A long time coming

I have been quite lazy in my postings  over the last year, but truth be told there wasn't  much to write about. FF and I have been going along just fine. The sex is great, she seems more open to some more of my "bizarre" requests and may be actually hosting a party in the not so distant future.
So for the few remaining readers, I will gamely try to catch you up.
As I write this, I'm currently in the clutches of southwest airlines somewhere near chicago on my way back home.  The reason for my flying, despite my fairly irrational hate of flying is that my daughter got married this week.  The signs around her apartment hints at some less than normal sex life. Since it is creepy for a father to think of such thoughts without getting uncomfortable,i will stop right there.
Forgive me if I am a little disjointed as we just hit a long stretch of turbulence and writing calms me down.
I have been taking a fairly active role with the kids as I spend more and more time. They are a little undecided as to how to think of me, but realize I am swift in punishments if they are not complaint with their  mom's wishes or their chores.
Even bitch cat wasn't spared to change and was introduced to the family dog one day when she came after a vet visit.
True to her nature, she gave no ground and just stared at the dog that was as big as she was when she approached. The dog did give some thought (pause?) about licking her, but my fully armed cat made her reconsider that move.
She is a cat of significant size, y'know.
So far, the three only real sticking points is where to move to.
City v. 'Burbs.
About to land and hopefully the rest of the flight will be less bumpy.
Did I mention that I hate flying?

Updates

I know it has been quite some time since I have updated.
Truth be told, nothing of significance has occurred until recently.  It seems that I will be adding some new characters to my lineup:

• Kiddo, as you know is my..well, college child and has been mentioned in passing.

• "James", is her oldest.  Obnoxious kid that is trying to find himself, so I kinda' cut him a little slack.  It seems like he's well on his way on being a world class douchebag as he gets older*, but I'll work on that.

• Rabbit, is a younger sister a couple of years younger.  She's also trying to find herself in that awkward stage.  I hate to say it, but she's not that bright. ("14+7=24, right?")

• Tommy, who is the youngest.  He acts and thinks like a typical child of his age, so I give him quite a bit of slack, much to FF's dismay.

This past weekend, we stayed at a hotel in Downtown to simply enjoy each others company (Read: fuck our brains out) and had a chance to actually move beyond the drivel we normally talk about and started getting into some other more meaningful topics.
I think we're about to move into a bit of the next stage.  No, "I love you's" were exchanged, but I think it is safe to say they were implied.
We got the big "Swinger" topic out of the way and is willing to play up to a point, but I will get to that later.

The weekend ended well, we were happy and content** and all was right with the world.
But there was one slight thing that kinda' happened before the weekend.
Katy and I have been talking, but nothing serious and I will touch upon that in the OTHER blog.
Then this past friday, Stella mentioned that she was moving into town.  The conversation I can't really share, but I pretty much told her that I'm off the market, but I didn't tell her if FF OK's it, that's another story..

As FF and I are talking and I'm giving her the heads up and history of stella, my phone buzzes with an incoming email.

Andi.

Do these girls have impeccable timing or what?

* C'mon, you know the assholes, douchebags, and jerks you know now had to come from SOMEWHERE.
**You know you had a good weekend when your cock is sore. 

Circling the drain...

The past few weeks have been amazingly troubling and busy, and because of it our time together has shrunk considerably.
Forgive me if this is a bit more rambling than usual, but some details can't be spoken about due to the unusual facets of it.

The lack of time together has been because of conflicting schedules; mine is work, and hers is with her children.
That was expected from the get go and I was good about it.

Lately, there has been some troubles regarding her older son (still a teen) who seems to have had some disciplinary problems.  
It's nothing that my child has hasn't done, but she was smart enough to not get caught and has straightened out.

However, her child HAS been caught in the past and is now facing a charge that is something that could stick with him beyond his childhood years.

The thing that angers me the most is that he STILL doesn't get how serious it is.
While this may sound very selfish, I have a feeling this will also affect the little dating time FF and I are able to accomplish.
It is this fact along with other concerns that have been driving me a little crazy.
I know kids eventually will fly straight, my kid has, but it's just a reminder of the trials and heartaches that raising a child can be.  
Knowing what is ahead terrifies me, but I feel that I have an advantage of "been there, done that" parenting wise, but to say that it is a bit disconcerting is to put it mildly.

To have her crying trying to say that she  "don't want you to think I raise bad kids" while she's on the verge of totally losing it just makes me wonder if I should pull the plug on this or not.

When does this parenting thing end?

I was at a the world series watching the Astros.
Just got my hotdog, IF is next to me holding a couple of big beers and I have a slight buzz.
To make it even better, a couple of sexy ladies and I were chatting up a bit and things seemed quite promising.
VERY promising.

