Making a return appearence....So long Teaser

While contemplating another post, my phone buzzed with an email I and habitually picked it up:

Initially the name at the header didn't seem familiar at first and then I read the first line:

"Hey, how've you been? For some reason I've been thinking a lot about you the past few days. I think I miss you!"

I stared at the email for a few more seconds and suddenly recalled that it was Teaser!
The gist of the email was she didn't feel ready to be in a relationship was also apologizing for being a "jerk" (she wasn't being one).

We haven't talked in quite awhile, but I gave her a VERY brief rundown on what has happened in my life, but I didn't give specifics.

Having never said bye to hear, I think THAT door closed on its own quite some time ago.

Meet the kids and a small change...

The phone buzzed early on saturday morning.

Reaching over the offending object, I will an eye to open up.
It seemed to take forever for it to comply with my suggestion, but it relented.

FF: "We still on for today?"
My eye slammed shut.

Today. Today is.....Sunday? No...it's saturday...
My mind was still warming up.   The hamsters take awhile to get out of the straw.
What was Saturday?
I remember the timestamp on the Text..

Noon? 1pm?*

I give up and will my eyes to look at the text again.
12:30.
Close enough.
But what was today?  We NEVER meet on Saturdays!
Besides, this was the weekend she has her kids - oh fuck! - her kids!

I bolt out of bed and on the way to the shower, request movie times.

On the way into the shower, I hold a 3 minute debate on whether or not I should shave my beard. 
Screw it. No time.

I make it to the more or less at the time I agreed and after severely depleting my wallet with the tickets and concession stand, we make our way to the seats.

We talked for a couple of minutes, but nothing of substance, FF and I simply settled back and watched the movie. Behaving ourselves, we just managed to sneak in a peck on the cheek and a hug.

The "Date" ended as I had to head off to work, but I don't think it was an important enough of a meeting for the kids, but it was important enough for FF.

It was later she heard an exchange with one of her kids and a buddy of his.

"So..how was your mom's new boyfriend?"
"He's cool, I guess."

Good enough for her.


Additionally, I'm taking myself off the "Dating" market.  We'll see if this lasts. 



*Yes. That's early.

Out of the blue...

I will get back to my past adventures with FF a bit later:

Currently, I'm under siege a bit.

Andi and I have been talking a bit more than usual.  She's asking quite a bit about FF and my life. She seems to be coming around that, as long as I'm seeing FF, there is nothing there for her.

Stella, on the other hand, has no clue and sent me the following text last week:

"My RIV, please call or Txt.  I'm planning on being in town for my bday and would like to see you.  Will be staying with friends."

I ignore the text for several days and then I get the following:

"I wish you would talk to me."

Once again, I ignore it.

2 hours later, I get a phone call:

"Hey."  It was her! Fuck!
"Hey." 
We went on to talk about things in general and finally I had to tell her that it was over between us.
Too much time passed and I told her about FF.
Never one to miss an opportunity, she says that it's okay, but wanted to see me to just talk, but if I wanted to bring her along I could.

OH NO!  Bad idea!
After a few more minutes, I was noncommittal and we hung up and my heart started to return back to normal.

I'm wondering if perhaps meeting her for a last time to show her I'm not interested.

Nah, I'd think I'd wind up fucking her.
God she was good!

A moment of panic.

In the middle of working, I got the following:

"Baby...as a reward for finishing classes. Want to take kids and I to the movies Saturday afternoon?"

The second sentence hit me like a thunderbolt.
Isn't this a BIT soon?  She IS freshly divorced.

I mean, she has that fresh divorce smell, a hubby that is hyper-sensitive (even though he initiated it).

10 minutes later, I pick up the phone and we discuss this.
I lost.
Of course, I didn't try that hard to win.
It has begun.
With a whimper a new stage of the relationship has started.


In my gut I still feel its WAAAAY too early to be introduced as "The Boyfriend" to her kids, but I can't think of a proper time to do it.

Aw fuck.

One door opens wider, and trying shutting another.

 The progression between FF and I as a couple, seems to be moving forward.
Seems like she wants me to meet the kids within the next few weeks or so.
Personally, I think it's a bit too soon, but it's something she wants to happen, so I'm not going to argue too much about it.

She continues to tell me about her variety of Craig's list posts and responses she confessed that one in which one that she answered for a massage went much further than she intended.  She asked if I would be opposed to go one with her.

My comment was that I'd probably make it worse and have both of the guys do her instead.
She just giggled about it and we let the matter drop.  Either way, things seems to be on the road to be more serious between us.


Since she still actively goes on CL for a variety of reasons, I'm not going to get into too much of what she specifically looks for or anything.



A few hours later, as I was writing ANOTHER post, Andi came up on one of my IM's.


Andi says:
 Hello
 how was your thanksgiving?
RIV says:
 Hey there. how are you?  Doing okay, worked it mostly.
Andi says:
 so whats new?
RIV says:
 Not too much. Might be meeting my g/fs kids in a week or two.

Andi says:
 cool
 Nervewracking ..meeting the kids huh?
 oh wow
 RIV says:
 Yes, I think it's a bit soon, but if that's what she wants, I can't really argue about it.  She's the best judge on that.
If things work out, I might get married sometime in the next two years or so as well, but we'll see.*
Andi says:
 oh wow
 thats great 
RIV says:
 yeah, she's freshly divorced, so I have to take it easy.
Andi says:
 I get that
 Meeting the kids is a big step..so one thing at a time
RIV says:
 I'm sure you do, the divorce was final just recently.
Andi says:
 Okay
 I could think of no other appropriate response to that ..lol
RIV says:
 LOL. not much you can say to that, really.
Andi says:
 I guess not
RIV says:
 I've been rather gunshy with divorcee's as of late.. had two other ones bail because they weren't ready.
Andi says:
 I dont blame you there..i dated way before I was ready and well it was a disaster
 I am in a much better place now
RIV says:
 Exactly.
 Which is why I'm actively encouraging her to meet other guys.
Andi says:
 Okay
 I can see that
 Can I tell you something?
RIV says:
 sure.
Andi says:
 I feel like everytime I talk to you , I want to tell you thanks for talking to me again.. I know it sounds nuts but thanks for the second chance.
RIV says:
 Oh. Okay.
 To be honest with you, you didn't get a second chance.  You dropped off my dating radar.
Andi says:
 I know that but I am glad we can be friends at least
 i am the same way as you , I am not forgiving when people are like I was.
 I can close a chapter with the best of them
Rick says:
 surely.
Andi says:
 Its a regret though.. but anyway I should finish this marketing project
 Have a good night..
RIV says:
 G'nite.
Andi says:
 thanks for clarifying that for me, I assumed as much. have a really good christmas in case I dont catch you. I am really glad to hear things are working out for you.  But I am sorry about us.
RIV says:
 No problem.  Take care.
Andi says:
 One last thing, its the most important. I hope you get all the happiness you deserve, you are priceless.

