Dating in The Dark: Week 4

I was a little drunk when I watched this episode and forgot to post it, so bear with me on the shortened, slightly edited version of this week's post.


In short, I believe all of the guys Jeff, Amit, and Cormac, seemed like genuinely nice guys.  I don't get the issue, yet the girls all made fun of Amit's and Cormac's place for being so neat.

Kelly, Misty, and Shannon, all seemed like great girls as well, so I was surprised how the show went along.

Amit and Misty had awesome chemistry and seemed to get along quite well, but in the end, didn't wind up with him because she had issues with his height.  The Reveal showed a visible reaction from her, but I didn't get that it was the height that she was cringing on.
I really don't get that. 

Jeff and Shannon also had a wonderful connection, they seemed to go well together.  It seems like his aggression in wanting the kiss totally blew his chances and was a deal breaker for her.

Carmac and Kelly were also a great match in the dark room, but when the final reveal, she almost cringed.   I mean, I thought he was a rather good looking dude.  Eventually they winded up together, but it seemed very hesitant about it.  While I hope they make it, I am not holding any hopes for it.

Hair Drama Trauma!

I needed a haircut.
Having been the subject of ridicule from my friends and family (I have been REALLY busy!) about my appearance, but it was a lover that finally got me to do it.

Heading to the Northwest part of town, I casually walk in to the place and I'm greeted by good looking lady and I scan around for my barber....
As if sensing my confusion, she asks if I'm looking for someone.
"Yes, I'm looking for 'H'."
"She sold the place to me."
"What?"
"She got married and moved out of state."
I just looked at her with this even dumber look on my face than usual.
Then again, I had no clue she was even dating anyone!
"Care to wait? I'll be finished with her," Indicated the woman currently in her chair, "in an hour or so."
"This sucks!", I finally said.
"Pardon?"
"This sucks.  Now I don't know where to get my hair cut! But thanks anyway.." and walk outside in a daze.
My barber?  Gone?
This SUCKS!
I mean, really!  I'm more loyal to my barbers than to my girlfriends.
How sad is that?
I've had maybe 4 barbers in my adult life.
One died (and was a lover). two retired, and now another moved to another state?
Immediately sending out a mass text to my friends I asked for a recommendation.
All of them said they could not.
Really? No one?
The pitifulness in my voice was conveyed when I talked to a lady friend.
She's stunned.  She's known me for years and has never heard that "tone" in my voice.
I drive towards home and do a search on my phone for nearby places....
They all seem to be "Salons" as opposed to barber places.
Driving down the Washington Strip, I grab something to eat at a local drive thru taco place. (its much better than it sounds)  Finding a nice shaded place to enjoy my comfort food, I sat there and ate two of them when I glanced down the road and spotted a place just off the main drag.
It's a BARBER!
With the distinctive pole! It's a GUY'S place!
No girly man "salon", but a MAN's place!
I barely finish my last taco when I put my car and drive the two blocks.   Inspecting it from the outside, it had all the characteristics of a guy's place.
I pull into it's small lot and walk inside to find a couple of chairs and a couple of guys sitting around.
The place is not that well kept, with only a few nick knacks around.
Jumping into the chair, I explained my situation to the tall burly "dude" cutting my hair and gave me a heartfelt sympathy.  He understood this was an "interview" haircut.
He asked me how I normally had it.
I responded that I don't remember!
All I had to do in the past was just jump into the chair!
Gently, he explained what he suspects what was done previously
It sounded right...but I told him to give it a shot anyway.  If it's not a good haircut, I was just going to shave it off.
Yes. I'm that militant.
Turns out, it looks pretty good.

I'll just have to see my friends for a unbiased opinion.
That and they can laugh at me for acting like such a freakin' girl.

Now all I have to do is shave the beard.  It's gotten on my nerves.....I might do it tonight. :)



EDIT:   Included pics (thanks starfish!) and I still haven't shaven.  I'm Rockin' the Taliban look!

Cranial Ex-lax a mid year recap!