A loud annoying noise seems to come through the intercom.

I ignore it and the game is about to start and a possible 3some afterward seemed to be hanging in the air.

The noise came again.

I pried open my eyes and realized it was all a dream and reached for the annoying noise which was coming from my phone.

"Hey Dad."
I mumble something in return.
"Asleep? It's almost noon!"
"I work nights, dear. Remember? How much do you want this time?"  I do a mental check of my bank account and hoping she has some mercy.
"Daaaaad, who is ?" I still miss being called "Daddy."
"Who?" I start to wake up..the name sounded familiar...but not quite right.
".  She just asked to be join my facebook."
"Oh...that must be FF."
"She said something about being your girlfriend."
Uh-oh.
"Yes. She is. What's wrong?"
"Nothing.  Never known you to have a girlfriend that you introduced to me before on facebook. By the way, how did she know where to look?  You're not on facebook."
I weave a story of mystery of how she told me the name of the book and happen to mention it to her.
"I see."  I can feel lazer beams coming out at me. "Did you meet HER kids yet?"
"Yes, I did."
"And?"
"Well, it was interesting.  Didn't know if they were okay with me and haven't met them again."
"Just so you know, it's kinda' tough seeing your parents date for the first time."
I was stunned at this, considering I have been single for almost her entire life...

We went on like this for a bit, talking on how her friend's parents were divorced and the ensuing dating issues that came up.  I paraded quite a few women in front of her, but usually I was in a "serious" relationship at the time.  Nothing TOO scandalous.

"You okay with all this?" I finally got around to asking.
"Dad. You've dated more women than quite a few people I've known and those are jut the ones I know about!  You've never discussed your dating or sex life with me, and for that, I'm eternally grateful."
That wasn't so hard!
"Then we're good?"
"Sure are Dad. One thing, though."
"Yes?"
"Since you mentioned she just got divorced, do you think she's ready?"
That's what I love about my kiddo. No filter.
"Not sure yet." I didn't mention my other concerns yet, "Is that it?"
"If you still want to send me money, I'm good with that too."
"I love you, bye."
"Bye dad."


Hopefully she won't spoil my chances, believe it or not, she blocked me once.  But that's another story for another time.

Making a return appearence....So long Teaser

While contemplating another post, my phone buzzed with an email I and habitually picked it up:

Initially the name at the header didn't seem familiar at first and then I read the first line:

"Hey, how've you been? For some reason I've been thinking a lot about you the past few days. I think I miss you!"

I stared at the email for a few more seconds and suddenly recalled that it was Teaser!
The gist of the email was she didn't feel ready to be in a relationship was also apologizing for being a "jerk" (she wasn't being one).

We haven't talked in quite awhile, but I gave her a VERY brief rundown on what has happened in my life, but I didn't give specifics.

Having never said bye to hear, I think THAT door closed on its own quite some time ago.

Meet the kids and a small change...

The phone buzzed early on saturday morning.

Reaching over the offending object, I will an eye to open up.
It seemed to take forever for it to comply with my suggestion, but it relented.

FF: "We still on for today?"
My eye slammed shut.

Today. Today is.....Sunday? No...it's saturday...
My mind was still warming up.   The hamsters take awhile to get out of the straw.
What was Saturday?
I remember the timestamp on the Text..

Noon? 1pm?*

I give up and will my eyes to look at the text again.
12:30.
Close enough.
But what was today?  We NEVER meet on Saturdays!
Besides, this was the weekend she has her kids - oh fuck! - her kids!

I bolt out of bed and on the way to the shower, request movie times.

On the way into the shower, I hold a 3 minute debate on whether or not I should shave my beard. 
Screw it. No time.

I make it to the more or less at the time I agreed and after severely depleting my wallet with the tickets and concession stand, we make our way to the seats.

We talked for a couple of minutes, but nothing of substance, FF and I simply settled back and watched the movie. Behaving ourselves, we just managed to sneak in a peck on the cheek and a hug.

The "Date" ended as I had to head off to work, but I don't think it was an important enough of a meeting for the kids, but it was important enough for FF.

It was later she heard an exchange with one of her kids and a buddy of his.

"So..how was your mom's new boyfriend?"
"He's cool, I guess."

Good enough for her.


Additionally, I'm taking myself off the "Dating" market.  We'll see if this lasts. 



*Yes. That's early.

Out of the blue...

I will get back to my past adventures with FF a bit later:

Currently, I'm under siege a bit.

Andi and I have been talking a bit more than usual.  She's asking quite a bit about FF and my life. She seems to be coming around that, as long as I'm seeing FF, there is nothing there for her.