With that, she logged off before I had a chance to reply.  


I continued working on that "OTHER" post and a few minutes later, she was back and the conversation turned decidedly sexual in tone.


This is NOT what I was expecting after that chat.  
We wound up watching part of the Star Wars marathon together and had the oddest convos.


"Luke would be such a BORING lay" would be one of the comments uttered by her.
"How does Darth Masturbate in that thing?" she said at one point.
"Probably uses the 'Force'." I typed without even a pause to think about it. 


Somehow, in our typical rambling way, the conversation turned to the parties I throw**, and hinted she'd be interested, but I can't be there unless I was her "partner."


A few minutes after it started to turn into cybersex, I just said I needed to go to bed and called it a night and told her I had to get ready for bed. 
I'm sure it was quite frustrating for her.  


A few minutes later I got a text from her, "I never seen you run so fast before."
I ignored it and crashed.


* While I'm not sure if FF and I are going there anytime soon, I'd thought I'd throw that out there to see if I can plant that I really don't want her contacting me.  I can be TOO subtle at times.  
** She doesn't know the extent or the blog, and I doubt if she ever will. 

You know you're busy when....

....you have over 300 posts blinking at you from various bloggers.

Starfish and I have been either very busy or sick, so the writing is coming along VERY slowly. 
For the 3 or 4 readers I have left, I just ask you to be patient.

I HAVE to start writing because there is much to share since I've been home!

Really.
I promise.
This week.
Maybe.

Okay, maybe next week.

Incidentals, updates, emails, etc...

I've been far too busy to put up regular posts on things, so this is a heavily abridged version.

-Updates:

FF and I have been getting along just fine, met up a few times here and there, but our conflicting schedules will make it almost impossible for us to meet for the  next couple of weeks.
Theoretically.  It might be sooner.

One of the things she mentioned was that she was still going on "dating interviews" with other guys.
She complained how some were running the spectrum of the reasons as why she was rejecting them.
When she got down to "He was too 'Hand-sy'" I had to simply pull over and laugh.

"Really?"
"Yes, he was too forward."
"Compared to OUR first meeting??"
She allowed that we WERE a BIT comfortable with each other and droned on for a bit about it.
I just let it pass.

She asked if I was okay with it, and I totally played it cool.  Last thing I need is ANOTHER instance of a woman backing off because she wasn't ready.


Within the past couple of days, she's been particularly moody, she snapped out of one of her bouts to confide that the decree has been written up and that the divorce should be final within a week or so.
After telling me this, she breaks down over the phone and just hates it and wonders why he's being an ass about some issues.
I calm her down a bit and told her I understood, but that the road doesn't end there, when it comes to divorce with kids, it'll extend out for years.

She didn't like that response, but I thought it would be best not to mince words on the truth:  Divorce is ugly.
Calming down after a bit, she wanted to continue the convo on text because she didn't feel like she can hold it together.

"I'm sorry, I'm acting this way, it's my first divorce."
Yeah. It sucks.

Comments/Emails:

Quite a few people have asked why don't we just "get a room" and it's quite simple, because of her situation, she needs to be able to get home fairly quickly, so with the exception of a date a bit ago we stick to necking in cars.

Plus if feels dirty that way...dirty is fun.

There is also a need for her to be fairly close to home, the unique nature of the custody of the kids, doesn't allow me to tell any specifics about it.  Basically, she needs to be able to get home in a fairly short amount of time on short notice.

A day at the opera/Cheap hotel sex!

Saturday
We set up a date, hoping for a "celibate" get together and hoping for a showing of "Aida" during the Met's opera season, in which I hope to be a regular attendee and  I wanted to know if she can appreciate such things since she's never been exposed to it.
During the showings, she seemed very interested and seemed to react accordingly. During one of the intermissions, a charming older woman, who I have seen but never met, started up a chit-chat about the opera and previous performances and such and criticism about this and other productions.
No, I'm not an Opera expert, but I DO have certain opinions.
Poor FF.  She seemed so lost at some of my opera jokes. ("Less oboe! Less Oboe!")
Later she admitted to me that she was not used to not being one of the "Smarter" people in the room.  I said a few things to settle down her ego a bit.  Just the same, she was out of her element and she wasn't used to it.
After the lights went on, we got out of the theater, walked to her car, gave her a warm kiss, and a loving spank on her bottom and parted ways.
Her to her kids, and I to my work.
I quickly pulled out of my space and barely entered the roadway when I got a text msg.

FF: We behaved ourselves.

I smiled as I went down the road and parked and put in my response.

ME: Yes, we did.  See? we did it and didn't have sex.
FF:  I know! Can we have the second part of our date tomorrow?
ME:  I think we can manage that.
FF: Can we be naughty at a hotel?
ME: Naughty hotel sex? Deal.
FF: Great!

She went on to describe all sorts of dirty little things that simply tortured me that night.

Sunday Morning-ish

Now one expects that an afternoon full of delights would enable one to simply pop up easily from getting off at about 4am.
No Sirree!
The glare of day had me groaning as I blindly reach for the phone.
I was greeted by a swipe of my Bitchcat's paw.
On my second attempt I retrieved the phone and pried a working eyeball at the small digits.
FUCK! 10am!
I fly -well, stumble really- out of bed, shower and give her a call as I started heading to the shower to confirm our sex marathon.

I wanted something fairly close to her home so she can see to her kids if something had to interrupt us, so that  limited in my choices. Texting her to start driving towards where we met and I quickly searched the area hotels.
Each one was full, but I had to show you this from one of the stops:

Yes, I actually took this photo.  It gave me a bit of a giggle, to say the least. I swear, you can't make stuff like this up.





We settled on one of the few empty places in a motel that had a working WIFI connection, of which she (quite sheepishly) asked for.
After renting the room, I asked her to join me at another little spot for breakfast.
I was famished since I hadn't had anything to eat yet.
She joined me for a cup of coffee* as I devoured my meal.

"Eat up, cutie. You're going to need your energy."

I stopped in mid chew, with must have been a fairly stupid looking stare. At least, more stupid looking than usual.
Her eyes smiled as she looked at me over the coffee cup as she took sip from it and then shifted over to our cars in the parking lot.
No. I'm not that stupid.
I kept on chewing as I quickly slid the room key to her and she ran for the car.
The waitress, alarmed at what seemed might be happening, I waved a $20 in the air as I gulped down as much water to wash down my, not quite finished meal and put it on the table.
She rushed over and eyed the money as I said a hasty "Good day" to her.
A 100% tip would easily pacify the ire of a waitress.
Going through the door, she waved at me as she was speeding out of the parking lot to the hotel that was listed on the key.
By the time I caught up, the door was open, her jeans were on the floor...and she was nowhere in sight.
My puzzlement was instantly answered as she came out of the bathroom wearing a skirt.
A VERY short skirt.