You know, I with Sharon's parting, its kinda' hard not to take the departure and my lack of successful dating in stride at times.
I was bemoaning my problems with a couple of people when they just looked at me like I was insane.  From what I have been *TOLD*, my I've been a rather prolific dater.
Really?
Prolific?
IS that something to strive for?
A couple of fellow blogger friends have commented that they wished they dated/Laid as much as I have.
What?  Really?

Feel free to skip this portion and go to see the women in my past.
Let's do a mid-year recap:

I've dated EIGHT (8) women since I've started this blog.
Believe it or not there have been two or three others that were so insigificant that I erased them from my memory!

One is a workahalic mother of 7 (or is that 6?) kids who was freshly divorced and proclaimed herself too insane to date.  Plus she didn't like my hobby.*  Several drama filled months of that crap.

Next was a psychic reader/hippy chick (translation: would have been KINKY!) who had some financial and distance issues.  Disaster was written all over it. Done.

Lumens, who we went on a date or two and then disappeared after she said she found a different job and boyfriend.

Then there was KS, a chick who initially answered a gangbang ad and then thought about dating as well.  Oddly enough, she saw me nude on the first "date" at a party and haven't seen her since.**

Lauren, Lovely woman. I liked her, but I don't think there was any chemistry. It was somewhat a relief when she pulled the cord and jumped off.

Latina:*** was hoping for some sort of connection as far as heritage goes****, only to find out she has some really odd ticks and has some strange conspiracy theories.

Teaser: The first girl who googled my original email and found this blog and made me go into a total panic.  We've met in, what I think, a bad case of timing.  I have some drama and work issues that is taking quite a bit of my time, while she is innudated with work and having time issues as well. Not to mention she's thinking of heading out of state.

I mean, C'mon!
Yes, that's only a partial list of the women I've dated, but you get the point.
While I don't plan on giving up dating, you can see how it's a bit daunting.
Just hard to figure out what women are thinking at times when they put themselves out there.  There have been a few expectations where they want every man they meet is a male hunk with blonde hair, blue eyes, that earns 6 figures.

How can a typical putz compete with such expectations?




*God knows what she would have said if she knew the entire extent of it.
**Maybe that had something to do with it? 
***What's up with all the "L"s?
**** Remind me to write a rant about Latin/Mexican chicks on why I generally don't date them.

Dating in The Dark aftermarth of week 1.

I know this is a bit late, but better than never...at least for me.

The format was very challenging to those inside, and I liked that they didn't pick "pretty people" or "Trolls" but, what I feel are, normal looking people.

What I thought was fascinating was the psychological torture they were putting themselves into, and the assignments that the show put them simply reinforced their, what I think, fears of being rejected.

I was quite disappointed with "Christina" in not showing up for her date.  Not only was she the one that seemed to get more intimate than the other couples, but she seemed to make a big deal of how the guy (seth) meshed quite well with her.

With that exception, I was pleased that the other two seemed to get past their initial anxiety and resolved to try to date afterwards.

PERSONALLY, I think the biggest surprise for me was Melenie and Allister (The blonde and the Aussie, I believe).  They were both charming and was the couple I was rooting for, particularly after they both confided qutie a bit to each other.

The next weekend should prove to be quite interesting from what the previews have revealed.

An experiment in dating...

Anyone that has dated for any amount of time (everyone on the planet), you know that there is always a huge amount of pressure when it comes to dating.
You have to not only look for someone that appeals to you, but critizing yourself to make sure YOU appeal to THEM.

Tonight there is a show called "Dating in the dark" that seems to bring a topic on dating. In many ways, it's quite like online dating in a sense that you will not be able to see who you're talking to.  However, the difference is that you can sense, feel, and hear your date, but you can't see them.  From my understanding of the show, the whole "meeting" and getting to know of the person will take place completely in the dark.  Several of the commercials have shown that a number of the "contestants" consider looks high on their priority list.


The interesting part of it is how they will react once they see who they eventually got to "know" in the dark room.  Will they get to really like the personality they is presented in the dark room and then "dislike" what they see?

I'm not that much into looks, but rather be more into their personality.  Now if you find a good looking guy/girl with a stunning personality, and from personal experience; a rarity.

I won't be home for the show, but I plan on TiVo'ing it a bit later and look forward to it.

