KM's picture is grinning at me as the phone cheerfully announces that she is on the other side.
Taking a deep breath, I muster total calm. Complete calm. Inhale.
Breathe.
"Hi, Sweetie!"
"Are you mad at me?" Did my tone give it away?
"Well, I AM a bit peeved." Fuck it. Gotta be honest.
"Why?" WHY? She asks WHY??
"Because you left me hanging, I didn't know what was going on." Again. Be honest.
Okay, everything is on the table.
Let's roll the dice.
"Well, I was busy with the kids and..." She continued for several minutes...Until I finally had to interrupt.
"Look, I understand SIX kids can be a handful. I get it, I just wished you could have simply told me what was going on."
"I know. I suck. I'm really bad about that."
"That's all I ask. Keep me informed."
"I know, I suck at that." If she knows that, why can't she correct it?
"So, where at you at now?"
"Home."
"Oh, I guess you wouldn't want to hang out with me, being irritated and all."
"No. Not irritated. Peeved. Difference."
"Oh?" C'mon! I don't wanna' parse words!
"Yes. Peeved."
"Well, if you're peeved at me, you probably wouldn't want to be with me tonight."
What? What? No! I'll be with you tonight! Really!
"Whatever you wish to do, doll. I am at your service."
"Well, let me take care of things here and I'll let you know." FUCK! WOMAN! Make a decision!!, "Besides, I'm not showered, I've been up all day..."
My hopes for tonight are being squashed by a ton of excuses.
"You DO know they have showers in hotels, if that is what you want to do." Okay. that came out snarky, but, whatever.
"I know, I...well, I don't know what to do tonight." You want to be with me! I'll hold your hand! I'll massage your feet! I just want to spend time with you!
"Well, whatever you feel comfortable with, I'm okay." Total lie. I'll sulk like a kid if I don't see her.
"Okay, well, I'll call you back."
ARGH!
Oh good lord!
As I'm opening up my 2nd bottle, I hear my phone buzz and I'm immediately tempted to throw it down the garbage disposal.
I read the text message and I almost lose it:
"Let's skip tonight. I am really not good company."
My reaction is a bit more childish I've thought I'd be. I throw every pillow and cushion within reach.
After a couple of minutes, I sit on my now, VERY uncomfortable couch with my cat begging to be scratched.
So much for having a little Pussy and now I'm incredibly drunk.
Posts
Not to defend her at all but I know that I do some rather infuriating things but I can't always stop myself from doing them. Sometimes people just can't get out of their own way.
ReplyDeleteThat said...I don't think this is going to work at least not the way you want it to. Sorry. It just doesn't sound like she wants to meet you half way.
I'm starting to see that.
ReplyDeleteParticularly since I just noticed that out of 22 posts, she's mentioned in 14 of them.
Starting this week, I'm going to continue the search and not hold my breath for KM anymore.
Good luck in your search - it's hard.
ReplyDeleteDarlin'...I would walk away with your dignity, your mind and your sofa intact.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's hard to do, but you have tried more than the normal human would ever be asked to. She's flaky. She is probably a wonderful woman...however, after the second "blowoff", I'd be finished.
Hang in there! We'll be here for you.