She turned around to apply some lipstick in the mirror and she prepared for an embrace, but she was greeted with a embrace and some neck nibbling.
Any other plans she might have had were gone in an instant as I bent her over in front of the mirror, raised her skirt and entered from behind.
Only a couple of minutes into it, she immediately dropped to her knees to taste herself on my cock and went to the bed for a nice session.
She got up to use the bathroom and asked if it was okay if she used the laptop for a bit, there was something she needed to do.
Telling her I had no problem with that, I turned on the TV and went through the limited selection in channels.
Being sunday, there was nothing on and I flipped through the channels to look for something interesting.
As a football game flickered on she showed interest.
Considering there was nothing else on, I figured it was something to watch while she was on the laptop.
I commented at the score, I was surprised that the Texans were leading.

"Yeah, they had a bigger lead earlier before the half."

I had that stupid look on my face and once again she gave me that sheepish grin.

"I was listening to it on the way in,"  she responded offhandedly.

She knows I'm a baseball guy, so I didn't really care. I was too busy focusing on a tempting bottom as she was bent at her laptop.

"What ARE you doing anyway?"
My curiosity finally got the better of me.
"You're not going to get mad are you?"
WTF?
"Uh...no. Why?"
"I'm updating my Fantasy Football stuff."
"Okay."**

15 minutes or so later, she was back to me doing a bit of snuggling and smooching.  A bit later still, I was reminded that the TV was still on and I joked that we are probably one of the few couples in America that are having a football game on while totally ignoring it, and I reached for the remote.

"Umm..", I looked down, and damnit.  There is that grin again.
"Yes?"
"I wasn't listening to the play by play, I'm just listening to the commentators."
"Wanna watch the last 10 minutes, dear?"
"You're sweet! Thank you!"
I could only just smile and shake my head as she turned away and pushed her bottom into me.

With the game finished, we proceeded for some great sessions, including pictures and vids!***
The highlight of second half (so to speak), was pinning her down in a vulnerable position with her splayed open while I bit and sucked at her breasts.
Her moans got louder and she tried to grind her pelvis into me, but I kept just out of reach.
It was after I reached down to her sex that I realized that she was not only soaked, but drenched.
Towards the end of THAT session, she told me she was having orgasm after orgasm and was obviously (to her) gushing.
She never experienced anything like that before.
Go me. :)

The sun had long set by the time we finally left the room and went to our respective cars.
She whispered to me, "You know, there is nothing like hot and dirty hotel sex."
Scooting out of my reach, she left to go pick up her kids before her soon-to-be Ex arrived.

I can't disagree with her statement.

Heading home, I relaxed at home ready for a long night of paperwork and TV.

It was at 1am when succumbed to sleep.


*being a human of the daytime, she had already eaten just before I was awake.

**Boy, can I pick a good name for them or what?
*** I'll think about posting it if I can edit it enough.

Working hard, looking for a goal, with visions in my head

Pardon me for the weird(er) shit that I'm typing out than usual.

I've been working solid since my personal Madoff, I gotta raise money for my kids college tuition and my trip to a little party I have planned, plus some other plans I have in mind.

Usually there is a sound track of what is going on in my mind and lately some young angry Billy Joel comes up:




But lately, I had a few lucky breaks and an epiphany that I simply need to let things happen and that my overall long term goals aren't as far as I had initially imagined.  What really helped was listening to this song that I "discovered" on the radio.



I think I'm going to follow that path next year and maybe a month vacation and bum around on a beach and support the local beer/vodka/Scotch industry, I work too damned much.

Celibacy...what's that? date updates and catching up.

Well, I've had two dates with her since I last wrote but I've simply been too busy with work, drama, and FF to able to keep up so here is a basic update for the 3 three readers that seem to care. :)

Our date a couple of weeks ago, we tried a simple movie night at her place.
We never made it beyond 30 minutes before clothing started to fall off.

The sex was wild, it was insane, it was JUST this side of rough.
My god how she gushed, it was awesome.
Of course, I HAD to drink up every oz I could; it would be a shame to get it on her couch.

This past weekend, we tried for the celibacy thing again.
Destination:  The Greek Festival.
Damn.  There was rain.  We divert to a mexican joint I love.
We're sitting there and talking.
I love the city.  Vibrant, colorful, tons to do.
"I hope to move near here soon." as I was scooping in some of my tasty meal.
"You like living in town?"
It was that TONE. 
"Yes, near baseball, the museums, theater, etc. I love it."
"So you're not interested in a house?"  I didn't spot it this time.
"Oh, Hell no.  I've done the house thing. Gimme a condo or townhome."
The discussion then went to how she loves the 'burbs.  The quiet.  The peace.

I almost gagged on my breakfast.
Been there. Done that. Hated it.
I mean, not that there is anything wrong with it, but it's not for ME!

The conversation was interrupted by our server and our collective ADD switched topics to a favorite topic: Food.

The date ended with a serious smooching/eating session, as usual in my car.  Go fig.

we managed to meet for a late night dinner or two and things seemed to go well.

Then yesterday I get a text:

Her: "Why do we orture ourselves with dating when we know we can't agree where to live if we're together?"







WTF? Where did THAT come from?  During some of our talks, I suggested a public school within the city that specializes in the career he was interested in.  Since she was new to the city, she had no idea it existed and seemed somewhat taken aback that such an opportunity was there.

We texted a bit furiously after that and asked her if she just wanted to call it off, she responded with the following:

"I won't bring it up again. Friend just advised me o grow up and live for what I've got and not plan for future but let things happen."

Lord how people over-analyze things when they're dating.

Empty streets....

I've had a rough couple of weeks on different levels from major to minor.   Of course, there is that little matter of FF and I.  We need to resolve some issues on our next date.  So, having a need to simply take a chance to relax and let myself decompress.

One of the great things about my job is that I simply stop what I'm doing, leave and take a bit to compose myself if I'm having a rough day (night, whatever).

Going into downtown, I pull over and take a walk for a few blocks.  I always try to have a camera with me, so I'd thought sharing what I see at night would be an interesting to see how see the world.

While I'm in a heavily populated city, it empties out after most businesses and bars close and the night shift is well underway.

This is what it's like in the middle of the night while most everyone is deep in slumber. 
I always recommend to people that they need to visit their own city late at night.   After walking a few blocks, the local security guards, occasional cop, and garbage worker and I exchange nods.   People always associate walking around downtown after dark is tantamount to asking to be mugged or worse.  Generally speaking, in this town, downtown is about as safe as walking around your own suburban neighborhood.  The thing is, to me the empty streets are simply another form of beauty.

Either way, it was a walk well needed.
You guys should try it sometime.

As you can see, it really looks different.
Enjoy the pictures.

I want my cartoon network!

You know, I've had a rough couple of days and needing some laughs, I tune into the cartoon network for some Family guy, Robot Chicken, and Metalocalypse (my newest addictions).
I'm greeted with an image that chills my heart:

Effective Sept. 22, 2009

Comcast Customers

will need to have a digital converter box in order to

receive Cartoon Network

Call 1-800Blahblahblah

My heart sank. 
No big deal.  I'll just call them later, upgrade my service a tad, get Cable Cards (to bypass the lousy box) and everything will be right in the world.