Stella, on the other hand, has no clue and sent me the following text last week:

"My RIV, please call or Txt.  I'm planning on being in town for my bday and would like to see you.  Will be staying with friends."

I ignore the text for several days and then I get the following:

"I wish you would talk to me."

Once again, I ignore it.

2 hours later, I get a phone call:

"Hey."  It was her! Fuck!
"Hey." 
We went on to talk about things in general and finally I had to tell her that it was over between us.
Too much time passed and I told her about FF.
Never one to miss an opportunity, she says that it's okay, but wanted to see me to just talk, but if I wanted to bring her along I could.

OH NO!  Bad idea!
After a few more minutes, I was noncommittal and we hung up and my heart started to return back to normal.

I'm wondering if perhaps meeting her for a last time to show her I'm not interested.

Nah, I'd think I'd wind up fucking her.
God she was good!

A moment of panic.

In the middle of working, I got the following:

"Baby...as a reward for finishing classes. Want to take kids and I to the movies Saturday afternoon?"

The second sentence hit me like a thunderbolt.
Isn't this a BIT soon?  She IS freshly divorced.

I mean, she has that fresh divorce smell, a hubby that is hyper-sensitive (even though he initiated it).

10 minutes later, I pick up the phone and we discuss this.
I lost.
Of course, I didn't try that hard to win.
It has begun.
With a whimper a new stage of the relationship has started.


In my gut I still feel its WAAAAY too early to be introduced as "The Boyfriend" to her kids, but I can't think of a proper time to do it.

Aw fuck.

One door opens wider, and trying shutting another.

 The progression between FF and I as a couple, seems to be moving forward.
Seems like she wants me to meet the kids within the next few weeks or so.
Personally, I think it's a bit too soon, but it's something she wants to happen, so I'm not going to argue too much about it.

She continues to tell me about her variety of Craig's list posts and responses she confessed that one in which one that she answered for a massage went much further than she intended.  She asked if I would be opposed to go one with her.

My comment was that I'd probably make it worse and have both of the guys do her instead.
She just giggled about it and we let the matter drop.  Either way, things seems to be on the road to be more serious between us.


Since she still actively goes on CL for a variety of reasons, I'm not going to get into too much of what she specifically looks for or anything.



A few hours later, as I was writing ANOTHER post, Andi came up on one of my IM's.


Andi says:
 Hello
 how was your thanksgiving?
RIV says:
 Hey there. how are you?  Doing okay, worked it mostly.
Andi says:
 so whats new?
RIV says:
 Not too much. Might be meeting my g/fs kids in a week or two.

Andi says:
 cool
 Nervewracking ..meeting the kids huh?
 oh wow
 RIV says:
 Yes, I think it's a bit soon, but if that's what she wants, I can't really argue about it.  She's the best judge on that.
If things work out, I might get married sometime in the next two years or so as well, but we'll see.*
Andi says:
 oh wow
 thats great 
RIV says:
 yeah, she's freshly divorced, so I have to take it easy.
Andi says:
 I get that
 Meeting the kids is a big step..so one thing at a time
RIV says:
 I'm sure you do, the divorce was final just recently.
Andi says:
 Okay
 I could think of no other appropriate response to that ..lol
RIV says:
 LOL. not much you can say to that, really.
Andi says:
 I guess not
RIV says:
 I've been rather gunshy with divorcee's as of late.. had two other ones bail because they weren't ready.
Andi says:
 I dont blame you there..i dated way before I was ready and well it was a disaster
 I am in a much better place now
RIV says:
 Exactly.
 Which is why I'm actively encouraging her to meet other guys.
Andi says:
 Okay
 I can see that
 Can I tell you something?
RIV says:
 sure.
Andi says:
 I feel like everytime I talk to you , I want to tell you thanks for talking to me again.. I know it sounds nuts but thanks for the second chance.
RIV says:
 Oh. Okay.
 To be honest with you, you didn't get a second chance.  You dropped off my dating radar.
Andi says:
 I know that but I am glad we can be friends at least
 i am the same way as you , I am not forgiving when people are like I was.
 I can close a chapter with the best of them
Rick says:
 surely.
Andi says:
 Its a regret though.. but anyway I should finish this marketing project
 Have a good night..
RIV says:
 G'nite.
Andi says:
 thanks for clarifying that for me, I assumed as much. have a really good christmas in case I dont catch you. I am really glad to hear things are working out for you.  But I am sorry about us.
RIV says:
 No problem.  Take care.
Andi says:
 One last thing, its the most important. I hope you get all the happiness you deserve, you are priceless.

With that, she logged off before I had a chance to reply.  