Cranial Fecal Matter

Blogging (of different genre's) has always been a way for some of us to document our lives, the world around us, to make a difference, or simply be our own cheap therapy session.

Being a Dating blogger (as well a Sex blogger), what we post on here, for the most part, is a snippet of our lives. A snapshot, if you will.  Different snap shots at different times and places.  Very rarely will anyone make the abstract jump as to HOW we get from here to there. 
It's akin to taking a trip starting from one end of the nation to the other, tell you I'm there; but not mentioning the route I took, the foods that were eaten, or the oddities that are seen, witnessed, or done.
In quite a few ways, I feel like I'm cheating you (the eight readers that read this drivel) by not saying what happened in between the stories that I have posted.
While, I'm not proclaiming that my life, in any way, shape, or form is something that I would even consider fascinating,  I am open to comments or questions to both of my blogs as to what happened in between posts. While it may not be fascinating to me, it might fill in an answer for you.

I got that out of the way:

Unless I wish to start an additional blog (under this or another pseudonym) in which I'd talk about other things that interest me. My drivel might start being even more....drivel-ish. Due to my life being in a bit of a hectic, my dating has come to an abrupt stop, but I am still doing the occasional CL for playmates/Girlfriends.
The things I've been considering writing about things that occur to me on a daily basis, or wish to open a dialogue about things. My reading list, is a bit of a clue on my interests, but my life isn't simply contained between my legs (although, to be honest, I would LOVE for someone to be constantly between them), but rather in my mind that is in a frenzy search of answers.

A wide variety of questions always seem to come into my head but with few people to talk about it with and explore.  It's not that I don't' have a close group of friends or even friends with high intelligence, but more like topics that simply doesn't register as having any importance in their lives.  

Questions of "Are you or I considered 'evil' to other people?", "If Hitler got accepted to Art school, what would the world be like?", "What is it like to be in Hawking's or Einstein's brain?", "How in the world did someone have the guts to TRY to eat a ginger root?", and "Do Assholes KNOW they're assholes?"


There is so much in my head, but I realize quite a number of you probably don't care of what goes on inside my head, but hey; It's my blog and if I get this caffeinated again, lord knows what you'd find.


FYI: This post took an hour and a half to write and deleted 90% of it.  Heaven help y'all if I decide to post the echos in my head.

Absence of Malice...

I have been asked a number of times if I feel bitter towards the women that I have dated through Craig's list.

With little hesitation, I can honestly say, "No."  Considering how many women I've been with over the years, is rather extraordinary, I would imagine.  I don't have any sense of bitterness of any of the women that I have met over the entirety of my "dating career".   If anything, I miss quite a few of them and I had wished it had worked out better and came out with more of them as friends with all of them instead of just a few.

All of the women that I have met recently were wonderful people; it's just some were a bit crazier than others.
Even when I speak of the mother of my child (spit), I wish her the best; but I would be lying if I didn't have some small amount of glee when I hear some form of comeuppance occur to her because of some idiocy has come back to hit her from some years past.
 
But I digress.

Every single one of the women I have dated, I wished the best. Period.  I want them all to have glorious lives and to be happy.*
There is no comprehension of how some people have a tendency to simply have ugly breakups, but perhaps I was lucky.

Some of the nightmares I've heard that I never had to endure:

Financial(Stolen or embezzled from, Owed, assets not returned, bills not paid, arguments over money),
Mental (Abuse**, degraded**, forced to watch too many chick flicks or the Oxygen Network for hours at a time), or Physical Trauma (Physical and sexual abuse**, Shot, stabbed, anything you should appear on Springer on, etc).

I guess I should consider myself quite lucky, because if any of that occured, I would simply walk away and I would have some negative feelings for those.

* Except that one mentioned previously.
**Non Consenual, that is..

Reading List

These are my current and past reading lists.  The reason I'm making this list is that I hear great books I want to read but I forget to buy them.  I hope to correct this with buying a kindle in the NOT too distant future.  This will give you a slight taste of what I'm like and how my mind might work.
I may be functionally illiterate, but I do like to read when I can.
Feel free to comment or make recommendations in either comments or in email.  Yes, there is a brain behind the penis, but like your typical male, one is slightly bigger than the either.