When I woke up, first thing I did was call them.*  I cheerfully asked for an upgrade and a couple of media cards.**

"Okay sir, no problem."

"Great. Didn't know how dependent I was on the Cartoon Network until it went away."

"Umm....sir? You still need the box."

"What?"

"You need to have the box if you still want that network."

He went on to give me Techno-babble about the reasoning behind it, basically saying that it's no longer broadcast on the analog, just digital.

"Cool.  Upgrade me to that package, and get me the cards."  What's an extra 10-15 bucks a month, eh?

"Sir, you still need the converter box for it."

"What? I have to get the HD Package to get it?" Fuck. Okay. My old TV is dying, been waiting to get a new HD one.***  I immediately start my inner debate between Plasma and LCD.  39-42 inches should do. Oh yeah!  Plus, Blu-ray!  Hmm...I wonder what Blu-Ray porn would look like on that screen?

"Sorry Sir, you will still need to get the Box."  He said it with THAT tone that one uses when speaking to an exceptionally slow child, of which I'm sure I was starting to sound at this point.

He continued to explain for a bit.

A cable box.  I don't WANT a cable box!  I have a clean looking system!

"Okay. Let me get this straight. If I got the ultra-high end package with HD, and just use the cable card right into my TiVO; I can get ALL the channels, right?"

"Correct, sir.  Except for the Cartoon Network."

How BADLY do I want this damned Network?

"Okay. Cool.  I'll decide later and I appreciate your help.   But can I talk to a Tech person, I'm trying to wrap my head around this. Nothing personal, I'm just not getting it."

"No problem, Sir. Quite a few people don't."

Lovely.

After a few moments on hold, I get a tech and she explains to me the same techno-babble the sales guy did.

"REALLY?"

"Yes, Sir. No matter what package you have, to you HAVE to have that cable box.  The media cards won't do it. There is no additional cost to get a box."

"That's not really the point, I don't WANT a box!"

"Sorry, Sir!"

I thank her, and out of politeness I wished her a good day and hung up. I was enraged.

Fuck.  I guess I'll go get a cable box, but I still better be able to record two programs at once, damnit!

I swear, it's a conspiracy by the Cable box industry!

Now I'm depressed again.

Damn you, Robot Chicken and Metalocalypse! Why must you be so...entertaining!

*God, Maybe I AM depressed!

** I heart my TIVO. Really. Buy one.  All you have to do is plug the buggers in and voila! No need for a box!

*** I said I took a hit, but I'm not destitute!

"There but by the grace of God go I"

The well known utterance by John Bradford, who actually said; ""There but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford."
Anyway.
There has been a number of fellow bloggers who appear that their worlds have been shaken by some personal calamity of some nature, whether its financial, emotional, or marital.  Being keenly aware of what seems to be a chain of drama, I was wondering when it was going to hit someone I knew.
Little did I realize how true my prediction would be, but I didn't think it was going to be ME!
I'm continuously aware of how one's fortune is incredibly tenuous at times. More-so than most people actually believe, really.  It's not merely those that are very poor that can go down a slide, but those of the super rich as well.
Madoff and Stanford are those that decided that the wealthy need a blow to their egos and get ripped off.  The ones that have been on the news after such issues just seem to be in a major state of shock when they find themselves, quite literally penniless overnight.

Whenever I see someone who is less fortunate or going through some trial in life, I always say a small prayer giving thanks, that I am not in their position and strive hard to not to be in the same situation.

Without getting into too much details, I can say I had my own Madoff, but on a VERY smaller scale.
Basically, most of my liquid assets were totally wiped out.
Not to say I'm broke, I still have other savings, but some things need to be pushed back a bit.  Needless to say I was more than a little peeved about the whole thing.
After talking to Starfish, Football Fan, and some other friends about it (and in slightly greater detail) they were amazed on how calm I was.
I wasn't screaming, crying, throwing tantrums, or cursing.
Well, maybe I was cursing a little.
To me, it just simply seemed like a waste of energy and I needed to take stock and form a plan of action.
I took a day off to recover and drown my sorrows in pasta, eventually coming to the realization that I am going to survive, that I can recover from this, that nothing has changed.
I mean, aside from being a little lighter in the pockets and my waistline took a massive hit, there was little or no damage.

My only major concern was some immediate expenses that needed to be looked after and a trip that I am planning.*  

Well, maybe one more concern.

After I hung up the phone in a slight case of depression and a prolonged Texting convo with FF, I asked her the following:

"So does this change things?"
"What does?" she eventually responded.
"My being broke."  She doesn't know the extent of my finances, not that they are THAT extensive.
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, you seemed fairly concerned about it and asked. Remember?" I wondered if she genuinely forgot.
"Did I sound that shallow to you when I asked that question? Really am sorry if I did.  I don't care, I like you for who you are."
"Thanks."
"We will just have cheap dates for a bit.  Maybe more smooching and fewer movies."

That set my mind at ease, she went on to apologize again for a bit longer and eventually told her that I wanted to be alone and sulk.

My time of my pity party is over, though. 
Time to pick myself up and move on and get to work.
Still, it was a perfectly good waste of an excuse to get totally wasted on Vodka, but I can't afford it right now.  I'll make an appointment to be depressed around April, I should be able to afford another good bender by then.



*Yes. I'm still throwing that party, but it's now an act of defiance.  I'll stick to that story.

Ironing the main wrinkles

My distaste for texting a potential girlfriend rises and falls like a wave.  It all depends on the conversation in which it is HOPED that the context isn't overthought out or minimized.

She's walking around behind her kids while they shop around for clothes:

FF: Hey!
Me: HEY!
FF: Working?
Me: No. Just out of shower. I'm squeaky.
FF: Can you make me squeaky?
Me: depends on what you're talking about, but I have made you squeal a few times.
FF: That's what I was meaning.

We go on for a few minutes with some semi-innocent banter for a few minutes and then:

FF: I don't like this. Just frustrated by how much I think of you already.
Me: Oh. Hate it when that happens.  Do you need a break?
FF: DON'T YOU DARE! Don't even think about leaving my brain.
Me: LOL. Ok. I seem to remember you saying you wanted to ate other men so you don't make the same mistake.
FF: I'm trying to find guys to date...not working out yet.
Me:  I hear ya'. Dating can suck.
FF:   I don't think I made mistakes last time.
Me: Oh? I think you alluded to the fact that you picked the wrong guy.*
FF:  No.  I don't think I choose wrong. Made bad decision to go back to him.
Me: That I can understand and appreciate.

With that, she disappeared failing to complete the conversation.
I'm getting used to this, so I just close the phone and then in frustration I yank my cats tail as a means to vent.**



* During our first meeting, she explained that her husband had cheated on her once before.
**Don't worry, she likes that and a good spanking.   No kitties were harmed in the making of this conversation or blog.