I continued working on that "OTHER" post and a few minutes later, she was back and the conversation turned decidedly sexual in tone.


This is NOT what I was expecting after that chat.  
We wound up watching part of the Star Wars marathon together and had the oddest convos.


"Luke would be such a BORING lay" would be one of the comments uttered by her.
"How does Darth Masturbate in that thing?" she said at one point.
"Probably uses the 'Force'." I typed without even a pause to think about it. 


Somehow, in our typical rambling way, the conversation turned to the parties I throw**, and hinted she'd be interested, but I can't be there unless I was her "partner."


A few minutes after it started to turn into cybersex, I just said I needed to go to bed and called it a night and told her I had to get ready for bed. 
I'm sure it was quite frustrating for her.  


A few minutes later I got a text from her, "I never seen you run so fast before."
I ignored it and crashed.


* While I'm not sure if FF and I are going there anytime soon, I'd thought I'd throw that out there to see if I can plant that I really don't want her contacting me.  I can be TOO subtle at times.  
** She doesn't know the extent or the blog, and I doubt if she ever will. 

Incidentals, updates, emails, etc...

I've been far too busy to put up regular posts on things, so this is a heavily abridged version.

-Updates:

FF and I have been getting along just fine, met up a few times here and there, but our conflicting schedules will make it almost impossible for us to meet for the  next couple of weeks.
Theoretically.  It might be sooner.

One of the things she mentioned was that she was still going on "dating interviews" with other guys.
She complained how some were running the spectrum of the reasons as why she was rejecting them.
When she got down to "He was too 'Hand-sy'" I had to simply pull over and laugh.

"Really?"
"Yes, he was too forward."
"Compared to OUR first meeting??"
She allowed that we WERE a BIT comfortable with each other and droned on for a bit about it.
I just let it pass.

She asked if I was okay with it, and I totally played it cool.  Last thing I need is ANOTHER instance of a woman backing off because she wasn't ready.


Within the past couple of days, she's been particularly moody, she snapped out of one of her bouts to confide that the decree has been written up and that the divorce should be final within a week or so.
After telling me this, she breaks down over the phone and just hates it and wonders why he's being an ass about some issues.
I calm her down a bit and told her I understood, but that the road doesn't end there, when it comes to divorce with kids, it'll extend out for years.

She didn't like that response, but I thought it would be best not to mince words on the truth:  Divorce is ugly.
Calming down after a bit, she wanted to continue the convo on text because she didn't feel like she can hold it together.

"I'm sorry, I'm acting this way, it's my first divorce."
Yeah. It sucks.

Comments/Emails:

Quite a few people have asked why don't we just "get a room" and it's quite simple, because of her situation, she needs to be able to get home fairly quickly, so with the exception of a date a bit ago we stick to necking in cars.

Plus if feels dirty that way...dirty is fun.

There is also a need for her to be fairly close to home, the unique nature of the custody of the kids, doesn't allow me to tell any specifics about it.  Basically, she needs to be able to get home in a fairly short amount of time on short notice.

Working hard, looking for a goal, with visions in my head

Pardon me for the weird(er) shit that I'm typing out than usual.

I've been working solid since my personal Madoff, I gotta raise money for my kids college tuition and my trip to a little party I have planned, plus some other plans I have in mind.

Usually there is a sound track of what is going on in my mind and lately some young angry Billy Joel comes up:




But lately, I had a few lucky breaks and an epiphany that I simply need to let things happen and that my overall long term goals aren't as far as I had initially imagined.  What really helped was listening to this song that I "discovered" on the radio.



I think I'm going to follow that path next year and maybe a month vacation and bum around on a beach and support the local beer/vodka/Scotch industry, I work too damned much.

Celibacy...what's that? date updates and catching up.

Well, I've had two dates with her since I last wrote but I've simply been too busy with work, drama, and FF to able to keep up so here is a basic update for the 3 three readers that seem to care. :)

Our date a couple of weeks ago, we tried a simple movie night at her place.
We never made it beyond 30 minutes before clothing started to fall off.

The sex was wild, it was insane, it was JUST this side of rough.
My god how she gushed, it was awesome.
Of course, I HAD to drink up every oz I could; it would be a shame to get it on her couch.

This past weekend, we tried for the celibacy thing again.
Destination:  The Greek Festival.
Damn.  There was rain.  We divert to a mexican joint I love.
We're sitting there and talking.
I love the city.  Vibrant, colorful, tons to do.
"I hope to move near here soon." as I was scooping in some of my tasty meal.
"You like living in town?"
It was that TONE. 
"Yes, near baseball, the museums, theater, etc. I love it."
"So you're not interested in a house?"  I didn't spot it this time.
"Oh, Hell no.  I've done the house thing. Gimme a condo or townhome."
The discussion then went to how she loves the 'burbs.  The quiet.  The peace.

