Why do they come back?

For the past couple of weeks it just seems that old girlfriends come out of the woodwork, within 3 weeks, Andi, Stella, and Stormcloud have contacted me.

Andi has been chatting off and on with me for the past several weeks.  Having decided that I was going to be a passive participant in this by simply giving basically one or two word responses to her various questions and the occasional pauses of what was going on in HER life. She had made more of a concerted effort to contact me, but I really didn't see a point in it.

We didn't discuss US, we didn't talk about good old times.  We simply talked about how our separate lives.
I finally had to question her motives to calling me about nothing.  Most of my friends who call me, we bitch about each other's lives, make plans for dinner, talk about kids, SOMETHING.
But not her.
"What is your point in calling me? I thought we finished this conversation a few months ago." I asked as I tried to keep my temper in check.
"Just want to...I miss you.." She started to say in a quiet voice.
"We're not dating, and I seriously doubt I'm on your dating radar again." I replied.
"Never say never."
Fine. Whatever.
I then discussed how hard it was going back into the dating pool and thought I'd mention how difficult it was to find someone with the same kinks.
She was curious.
I listed them.  We called it "The Grocery List."
There was silence with only the occasional acknowledgment.

After I was done, I waited.

"Some of it seems quite fascinating. You know, I need to go to bed, got to get to the gym in the morning." was the only thing she could say.
"Okay, see you later, bye." as I closed the phone and threw it the phone at the couch in frustration.

Within 24hrs, Stella and Stormcloud Contacted me.

Late into the evening yesterday, I was on the couch semi-dozing, recovering from several days without little sleep when I my phone buzzed with a text msg.
Pushing the cat off, I reached for the phone on the floor, I saw that it wasn't anyone on my contact list.
"[daughter's name] is going to a baseball game with the in-laws.  She's excited to be in town and hopes to see you."
The fog from my doze cleared instantly.
Fuck! It was Stella!
I ignore the msg.   I was done with her.  I refuse to get myself involved with her.   So I ignore the text and go on with my evening.
This evening, I get another text; "She says that the astros aren't doing well.  Can you meet her for drinks after the game?"
What? Is she out of her head?
It took some effort, but I ignored the text.  I don't plan on answering it, but I'm stupid enough to keep it on my phone.  If I had any brains, I'd delete it as soon as I finish this entry.

Finally, Stormcloud.
God bless her, but no.  She calls me up at 4am yesterday.  Instead of a friendly conversation, she starts in on about her financial problems, the problems with her daughter and in-law and such.  I initially was about to offer her some cash (again), until she mentioned a boyfriend.
AWESOME! I'm (hopefully!) FREE!
After listening to about 20 minutes of conversation, as usual, my mood was dropped to the point where even the pope would consider suicide as a form of bliss and would waive the "sin" if I would do it.
On the 8th try, I finally was able to pry a polite way to hang up.


Geeze. I ask again, why don't they just leave me alone and just delete me?

Finally, I have Teaser:
We haven't had a chance to meet, nor have we had even an opportunity to talk on the phone because of our schedules.
Having chatted some more, she seemed more at ease with our potential to date than she had previously.
Since she had discovered my blogs, I tried to spin it as "Hey! you know more of me than most people would when they first meet someone!" and spelled out that she had the advantage.

The more we talked, the more she seemed to enjoy me and I seemed to enjoy her intellect as well and we both agreed that we have a nice mesh of kinks.
I might get more into that, but it made me think that perhaps a list of my kinks might be needed; a "grocery list" if you will.

Ohwell, I think it's time for a nap.

Cast Of Characters.

Updated 12/15/09

A list of women that I considered, or have, dated over the past couple of years. Latina and Lauren are on the top of the list because they are the ones that I've had more history with and could potentially be more involved in my life. Storm cloud is only mentioned briefly, because dating is not an option. Sharon is only mentioned briefly because she's not on my "dating" radar. Most of the people on my "Hobby" blog, because I don't really intend to have a lasting "dating" relationship. If they make it on my "Dating" blog, then okay.

Yeah, I know. It confuses me too.
It's my blog, deal with it.

Football Fan: She is a woman about 5 years my junior. Led a bit of a kinky lifestyle as well and had an incredible"first meeting." We've recently started talking about kids, she wants another, but is perfectly fine with my being done with kids. So far we seemed to fit quite well, there are a few minor issues and bumps, but so far everything is good. Got to meet the kids and it wasn't too telling so far. But that's the next step.

Teaser: Met and went on a date in just over a week, but considering the circumstances, I don't know if we can do a date thing. She stated that she had been in the lifestyle previously, but wasn't inclined on going down that road, but she did seem to be slightly interested in my hobby. She seems very bright and you can tell there is a sexual side of her that made me drool a bit when we first met and I'm looking forward to our next date. I'm not just typing this because she might be reading it. In the end, I don't think anything is going to come out of it, so I'm just going to let it simmer. We still talk occasionally, though.

Andi: Lady friend that I had been seeing for about two years, but for some reason, dropped me like a hot potato during a trip. It sucked hard. She never knew of my Hobby, and after our last big blow up, she has been rather persistent in contacting me, but our "vibe" never came back and wasn't interesting in contacting her again so I tried scare her off, only to find out it's something she wants to do. She hints that I shouldn't give up on her, but since Teaser isn't a sure thing, I'm keeping my options open. For now.