Texting promises, concerns, AND a prank...

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Sushi and Eating out

Rushing to my where we were supposed to meet for a meal, as I entered the lot for her chosen Mexican restaurant I saw that the place was packed. As I got closer, the line seemed to snake out the door.which I figured to be an hour long at least.
Oh, hell no!
Spotting her grabbing a parking spot, I suggested finding another establishment nearby.  As we pulled into a sushi place just a bit further down.
Settling into our table, we finally got deeper into our kid(s), jobs, Ex's, etc... and we got pretty deep into it.
I think it was one of our best conversations yet with much more substance.  Our meal was inhaled and we were both hungry* and continued to the Hibachi side and split a meal. 
After finish THAT meal, I offered to take her bowling across the street, but then she sprang a surprise:  She had to go back home by 10:15 for her kids.**
Of course, I was rather disappointed, but not really since I wanted to us to behave on a date for once.
Really!
Looking at the time, we had an hour to kill, but didn't really want the date to end.
"How about some smooching for a bit?"
Her left eyebrow shot up.
"Just smooching!"
"Okay."
We continued our semi-serious conversation on what we wanted out of a potential relationship and we both seemed to agree quite a bit with each other on a variety of subjects.
Jumping into the backseat, I drove us to a more secluded part of the parking lot, adjusted the seats and we snuggled together.
We were good.
We kissed and smooched quite a bit, but I needed to make an adjustment.
She planted her arm to support herself VERY close to my erection and she kept hitting it as we moved around a bit.
"Oh, I'm sorry, am I hurting it?"
"Uh...no, I'm fine."
She bumped it again, causing me to mutter an slight obscenity.
"Did it hurt then?"
"Yah!"
"Let me kiss it and make it feel better," and it was down her throat a heartbeat later.
"I thought we were going to be good?"
"You be good, I'll be better."
After a couple of more minutes, she said something that totally threw me off:
"You know, If you want, you can take a picture of me doing this to you, as long as my face isn't shown."
"What?"  I couldn't believe what I just heard.
She repeated herself and related how she loved being photographed, as long as her face isn't in the frame.***
The rest was basically a replay of our last two dates, so I won't bore you with the details again.

Once again, it was another good date and it seems quite promising!



*You know, you don't get much for your money in sushi, but damn it's good! Note to self:  Brazilian Steakhouse next...an orgy O' Meat!
**Drama with the Ex. Too extensive to type about but I agreed that it had to be done.
***Put them on here? Umm.....maybe, I'll think about it.

Rainy days blues....not so much.

The weather here sucks, and I decided work could wait tonight as I was just too antsy to do anything productive.
Several hours ago, I sent Football Fan a Text to see if she was up for a dinner/date thing and finally returned a msg a bit ago.

We were on.  Since I was going to her part of town, I suggested a good mexican place and maybe a movie.  I asked her if she wanted to hit a bar afterwards;
"You know I don't have to drink to put out."
Those were words I wasn't expecting, but I did a little jumping for joy inside my head.
There's plenty of room for that.
Really.
"Two hours?"
"You're on."
I dash off to the shower, shave and just waiting for some "emergency laundry" to be done.


See ya!

The Second date: The Test of Celibacy

After talking (and considerable Texting), we decided that we need to keep sex off the table for awhile.  Having decided there was a bit of chemistry on our last date, it turned into an all make-out session in my car.* 
Determining that we needed to see if we have more in common than sex, there was a decision to make a conscientious effort to keep our hands off each other, enjoy a movie, talk a bit, and then be our way.

That was the goal.
I mean that.

We went to a theater to watch "The Hangover"**, but spent some time to just chit-chat about stuff in our lives and try to find an additional connection.
She loved the movie, I enjoyed watching it again, and we were on our way to walk over to her car.  We were side by side looking out over the parking lot as we just leaned against the car talking about things in general.
For some reason, she mentioned that this time, she wore shorts that were a LITTLE tighter than last time.  These were a newer purchase since she has been steadily been losing weight.
I noticed she had "pretty panties" when she showed how much she had lost since she purchased them.
My comment was, along the lines of, "You got the pretty panty things going on, eh?  Well, you already know I go commando."
There was a pause.
I quickly tried to change the subject by saying the movies seemed pretty busy tonight.
She didn't let it go.
"You don't wear anything? I didn't notice that last time" she said in that innocent voice.
"Well, maybe on our next date I'll show you.
She continued onto the driver's side of the car and was ready to open the door to kiss her goodbye.

She opened the rear driver's side door and climbed in before I could fathom what she was up to.
"Hop in and remind me."
Oh shit!
I quickly turned around and pondered the situation.
No.
I can't go in.
The parking lot was PACKED with cars and people going in and out of the theater.
We were parked under a LIGHT!
No.
She looked at me and smiled.
Taking in a deep breath, and mutter a few prayers.
Really. I did.
Turning back towards her, I was greeted with a wicked smile and her hand on mine beckoning me in.
Any resolve that I was building crumbled in an instant.****
Okay.
Smooching.
Just smooching.
Not even settled into my seat she was sitting up on her side of the car and her hand reached to my cock.
Aw fuck.
She moved my shorts to the side, grabbed my cock, and was instantly in her mouth in seconds.
Never had a chance to make even a feeble attempt at a protest.
Her enthusiasm for a blowjob was amazing, but my hands were craving access from the back.
The tighter shorts that she was so excited about worked against me.
Damn them!
After I reached blow her, I was able to tickle her clit, within seconds, I felt her mouth quicken in pace and was greeted by a warm liquid as she had her first orgasm, one of three that came in rapid succession.
"I want to lick you dry, baby", I said.
Without hesitation, she sat up, unbuttoned and removed her pants.  She was leaning up against her side within a minute.
Kneeling down, I was licking and sucking her clit, when I felt her tense up and she squeezed out liquid out of her. 
Quickly clamping my mouth to cover her entire pussy, I sucked down all that she gave me.  Barely a chance to gulp down the first rush, when she started to flood mouth again that accompanied a muffled scream.
I managed to contain it in my mouth, when she came AGAIN.*****  This time the scream was unmistakable and cause no small amount of panic after I sucked it down.
Quickly looking around, there was no one around us. 
The tinting and fogged up windows helped us quite a bit.
After I reassured her that things were okay, I turned up the heat a bit.
Kissing her with her juices on my face, she seemed to get even more turned on with what I had in mind next; inserting two fingers in her pussy to rub on her G-spot and two fingers in her ass was something that she REALLY seemed to enjoy.
The flow that went into my mouth was a testament on how much she enjoyed having a little DP action and I kept this up for at least a good five minutes or so until she begged for me to stop.
It was then that she pushed me back to go back to giving me that delicious blowjob when she stopped a few minutes later.
"Did you bring condoms?" she quickly asked.
"No. I purposely didn't bring any.No sex, remember?"
"Shit, but to hell with it."
She immediately climbed on...but I held a firm stance.
"Are you sure."
"Shut up and let me straddle you."
Hey! I DID try!
With that, I felt myself entering her, but I didn't have to do much.  Once again, I felt her muscles clamp down on my shaft and a river of her juices flowing down****** and pooling under me and she was off me within a minute.
We fooled around for a few more minutes when it was decided she needed to leave to get back to her kids.
Peeking out, I made my getaway, gave her a long kiss goodbye and casually walked to my car only two rows away.*******