I almost gagged on my breakfast.
Been there. Done that. Hated it.
I mean, not that there is anything wrong with it, but it's not for ME!

The conversation was interrupted by our server and our collective ADD switched topics to a favorite topic: Food.

The date ended with a serious smooching/eating session, as usual in my car.  Go fig.

we managed to meet for a late night dinner or two and things seemed to go well.

Then yesterday I get a text:

Her: "Why do we orture ourselves with dating when we know we can't agree where to live if we're together?"







WTF? Where did THAT come from?  During some of our talks, I suggested a public school within the city that specializes in the career he was interested in.  Since she was new to the city, she had no idea it existed and seemed somewhat taken aback that such an opportunity was there.

We texted a bit furiously after that and asked her if she just wanted to call it off, she responded with the following:

"I won't bring it up again. Friend just advised me o grow up and live for what I've got and not plan for future but let things happen."

Lord how people over-analyze things when they're dating.

Empty streets....

I've had a rough couple of weeks on different levels from major to minor.   Of course, there is that little matter of FF and I.  We need to resolve some issues on our next date.  So, having a need to simply take a chance to relax and let myself decompress.

One of the great things about my job is that I simply stop what I'm doing, leave and take a bit to compose myself if I'm having a rough day (night, whatever).

Going into downtown, I pull over and take a walk for a few blocks.  I always try to have a camera with me, so I'd thought sharing what I see at night would be an interesting to see how see the world.

While I'm in a heavily populated city, it empties out after most businesses and bars close and the night shift is well underway.

This is what it's like in the middle of the night while most everyone is deep in slumber. 
I always recommend to people that they need to visit their own city late at night.   After walking a few blocks, the local security guards, occasional cop, and garbage worker and I exchange nods.   People always associate walking around downtown after dark is tantamount to asking to be mugged or worse.  Generally speaking, in this town, downtown is about as safe as walking around your own suburban neighborhood.  The thing is, to me the empty streets are simply another form of beauty.

Either way, it was a walk well needed.
You guys should try it sometime.

As you can see, it really looks different.
Enjoy the pictures.

I want my cartoon network!

You know, I've had a rough couple of days and needing some laughs, I tune into the cartoon network for some Family guy, Robot Chicken, and Metalocalypse (my newest addictions).
I'm greeted with an image that chills my heart:

Effective Sept. 22, 2009

Comcast Customers

will need to have a digital converter box in order to

receive Cartoon Network

Call 1-800Blahblahblah

My heart sank. 
No big deal.  I'll just call them later, upgrade my service a tad, get Cable Cards (to bypass the lousy box) and everything will be right in the world.

When I woke up, first thing I did was call them.*  I cheerfully asked for an upgrade and a couple of media cards.**

"Okay sir, no problem."

"Great. Didn't know how dependent I was on the Cartoon Network until it went away."

"Umm....sir? You still need the box."

"What?"

"You need to have the box if you still want that network."

He went on to give me Techno-babble about the reasoning behind it, basically saying that it's no longer broadcast on the analog, just digital.

"Cool.  Upgrade me to that package, and get me the cards."  What's an extra 10-15 bucks a month, eh?

"Sir, you still need the converter box for it."

"What? I have to get the HD Package to get it?" Fuck. Okay. My old TV is dying, been waiting to get a new HD one.***  I immediately start my inner debate between Plasma and LCD.  39-42 inches should do. Oh yeah!  Plus, Blu-ray!  Hmm...I wonder what Blu-Ray porn would look like on that screen?

"Sorry Sir, you will still need to get the Box."  He said it with THAT tone that one uses when speaking to an exceptionally slow child, of which I'm sure I was starting to sound at this point.

He continued to explain for a bit.

A cable box.  I don't WANT a cable box!  I have a clean looking system!

"Okay. Let me get this straight. If I got the ultra-high end package with HD, and just use the cable card right into my TiVO; I can get ALL the channels, right?"

"Correct, sir.  Except for the Cartoon Network."

How BADLY do I want this damned Network?

"Okay. Cool.  I'll decide later and I appreciate your help.   But can I talk to a Tech person, I'm trying to wrap my head around this. Nothing personal, I'm just not getting it."

"No problem, Sir. Quite a few people don't."

Lovely.

After a few moments on hold, I get a tech and she explains to me the same techno-babble the sales guy did.

"REALLY?"

"Yes, Sir. No matter what package you have, to you HAVE to have that cable box.  The media cards won't do it. There is no additional cost to get a box."