As of 7/10/09

Currently reading:

"Wired for Warfare" by P.W. Singer


In queue: 

"Future Jihad" by Walid Phares
Supercapitalism by Robert B. Reich
"The Big Switch" By Nicholas Carr
"American On Purpose" by Craig Ferguson

Previous:
"Monster of Florence" by Douglas Preston
"Unwind" by Neal Shusterman
"The Adventure of English" by Melvyn Bragg
"Malcolm X" by Alex Haley
"An Inconvenient Book" by Glenn Beck
The Early books written by "David Eddings"
"Sole Survivor" by Marcus Luttrell

Random odd shit

First off, I'm dressed and ready.

Not going to get super dressed because I have to work tonight and want to be comfortable, but I want to show I CAN clean up properly.

Another thing that has been going through my mind is religion.
Having been raised Catholic, it took quite a bit to change my outlook on life and free myself of most of those bonds, but I have always held on (in a kinda of love/hate kinda' way) to my faith of sorts. I mean, considering what I like to do and have lived my life, I can SO burn in hell.

Then that's when I realized a cool factor with Catholicism; we can confess and all our sins would be forgiven.
I imagine it's akin to writing all your sinful actions on an etch a sketch (albeit a large one for me), handing it to a priest (or God, whatever), having him turn it over and shake it; WOO! Clean slate!

Last night I had several odd dreams, one of which I had a beard when I met my date and she ran away.
Not that I blame her, I tried growing a beard several years ago, I gave up when I figured I was going to look like a Taliban member that smelled of Old Spice.

My other dream related to what I touched briefly in my last post: How to see how kinky they are?

In my head I asked her after the 2nd date (I'm an optimist)the following:
"What would you say to a threesome, either with guys or girls?"
"Do you believe in 'Barny's' saying, 'Caring means sharing' applies sexually as well?"
"What are your thoughts on Anal play and orgies?"
"If you're not into (name kink) do you mind if I have someone on the side that is?"

There were a few more, but I can't remember them. Each one ended in either a slap or me waking up in a cold sweat.

The Preliminaries for a Latin Flavors

I totally forgot to call her on Thursday, Friday, AND Saturday.
Sorry.  I've been BUSY!
Apparently, I didn't slip her mind because she called me Saturday night to let me know she was still around.
Okay.
Apparently I didn't piss her off with my poo-poo-ing her conspiracy theories.
We talked a bit longer and told me about what was going on in her life and mine for a few hours on the phone.
Looking at my calender, I decided to take the plunge and asked her if she wanted to meet at a popular place near where she lives.
She agreed to this, but I had to give her a general idea of what time.  Considering the part of town she was in and the general time it was, traffic was going to be a total nightmare. 
Additionally, she lived within five minutes of the place and readily agreed to the vagueness of time for the reasons I gave.
We talked a bit more until it was time for her to go get some sleep.

Now that the date has been set, I've been over thinking things again;  in particularly sex.
Again, I said that I'm going to be chaste; but at what point is a good time to say;

"By the way, I like orgies and gangbangs.  How about you?"

Just a quick one...

Since I've been laid up, I've literally had nothing to do but watch movies, curse my cat, and read blogs.
Hell, I can't even really talk on the phone because of this blasted cough, but I can drive for short periods of time just to get out of this bloody place.

On my other blog, I recently was talking about a blog going away that I'm going to miss, but there has been a close call with another blog. After going through a rough patch with some people associated with, she thought about taking the blog private.  Due to a barrage of comments asking her not to give in, she decided to keep posting like she had done so previously.  It is my hope that this will stem the tide of some very popular blogs that have been going to black in the past few months, among my favorites, which is a shame.


This is an example of why I always tell people to keep the details of their blogs vague enough where people can't pinpoint information about them.  
I happen to live in a large city, and therefore am able to hide more easily, even though I give some details that yet to be seen on any other blogs.  My expectations are that there is enough traffic overall that people won't be able to pin down who is who.