*You know, after a certain age, one expect that car sex is behind you.  It's still fun, but I'm just sayin'.
** Her first time, my second, but I loved the movie.
*** a lovely Velvet-y shamrock green and about an inch of room.
**** Shut up, Starfish.
***** She later told me, that it was the combination of the suction, moaning, and the fact that I was REALLY enjoying it that caused this series of orgasms...all within 2 or 3 minutes.
****** When I left, my khaki shorts totally soaked up front...and back.  Thank god it was late.
******* I asked how many orgasms she had, but as close as she could figure, she had about 12 at least. Nice. I wish we men could do that!

Enter: Football Fan

For the fun of it, I put out an ad for a "Kinky Girlfriend" for LTR with "intentions".
Didn't expect any responses.
None. At all.

Within 5 hours, I got a response.
After a flurry of responses and a brief exchange of history, she was ready to meet.
Being that this happened within only 8 hours and all falling together within a short amount of time, it threw me off totally.
Having to work, I had to beg off meeting or even talking on the phone until monday, but we kept in touch throughout the weekend with emails.

My Sunday suddenly became open and at three-ish, we agreed to meet at a chain restaurant.
Having arrived there a bit ahead of her, I went ahead and ordered (I was starving) and waited.
15 minutes later, my phone buzzed with a Text "Just pulling up."
Instantly, I started scouting the parking lot and I spotted two vehicles that arrived, but only one had a single female in it.
She seemed to be of "Average" height and weight wearing A Texan's Jersey.  Upon entering the door, I waved at her and her smile beamed at me as she walked over and immediately ordered something.
Cutting to the chase after a few minutes, I wanted to know about her marriage, and in short, she was saying how her divorce was about to be over, and quite frankly, was interested in dating "several people" so she wouldn't fall into the trap of "Marrying on the rebound."
Perfectly understandable.

The chat eventually shifted over the topic of the kinks I listed.  Reason being is that I wanted to make sure that the person I was to be with had the same appetite and kinks that I do.  I was determined not to make that same mistake again.  As I went down my list, she didn't seem to flinch.
Not a single bit
She went on to say that she was a bit of a swinger as well and went on to elaborate on some other things that she would and wouldn't do.
The conversation shifted over a variety of topics and it was soon apparent that the waitress wanted her table back for some new customers.
I asked her if she wanted me to walk her to her car and have a brief smooching session.
Just smooching.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
"You know, it would be rather unseemly to be smooching in public." she said.
"Well, it was only going to be a quick smooch." I said defensively.
"Might be able to handle that, but lets do it privately."
Somehow we wound up in the backseat in my car.
It went from a casual smooching session to an outright make-out session.
My growing erection forced me to adjust myself.  I thought I had done it discretely until I heard her ask if she could feel it.
Who am I to deny her that?
We continued to kiss as I finally had to "set it free" because it was uncomfortable and immediately started to stroke it; after a minute or two, she took one look at it and proceeded to to give me a sweet blowjob.*
After a few more minutes, we came to the realization that perhaps sitting in an open parking lot, near a chain restaurant with the sun blazing wouldn't be a good idea.
Rather quickly, I get back into the front seat and we drive to a slightly more "isolated" spot behind a nearby construction trailer...facing the frontage road to the freeway.
Getting into the backseat, we pick up where we left off with the blowjob.
her kneeling on my seat to give me the blowjob, I reach over and stroke her pussy over her shorts for a few minutes.  Eventually, I reach under her shorts and reached for, and then gently fingered her clit
She changed her pace to a more sensual technique instead of the frantic pace she had initially.   Bring her face up, cradled her and continued to smooch for a bit longer while I caressed her.  She moved my hand to her crotch and started to grind against it, that just turned me on even more, we kissed more passionately as I unbuttoned her shorts.  They were kicked off within seconds as she put them on the floor.
She apologized about not having "pretty" underwear.  Seems like I wasn't the only one not anticipating the backseat smooching session going as far as it did.
But we were far from ending it.
As we continued kissing, I gently rubbed her clit, while I was slowly increasing pressure on it.  She was getting so wet my fingers were just sliding up and down the surfaces of her pussy and ass.  As my fingers felt her tight hole, I tentatively dipped my finger in and was greeted by a loud moan and harder kissing.
Finally pulling away from her I said, I wanted to eat her ass.
Without hesitation, she got up and maneuvered into kneeling away from me and spread her cheeks.
Not being totally brain dead, I went up behind her and proceeded to lick and tongue fuck her ass and proceeded to keep rubbing and fingering her pussy.
I noticed her starting to shake a bit more and that is when it became apparent her pussy was REALLY getting wet.
Sopping wet.
Then gushing.
Then squirting.
I was in awe, I wanted to lick it up, but I wasn't at the right angle to do so.** I did, however, try to get as much as I could in my hand and sucked it up from there.  She apparently was able to see what I was doing and said that it was a major turn on.
Having her turn over so I can eat her out, she wanted me to kiss her so she could taste her juices on my face, as I bent down to kiss her, with my also being bottomless, we got dangerously close to actual sex*** and temptation was very close.  It took quite a bit of effort, but I kept the kissing brief and played it off that I just wanted to lick more of her juices.
As I went back down, her pussy was totally wet and I was fingering her as I concentrated on her clit.  As I sensed my fingers being squeeze by her muscles, there was an increase of juices flowing out of her to the point that there was a little squirting, I automatically put my mouth to cover her as much of her wet pussy as possible and swallowed as much as of her liquid as possible.
Twice.
I. Loved. Every. Single. Drop.
We repositioned ourselves so she can finish her blowjob with a nice steady rhythm, but it seemed to gradually take on a bit more urgency for some reason.
My fingering her asshole and pussy at the same time, might have had something to do with it.
As her pace picked up, my fingers got deeper and got a bit more motion in them.
Several things at once happened that made me have an intense orgasm.
One:  She was hitting the back of her throat with a bit of force.
Two: The muscles in her pussy and asshole were gripping my fingers and I was feeling her start to drip/gush again.
Three: There was a gentleman walking by my car.  Even though I had dark tinted windows, the light from the sun was enough for him to give him a good view of what my fingers were doing.  Oddly (to me), he walked off after we made contact and turned away with this...what I would describe as a matter of fact look.
The combination of these made me my orgasm quite powerful and held her head down on my cock as I came.****
She sat back on the passenger side and I snuggled up to her on her lap and we talked for a bit, fleshing out our histories and our intentions.
Looking up towards her, her fully covered breasts were teasingly close.
"Can I take a peek at them?"
"You already seen the pictures," she responded.*****
Earlier I had said that one of my kinks was breast "torture" and was a bit dubious about it, but she complied with my request and was greeted by a lovely nipple.
I immediately put it in my mouth and set it between my teeth while sucking it.
The response, as you would suspect, was immediate.  The nipple hardened in my mouth and I was vigorously sucking and biting the rest of her breast for a few minutes.
She then lifted me up, pushed me back to a sitting position and started to straddle my lap after presenting her breasts to me once again.
The breathing intensified, I attacked her breasts more, and then I reached behind and shoved a finger up her ass.
She shifted her weight, looked at me in the eyes and said, "To hell with it."
With that she impaled herself on my cock and her eyes immediately rolled to the back of her head while she ground into me and had, from what I could tell, an instant, small but intense orgasm.


