phone, it rings again.
It's Lauren!  I haven't heard from her in several days and didn't think much of it.
"Hey sweetie!  Sorry I haven't called, phone has been acting up. This is my private number to the office if you want to talk to me."
Ooo....I feel special.
It's obvious that I'm still a bit sleepy because I'm still slurring some of my words, but I was trying to shake myself awake.
"By the way...What is the party about you mentioned on your Voicemail Message?"
"Uhh...."  I couldn't think of a plausible excuse.
FUCK! I forgot to change the message since last party! Might as well be honest about it, if we go forward, she might know about it and something tells me she's not exactly a nun.
I confess to some of it, but only tell her a bit, she doesn't have to know all.
We continue to talk for a bit until I finally asked if she wanted to meet tonight for coffee after work.
"SURE!"  You can't get more enthusiastic than that.
"It's a date!"
"Wait!  I am still recovering from a cold, I don't really wanna give it to you."
"Don't worry, it'll give you an excuse for me not to give you a peck on the cheek."
This was greeted with laughter.

Forwarding a couple of hours, I meet her in a nearby suburb of town not too far away.
After walking in, I spotted her.
Mid 40's, curvy, pleasantly plump, woman, that looked quite serious into the book she was reading.
She spotted me as I was walking toward her and her face changed into one of warmth and welcome.
We sat down and talked for awhile about a variety of things, including our mutual love for TIVO and the people we have met.

Towards the end of the conversation, she wanted to know more about the parties, as she saw me stuttering, she interrupted me.  "Just say it, I'm not a virgin, you know I'm submissive, do you REALLY think you're going to say anything new to me?"
She had a point. So I continued and she was quite fascinated by it and went on to other topics.
Somehow, the conversation started its way down to sex, and I let her know I LOVE to give rimsjobs.
Her eyes glazed over, "I LOVE those."
Oh god. Here comes trouble.
I decide that it was time I need to get to work.
Walking her outside, I shake her hand, hug her, and walk off.
I felt good about this, we have chemistry.

Climbing into my car, I receive a text from her before I even start the car.
"You know, you didn't even try to kiss me. I'm hurt. Not interested?"
I smile and give her a call back and explain to her I want to be as chaste as possible.
Yeah, sounds like total bullshit, but its true.
At least, I'm going to try to convince myself that.

"So you don't find me attractive?"
Oh good lord!
In my "sexy announcer" voice, I respond:
"Oh yeah! I'd do you in a heartbeat, baby! I'd lick that asshole of yours in an instant."
Gales of laughter was coming from the phone.
"Happy?"
"Yes.  Goodnight!"

Yeah, she's going to be interesting.

On a side note:
I talked to KM.   We have a date for Tonight, I think she's feeling a bit randy.