"That's not really the point, I don't WANT a box!"

"Sorry, Sir!"

I thank her, and out of politeness I wished her a good day and hung up. I was enraged.

Fuck.  I guess I'll go get a cable box, but I still better be able to record two programs at once, damnit!

I swear, it's a conspiracy by the Cable box industry!

Now I'm depressed again.

Damn you, Robot Chicken and Metalocalypse! Why must you be so...entertaining!

*God, Maybe I AM depressed!

** I heart my TIVO. Really. Buy one.  All you have to do is plug the buggers in and voila! No need for a box!

*** I said I took a hit, but I'm not destitute!

"There but by the grace of God go I"

The well known utterance by John Bradford, who actually said; ""There but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford."
Anyway.
There has been a number of fellow bloggers who appear that their worlds have been shaken by some personal calamity of some nature, whether its financial, emotional, or marital.  Being keenly aware of what seems to be a chain of drama, I was wondering when it was going to hit someone I knew.
Little did I realize how true my prediction would be, but I didn't think it was going to be ME!
I'm continuously aware of how one's fortune is incredibly tenuous at times. More-so than most people actually believe, really.  It's not merely those that are very poor that can go down a slide, but those of the super rich as well.
Madoff and Stanford are those that decided that the wealthy need a blow to their egos and get ripped off.  The ones that have been on the news after such issues just seem to be in a major state of shock when they find themselves, quite literally penniless overnight.

Whenever I see someone who is less fortunate or going through some trial in life, I always say a small prayer giving thanks, that I am not in their position and strive hard to not to be in the same situation.

Without getting into too much details, I can say I had my own Madoff, but on a VERY smaller scale.
Basically, most of my liquid assets were totally wiped out.
Not to say I'm broke, I still have other savings, but some things need to be pushed back a bit.  Needless to say I was more than a little peeved about the whole thing.
After talking to Starfish, Football Fan, and some other friends about it (and in slightly greater detail) they were amazed on how calm I was.
I wasn't screaming, crying, throwing tantrums, or cursing.
Well, maybe I was cursing a little.
To me, it just simply seemed like a waste of energy and I needed to take stock and form a plan of action.
I took a day off to recover and drown my sorrows in pasta, eventually coming to the realization that I am going to survive, that I can recover from this, that nothing has changed.
I mean, aside from being a little lighter in the pockets and my waistline took a massive hit, there was little or no damage.

My only major concern was some immediate expenses that needed to be looked after and a trip that I am planning.*  

Well, maybe one more concern.

After I hung up the phone in a slight case of depression and a prolonged Texting convo with FF, I asked her the following:

"So does this change things?"
"What does?" she eventually responded.
"My being broke."  She doesn't know the extent of my finances, not that they are THAT extensive.
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, you seemed fairly concerned about it and asked. Remember?" I wondered if she genuinely forgot.
"Did I sound that shallow to you when I asked that question? Really am sorry if I did.  I don't care, I like you for who you are."
"Thanks."
"We will just have cheap dates for a bit.  Maybe more smooching and fewer movies."

That set my mind at ease, she went on to apologize again for a bit longer and eventually told her that I wanted to be alone and sulk.

My time of my pity party is over, though. 
Time to pick myself up and move on and get to work.
Still, it was a perfectly good waste of an excuse to get totally wasted on Vodka, but I can't afford it right now.  I'll make an appointment to be depressed around April, I should be able to afford another good bender by then.



*Yes. I'm still throwing that party, but it's now an act of defiance.  I'll stick to that story.

Neglecting friends and going on a bender

I've been under quite a bit of stress over the past few months and have been extremely busy to boot.
My dating and other activities had to be severely curtailed, to the point of even neglecting to seeing some of my friends and partaking in my leisurely activities that I enjoyed.

That ends tonight.
I'm joining IF and going on a bit of a bender.  I think it's quite deserved. Also, I went on a meeting yesterday that I hope to finish the post sometime this week.

Gonna hit Midtown pretty hard tonight.  Not going to be a rowdy crowd, but enough to allow me to relax for the first time in awhile.   Besides, I owe IF a few drinks.

Teaser might have been the right name!

Having been ridiculously busy with some things having occurred over the past few months, I was finally able to sit, contact, and concentrate on Teaser for a bit.
Being only able to talk in short spurts with her since we last talked. 
One of the things she was mentioning was how her husband was trying to get into her good graces. 

A little background is in order:
The reasoning behind their separation was due to his cheating and basically kicked him out or she moved out.  Still never got the entire story of it.