In my last post, I mentioned my fondness of certain movies and what my idealized (maybe totally unrealistic) view of romance.  Well, so happens they are running "The Quiet Man" on TMC on the 17th of March at 8PM EST.
Given this is on St. Patrick's day, everyone should be a bit on the bombed side, so be sure to set up your TiVos or other DVR's. 
I think you ladies might appreciate the movie, though.

On the dating front, I got a nice little offline IM from Andi;
"Haven't heard from you in awhile, how have you been? Call me?"
OMG, is she serious?
After giving it a couple of hours, debating whether or not to reply, I tapped in my message:
"You already know the deal, or haven't you been listening?"

Hopefully she will get the hint, or she simply doesn't want to let go.

My Fantasy, My Wish, My Happily Ever After...IDEALLY

Earlier in the evening, I had a nice casual date with Lauren at a nice little TGIF's (Ew).  She had some personal problems over the past weekend and we talked about it a great deal before we got to talking about things in general.   Just like with Katy, it was a nice casual talk about nothing.  She noted that I didn't look like my mutual self and asked if I had fully recovered, a coughing fit a few seconds later answered her question.
It was a good dinner and I think we needed it to establish whether or not our rapport was genuine. I'm still trying to make up my mind about it.  Making a mental note, I need to try to go out with her more to see if there is a connection there.

Bear with me, I'm all hopped up on Nyquil and Cough Syrup on only a few hours of sleep and if this post makes absolutely no sense, don't worry, I'll edit it when I'm sober-ish.

I'm sitting up emptying out my TiVo of all the programs that have been piling up in the past.  The only things that are on are a few movies that I like watching over and over whitch are VERY idealized romantic movies called, "The Quiet Man" and "The American President."
In fact, right now I'm watching "The Quiet Man" and I get a bit wispy watching it.
Yes.
Me.
The guy who has been a single guy forever who, up until recently, didn't think anything about one night stands.
Fact is, that the two movies are the way I want my IDEALIZED relationship to be.
TQM in particular strikes a chord, for the few girls that haven't discovered the movie, it basically deals with a man (John Wayne) coming back to his roots and falls in love with a traditional girl and hell insues as he tries to make sense of traditions and the silliness he sees on courtship.
God damnit, I WANT the silliness.
Without giving too much away, I am a bit of a traditionalist in some things.  I want someone with the same (general) common background.
No, I don't want a happy house wife; I want a partner. 
I want a woman who I will gladly fight for, and a woman who will not only fight FOR me, but fight against my own stupidity.
Yes. I acknowledge the fact that we men, have a tendency to be more than a little stupid at times.
The way I see it, our spouses are supposed to bring out the best in the people they share their life with.

Okay, so sometimes we may do it kicking as screaming, but in the end, we generally need it.

Well, maybe I'm just talking about myself, but you may nod silently to yourself and I won't tell.


The thing is that I want a woman that has the same basic traditions that I do; who won't bend over to my will and stand up to me when its needed.

Thing is, I thought I came fairly close to that a few times and I was hoping I struck gold recently, but it wasn't meant to be.
To add to being "traditional" as far as a relationship or marriage goes, IDEALLY she would like some of my interests as well.
I know I've discussed this in a previous post, but it still bugs me on what I TRULY want in a relationship and which would win out the most?
If looking for both qualities in a woman, would that lead me on a chase for the Holy Grail that I may never find?  Would it be enough for me to only find half of what I'm looking for to give up looking for either that "Traditional" girl or "Nympho?"

It just makes me wonder.

Excuse me, I have to go ponder sobering up before I go to sleep.

I need a job

Well, not really.

After a few initial responses to my ad, it seems like a number of them were turned off by my job.
It's not a sexy job, nor is it a low paying job, but I guess it's not the typical 9 to 5 job that ladies want a man to have.
So far the only ones that haven't shied away from it are KM and Lumens.
What I've been thinking of doing is telling them outright what job I have or make up a job that is REALLY bad that will see if that will dissuade them in some way.

A couple of suggestions friends have made is:

Dog Catcher
Road Kill Cleanup.
Crime Scene Cleanup
Slaughter House Dude
Tax Collector.

Yes, this all sounds lame, but then again, so are the ladies who stop writing/calling after I tell them what I do for a living.

I'm totally open to suggestions.