We sat back down and talked for a bit longer.
"You know, this 'Linner' lasted much longer than I thought it would." I finally said.
"Yeah, we're going to have to leave soon."
"We're going to have to leave VERY soon, though." as I casually looked at my dashboard.
"Oh, sick of my company already?" she said with a dangerous sound in her voice.
"Nah. I'm almost out of gas." and casually pointed to the indicator.
It has been almost 2 hours since we hopped in.
"I see what you mean."
"Let's get you back to your car," I said as our respective shorts went back on.
"I'm going to back back to my car." she said as I jumped up front.
"Really?"
"Yeh. Need to clear my head before I get into my car."
With that she jumped out and proceeded to walk at a moderate pace.
Putting the car in gear, I lower the window and keep up with her.
"Hey little girl. Wanna jump in?"
"Nah, I've been told not to get into cars with strangers."
"I got some really good candy."
"No thank you. I got some nice candy earlier from another bad man."
A car had just pulled up and I needed to move on as I was blocking the way in.
I blew her a kiss as I drove off.
As I got to a nearby gas station, my car sputtered to a stop before I had a chance to turn off the key.
Just in time.
reaching into my phone, I sent her a text msg:
"I could have stayed longer."

We shall see what our next date is like.




*She said that once she saw the pre-cum on the tip, she knew she wanted it in her mouth. 
**No. My first thought of detailing my car didn't come to mind until MUCH later.
*** Again. We weren't prepared for this eventuality.
****She said a bit later she didn't taste it, suggesting that my cock was actually a little further down her throat. That was hot.
*****She showed me a picture on her cell phone earlier that she was going to send to me.

Neglecting friends and going on a bender

I've been under quite a bit of stress over the past few months and have been extremely busy to boot.
My dating and other activities had to be severely curtailed, to the point of even neglecting to seeing some of my friends and partaking in my leisurely activities that I enjoyed.

That ends tonight.
I'm joining IF and going on a bit of a bender.  I think it's quite deserved. Also, I went on a meeting yesterday that I hope to finish the post sometime this week.

Gonna hit Midtown pretty hard tonight.  Not going to be a rowdy crowd, but enough to allow me to relax for the first time in awhile.   Besides, I owe IF a few drinks.

Dating in the Dark Week 6

Jose, middle school music teacher who admits he has "Zero Game."
Jeff, Bartender and normally asks out "Hot Women."
Deanne, Freelance TV reporter
Renee, Jewelry Designer
Gina, Yoga Teacher


The FBI profiler

Gina seemed like she was brutally honest
Renee, he found her to be guarded and a girl next door.
Deanne is "Not a discloser" and will probably not open up completely.

Gina and Matt met up for their first date and they picked each other. and there seemed to be a connection.

Renee and Jose:
He commented that his biggest fear is the rejection from women.
Her wanting to stand up with him and made an immediate comment about his spikey hair, and seemed to be measuring his height, but instead made a comment about his hair.  At first glance (stare in the dark?) there didn't seem to be much of a connection.

Jeff invited Deanne, but there was no suggestion that a click was there aside from allowing him to touch her face, which she admits was a big step forward.


Gina and Jose's second date, they seemed like they were quite "comfortable" right now and he took a chance and initiated a kissed.  Gina was very receptive and gave him high remarks about it.


Using the compatibility scores, this is how they matched up:
Renee and Jose  with 70%
Gina an Matt with 62%
Deanne and Jeff with 63%

Jeff and Deanne's date seemed to reaffirm their connection.  The only reservation she has is how he seems to prefer to hot women and makes himself to out to be a stud and fears she is not going to be good looking enough for him.

Jose and Renee' date and he brought up how he felt that she was checking out his height.  She responded that she usually dates taller men, but that it wasn't a deal breaker.
Really? If it 's not a deal breaker, why check it out IN THE DARK??
She then puts out there that she likes guys to take chances, but refuses to give ground on a simple kiss. He comments on this very fact and is fairly put off by it.


Gina and Matt's date he proclaims that he seems seems more chemistry to her than the other women, but was put off by Jose being so excited to be with her. But that the "gloves are off" when it turned out he also kissed Renee.  Gina seemed quite game, considering she found out about the kiss as well. She seemed quite surprised to realize that she may have more of a connection with Matt than Jose.

While the ladies were talking about their various dates, Deanne realizes that if she doesn't let her guard down, she's probably not going to meet anyone.


Final Date:
Jeff and Deanne both seemed to get along very well and Jeff seems genuinely excited over her.  He's nervous about how he is going to react to the reveal?

Matt and Gina's date seemed to go well, but he confided in her that he may not be as appealing as he seems to be during the reveal.  She's a bit nervous about the lack of confidence he's displaying about the reveal and seems to be putting her off by that.

Jose and Renee's date, she goes in saying that she is bound and determined to let down her guard.  She realizes this is a problem and is hoping to get over it.
He seems to recognoize that this is a big step for her and he starts to reveal something about himself as well by displaying the Dogtags from the military.  He says that by joining the Military, he had a comittment that he entered into completely and wished to reinforce the fact that he will enter a relationship the same way.

okay ladies, everyone say, "AWWWWW!"

he seems like SUCH a great guy. She's an idiot if she lets him get away.



Reveal:

Jose' and Renee:  With her reveal, he smiles and mouths "Wow!".  During his reveal, she smiles and apparently is pleased.  He comments later that she is "Very Very pretty!" (I agree!).  She comments that he's "really, really cute."(He is!) But doesn't know if she is able to be with him.

Jeff and Deanne:  When she is revealed, he doesn't have much of a reaction.  When he is revealed, she smiles and nods her head.  Later she tells the girls that he's really hot. (Really?)  He tells the guys that "He's on the fence" and that he wasn't knocked over by her, but is happy.

Matt and Gina:  when she is revealed, he simply smiles.  When he is revealed, her eyebrows are raised and she shakes her heads.  After wards claims that he looks like he's 40 with the beard and doesn't see herself with him.