Turns out, he has come back begging to be back in her life.  Initially, she had stated that she was quite reluctant to even give him more than a token response, but that had changed over the period of the week or two I haven't been able to have an extended conversation with her.
This week was supposed to be a week for us to get "more familiar" with each other while her kids were visiting her grandparents up north.
The day that they left, I contacted her, but she was fairly distant and didn't react to my overtures.  Comes to find out, she had an eye infection, and considering what she does for a living, it was putting her far behind in her work.  My being the workaholic that I am, I totally understood and gave her some distance so she can catch up to make her deadlines.

Towards the end of the week, we talked a bit more and admitted that she was looking forward to our extended rendezvous, but that she had been talking to her husband and talking about perhaps getting back together.  She was rather torn up about the whole situation and was rather confused about the whole matter on what to do.
Not one to interfere with what makes her happy for my own selfish reasons (I'm not THAT much of a Douche'), I simply wished her luck.

"I'm truly sorry." she went on...
"Apologize for what?" 
" I know you were looking forward to this week and I feel like I have been leading you on, but between the infection and my husband, I feel overwhelmed.  I hope you're shopping around for another woman, because I am very confused as to what do do."
"Not a big deal, you have some serious matters you need to settle."
Then a little surprise.
"You know, we could have a threesome", she added.
I just stared at my phone for a few moments before responding.  I had totally forgot they we swingers.
The next few moments were a bit of a blur and can't quite remember what was said, but it had turned decidedly sexual in nature.
"You know, instead of dealing with him, I'd rather be getting some," She confided.
"That can be arranged if you want." and then I went on how she could simply allow me to come to her house and give her a nice waking up.

Yes. I know, been there and done that before, but DAMN, it's fun!

She didn't promise anything, but said she'd think about it. 

Keeping my phone handy throughout the night, but I have learned not to anticipate much.
As my night drew to a close, I never received the text. 
Pretty much what I expected.

Hair Drama Trauma!

I needed a haircut.
Having been the subject of ridicule from my friends and family (I have been REALLY busy!) about my appearance, but it was a lover that finally got me to do it.

Heading to the Northwest part of town, I casually walk in to the place and I'm greeted by good looking lady and I scan around for my barber....
As if sensing my confusion, she asks if I'm looking for someone.
"Yes, I'm looking for 'H'."
"She sold the place to me."
"What?"
"She got married and moved out of state."
I just looked at her with this even dumber look on my face than usual.
Then again, I had no clue she was even dating anyone!
"Care to wait? I'll be finished with her," Indicated the woman currently in her chair, "in an hour or so."
"This sucks!", I finally said.
"Pardon?"
"This sucks.  Now I don't know where to get my hair cut! But thanks anyway.." and walk outside in a daze.
My barber?  Gone?
This SUCKS!
I mean, really!  I'm more loyal to my barbers than to my girlfriends.
How sad is that?
I've had maybe 4 barbers in my adult life.
One died (and was a lover). two retired, and now another moved to another state?
Immediately sending out a mass text to my friends I asked for a recommendation.
All of them said they could not.
Really? No one?
The pitifulness in my voice was conveyed when I talked to a lady friend.
She's stunned.  She's known me for years and has never heard that "tone" in my voice.
I drive towards home and do a search on my phone for nearby places....
They all seem to be "Salons" as opposed to barber places.
Driving down the Washington Strip, I grab something to eat at a local drive thru taco place. (its much better than it sounds)  Finding a nice shaded place to enjoy my comfort food, I sat there and ate two of them when I glanced down the road and spotted a place just off the main drag.
It's a BARBER!
With the distinctive pole! It's a GUY'S place!
No girly man "salon", but a MAN's place!
I barely finish my last taco when I put my car and drive the two blocks.   Inspecting it from the outside, it had all the characteristics of a guy's place.
I pull into it's small lot and walk inside to find a couple of chairs and a couple of guys sitting around.
The place is not that well kept, with only a few nick knacks around.
Jumping into the chair, I explained my situation to the tall burly "dude" cutting my hair and gave me a heartfelt sympathy.  He understood this was an "interview" haircut.
He asked me how I normally had it.
I responded that I don't remember!
All I had to do in the past was just jump into the chair!
Gently, he explained what he suspects what was done previously
It sounded right...but I told him to give it a shot anyway.  If it's not a good haircut, I was just going to shave it off.
Yes. I'm that militant.
Turns out, it looks pretty good.

I'll just have to see my friends for a unbiased opinion.
That and they can laugh at me for acting like such a freakin' girl.

Now all I have to do is shave the beard.  It's gotten on my nerves.....I might do it tonight. :)



EDIT:   Included pics (thanks starfish!) and I still haven't shaven.  I'm Rockin' the Taliban look!