Latina: Nice girl, we got along quite well politically, but she had weird opinions on moon landings and such. After a couple of days of losing contact with each other, I figured I'd just pull the plug.

KM: Were "semi-dating" we liked each other, but the scheduling really isn't conducive for a typical relationship. The challenges at the beginning of our dating was unreal, but I REALLY liked her, since she is fresh out of a divorce, she doesn't seem to handle the dating scene. We got our issues resolved for the most part, we seem to enjoy sex with each other, but still quite a road to travel. We have talked since that episode, so we're still cool. It's done. She couldn't handle the fact that she didn't "desire" to see me, particularly with her busy schedule. So, for now we're "Friends", she doesn't want a casual sexual relationship, so for now on...I am no longer calling her. It's over, at least that's what I keep telling myself. Unfortunately, I still find myself near where she lives and works, so I have to fight the urge to tell her that I miss her. She tried contacting me again recently, but I think I totally screwed it up to the point where I probably will never hear from her again.

Lauren: We got along well and turns out we have a few things we have in common. We fit fairly well, except for our schedules, but in the end, another person she was dating was starting to turn a bit serious, so she decided to call it off.


Stella: Someone that I dated in the past. Always bailed her out of whatever mess she wound up in. Her ability to make crucial life decisions was incredibly deficient. Since she called again recently, she's been suffering with medical issues which were a direct result of her not following my advice. We lost contact with each other, but every couple of years she manages to find me. It's tormenting to hear her, I know she needs me, but I can't always be there to bail her out when she makes shitty decisions. Haven't heard from her since the last post I mentioned her in. I hope it stays that way, but I will always Love and miss her. She tried contacting me recently when her daughter came into town, but I never returned her texts.

Sharon: Initially she was the Married Anonymous Psycho (she still is psycho, but not anonymous...to me), who apparently likes to be roughed up and forced. She's Batshit crazy. Period. Dating isn't an option for this one and since has left town because of a divorce.

Storm Cloud: Is someone I have been "seeing" off and on for at last 15 years. We used to date, but came with some really wild luggage. We maintained our sexual relationship (a bit) during her Marriage. Currently I'm HER booty call. It's nice to know I have one talent she enjoys. I believe she FINALLY moved in with her boyfriend and that means we probably won't see each other again. Believe it or not, it's a bit of a relief.

KS: A perspective person for dating who happens to also enjoy my hobby. Didn't work out, apparently, she thought I was skeezy or something. whatever.


Lumens: Someone that was originally on the OTHER blog, but we might actually start dating, but I'm not entirely sure. She has a slim build and is attractive, but ordinarily not my type as far as personality goes. But I'm willing to give her a fair shot. Who knows, I could be surprised! She wasn't for me, but she will be more involved in my other blog as I ramp up more parties. Has pretty much dropped off the face of the earth after getting a new job and boyfriend.

GD: "Psychic chick" is what her moniker should have been. Totally sweet person, but she had too much in her life going on, plus she was also moving into another drama filled episode of her life. I wish her well, I really do.

S: Was dating material, but after the party, she went a little insane. Later did I find out that she was like super hard core left wing. We're talking Hanging out with Cindy Sheehan, nuts. Left me a 4 page hate letter with several bullet points because I didn't call her enough. She was intense AND crazy. Pity she was my kind of kinky.

Anonymous One: This is going to make me sound bad. But I REALLY don't remember her name. I liked her, but the distance was too great and eventually blew it off. She understood and only talked once or twice after this adventure.

The Funk and the Fuck....

Having thought about my last post for a few hours, I was thinking of deleting it and dismissing it as my having a childish outburst, but before I hit the delete button and realized that it was something real I was feeling that brought me to this moment.
While it isn't rational and it WAS a bit childish, it was something that I was feeling, good or bad. I felt particularly so after reading Aurore's post that affected her. While THIS blog is totally different from hers, the fact is that life isn't always edited to show perfection. It's ugly, raw, and hurtful, but like OEN's Blog, there can be a mixture of Silliness, irony, and mayhem if you just look for it.

To be honest, after the last post, I went on a bit of a funk and gave myself the day off to gather my thoughts and see what I want to do.

As usual, odd things have an odd sense of timing. My phone rang and it was Stormcloud, who is an ex girlfriend that I remained friends with. She always seemed to have the worst luck in the world financially, jobs, and life in general. I kept our friendship because I seemed like I was the only consistent thing in her life. Usually she only called me when she needed a shoulder to cry on. This time however, she wanted my company in a physical sense.
When I got there a couple of hours later, we chatted like we always did. Without any preliminaries, we simply walked into the bedroom and started getting dressed.
While I don't consider that we Made Love, I think we simply needed each other and we were good with that.

No, I won't get into the nitty gritty about that, this is NOT that kind of blog.
After sex, we laid next to each other watching TV while she dozed.
Unfortunately, I had to leave since she was on a different sleeping schedule than I was.
She understood this and walked me to the door.
Having kissed me goodbye, she closed the door and locked it as I headed towards my car in this small suburban town.
It was a long drive home, but I felt much better compared to a few hours ago.