Cranial Ex-lax a mid year recap!

You know, I with Sharon's parting, its kinda' hard not to take the departure and my lack of successful dating in stride at times.
I was bemoaning my problems with a couple of people when they just looked at me like I was insane.  From what I have been *TOLD*, my I've been a rather prolific dater.
Really?
Prolific?
IS that something to strive for?
A couple of fellow blogger friends have commented that they wished they dated/Laid as much as I have.
What?  Really?

Feel free to skip this portion and go to see the women in my past.
Let's do a mid-year recap:

I've dated EIGHT (8) women since I've started this blog.
Believe it or not there have been two or three others that were so insigificant that I erased them from my memory!

One is a workahalic mother of 7 (or is that 6?) kids who was freshly divorced and proclaimed herself too insane to date.  Plus she didn't like my hobby.*  Several drama filled months of that crap.

Next was a psychic reader/hippy chick (translation: would have been KINKY!) who had some financial and distance issues.  Disaster was written all over it. Done.

Lumens, who we went on a date or two and then disappeared after she said she found a different job and boyfriend.

Then there was KS, a chick who initially answered a gangbang ad and then thought about dating as well.  Oddly enough, she saw me nude on the first "date" at a party and haven't seen her since.**

Lauren, Lovely woman. I liked her, but I don't think there was any chemistry. It was somewhat a relief when she pulled the cord and jumped off.

Latina:*** was hoping for some sort of connection as far as heritage goes****, only to find out she has some really odd ticks and has some strange conspiracy theories.

Teaser: The first girl who googled my original email and found this blog and made me go into a total panic.  We've met in, what I think, a bad case of timing.  I have some drama and work issues that is taking quite a bit of my time, while she is innudated with work and having time issues as well. Not to mention she's thinking of heading out of state.

I mean, C'mon!
Yes, that's only a partial list of the women I've dated, but you get the point.
While I don't plan on giving up dating, you can see how it's a bit daunting.
Just hard to figure out what women are thinking at times when they put themselves out there.  There have been a few expectations where they want every man they meet is a male hunk with blonde hair, blue eyes, that earns 6 figures.

How can a typical putz compete with such expectations?




*God knows what she would have said if she knew the entire extent of it.
**Maybe that had something to do with it? 
***What's up with all the "L"s?
**** Remind me to write a rant about Latin/Mexican chicks on why I generally don't date them.

Cranial Fecal Matter

Blogging (of different genre's) has always been a way for some of us to document our lives, the world around us, to make a difference, or simply be our own cheap therapy session.

Being a Dating blogger (as well a Sex blogger), what we post on here, for the most part, is a snippet of our lives. A snapshot, if you will.  Different snap shots at different times and places.  Very rarely will anyone make the abstract jump as to HOW we get from here to there. 
It's akin to taking a trip starting from one end of the nation to the other, tell you I'm there; but not mentioning the route I took, the foods that were eaten, or the oddities that are seen, witnessed, or done.
In quite a few ways, I feel like I'm cheating you (the eight readers that read this drivel) by not saying what happened in between the stories that I have posted.
While, I'm not proclaiming that my life, in any way, shape, or form is something that I would even consider fascinating,  I am open to comments or questions to both of my blogs as to what happened in between posts. While it may not be fascinating to me, it might fill in an answer for you.

I got that out of the way:

Unless I wish to start an additional blog (under this or another pseudonym) in which I'd talk about other things that interest me. My drivel might start being even more....drivel-ish. Due to my life being in a bit of a hectic, my dating has come to an abrupt stop, but I am still doing the occasional CL for playmates/Girlfriends.
The things I've been considering writing about things that occur to me on a daily basis, or wish to open a dialogue about things. My reading list, is a bit of a clue on my interests, but my life isn't simply contained between my legs (although, to be honest, I would LOVE for someone to be constantly between them), but rather in my mind that is in a frenzy search of answers.

A wide variety of questions always seem to come into my head but with few people to talk about it with and explore.  It's not that I don't' have a close group of friends or even friends with high intelligence, but more like topics that simply doesn't register as having any importance in their lives.  

Questions of "Are you or I considered 'evil' to other people?", "If Hitler got accepted to Art school, what would the world be like?", "What is it like to be in Hawking's or Einstein's brain?", "How in the world did someone have the guts to TRY to eat a ginger root?", and "Do Assholes KNOW they're assholes?"


There is so much in my head, but I realize quite a number of you probably don't care of what goes on inside my head, but hey; It's my blog and if I get this caffeinated again, lord knows what you'd find.


FYI: This post took an hour and a half to write and deleted 90% of it.  Heaven help y'all if I decide to post the echos in my head.