The Balcony:


Matt is quite happy with Gina and wants to date.   She is quite on the fence on the whole matter.  She is fond of him, his appearance put her off.   Gina decided that he isn't the match for her.  She feels like she's being a "superficial bitch".   Dude. Shave the beard!


Jose wishes to continue with Renee'.  She realizes that he is a great guy, but isn't sure which way the relationship is going to go.    She also walks out the front door because she didn't feel a "romantic" connection.   I think she was the biggest fool. He's a GREAT guy!  Damn, woman!


Jeff and Deanne.  He says that she didn't light his fire, physically, but is an amazing woman overall.  He comes out on the Balcony and they wished to see how they want to go further.  He acknowledges that she's a great person and he needs to let go of his previous hangups.  Personally, I don't see this happening and don't give them long.


This is the final week, so that's the end of THIS drivel from me.
Considering how it went over the entire run, only 7 of the 15 couples walked off together, it didn't seem to promising for dating overall. 

Prospects:

As I have mentioned before, I had only one response to my initial post and it seemed quite interesting considering I had put it in the in the "Other Romance", I was fairly surprise with that.

Once I re posted over to for Males seeking females, the response was only slightly better.
It's my guess that women overall are probably thinking they are more shallow then they thought.
This is (basically) the post I put up:

You're not perfect and neither am I.
I'm one that looks past the drama and sees who you are. Be the same.
It's not the baggage that you have, but in what manner you carry it.

Single Imperfect male seeking SIF 35-45 (more or less) for LTR

Must not be too far left or right, Politically.
Must be open to conversation of all types ranging from Pop culture to discussions of Philosophy.
Must enjoy/tolerate baseball. (go to quite a few games...)
MUST be up on current events.
MUST be quick witted
MUST have a sense or humor. (I enjoy Robot Chicken and south park, but I also love Big Bang Theory)
MUST have the ability to call me out appropriate.
MUST be open to new ideas, opinions, and counterpoints. (I love being intellectually challenging, and you should be too)
PREFER someone that has more kinks than a cheap gold chain. (if you gotta ask, feel free to ask for a clarification).
No kinks judged, keep them to yourself until we get along. Or share. I'm flexible.

No pics requested or given initially.
If you need pics or feel the need to share a pic, then perhaps I'm not for you.
Think of it as "Dating In The Dark" but with typing.

I'm okay with:
Kids. (you with kids, I have one that's grown)
Workaholics. I'm one as well.
Non traditional jobs.
Pets. (Wary of dogs, but I get over that quick. As long as he doesn't look at me as a snack food. I'm okay with it.)
Crazy Ex's. We all have them. This is Texas, so no jury would convict me. 'Nuff said. I don't have to deal with mine anymore. (not murder, kid grew up) 

After re-posting on the Males for Females section, I gotten a LITTLE more of a response.  I got 5.
Total.

The first responder was from a 22 yr old.  We continued talking for a bit until I decided to stop wasting both of times.
The next responder is one I'll call "Blossom".  She's a woman of my age who responded for no real reason she could think of.  She is married but is, as far as she can tell me, planning to divorce her husband.   When she mentioned FWB, I went a bit nuts and informed her about my OTHER blog.
Don't ask me why. I still don't know why I did it.  
She read it and was hooked.
The rest are barely worth mentioning.  Seems after only a few frustrated attempts to get me to send a picture without revealing anything about themselves tried their patience and we both mutually gave up or was too far away to make a relationship even remotely realistic.

Going to give it another try in a few days...perhaps it was the timing of my posting.  Haven't quite decided, but I was extremely disappointed that the ad didn't get any more responses.

Then again, the woman are probably thinking they're too perfect for my ad.

The Evil That Men Do

On a serious note, I'd like to comment on the LA Fitness shooting that occurred fairly recently*.  While the act is despicable, there is a certain amount of sorrow behind the act.  I waited this long to post in case there were further developments.

Yes, we can mock his inability to get into a relationship or have sex for an extended amount of time, the frustration that this man had is fairly common in both sexes.

This can be very contradictory coming from me, but this blog shows how dating can be a frustrating, humiliating, and tiring experience.  It involves exposing yourself and your vulnerabilities as well as HOPING that the object of your desire weighs the pro's and cons and finds you "acceptable" to date.

It also requires a large amount of people skills including empathy, patience, and proper social skills.  It involves of two people finding some common ground on a variety of levels. 
While you may think it's rather cool to be a railroad fan and take vacations for that hobby***, your potential mate might think you're insane stop dating you while she goes to her "Sex and the City" self-help books."

Those that get frustrated in their inability to get dates/relationships have a real high probability of getting into a state of depression, or have an issue that might prevent them from having a real relationship.

From my experience and anecdotal information from friends, these comes from people with OCD,** low self esteem, egotistical, lack of compassion/empathy.
For those that have date after date that has ended in failure, I'm sure that it affects people in a way that they don't realize.   A certain amount of depression will set in.  A sense of hopelessness, sadness, apathy, and maybe even sense that some sort of revenge is in order as they blame others for their lack of success in dating.

Basically, what I'm getting down to is that if this sounds like you, then perhaps you need to find help, either from friends or a professional.  While it is TOTALLY fun to read these blogs, I encourage you to find a way for you to be able to join us with the fun (and frustrations) of dating/relationships.




*I'm not going to mention the gunman's name, because as far as I'm concerned, I refuse to give him any more notoriety than he deserves. If you don't know what I'm talking about, here is a LINK.
** I have a slight case of OCD, and I have dated people with OCD, but sometimes the type or severity might be too much for some people to handle.
*** To be clear. I'm NOT a railroad fanatic.  Just thought I'd use this "geek" without resorting to the typical "Trekkers/Trekkies", Computer nerds (see previous), and Motorheads.

No Dating in The dark....

Yeah, I was super busy yesterday and didn't come in until late.
Even though I watched the episode (poor leo and Malik!), I don't think I can do a proper post about it.

Next week I will MAKE time!  It looks pretty damned good!

Additionally, I had to take my AD from CL from one section to another because I got exactly ONE response.

ONE!

Go fig!

Posts and Dreams

Well, I have just put up a new post on CL for someone.  I thought it was rather creative, and after a few weeks, I'll put up what I had posted.
Now that my life is starting to settle into a fairly normal routine, I need to do things for myself for awhile.  So dating is fairly high up there, but there is also raising tuition money for the lovely little parasite of a daughter.*

With all the craziness that I've been dealing with, I've had a dream that had several weeks ago that has been bugging the hell out of me.

Having been under quite a bit of stress and lack of sleep, I finally collapsed for a few hours.

The scene is the wonderfully chaotic household that is IF and IFW's home.
After playing some Wii, I find myself in the dining room just shooting the breeze with the IFW when she suddenly puts on the moves.
I resist.  You know, because it's my friend's WIFE.**  Eventually I cave in (hey! if you met her before, she doesn't take no for an answer!) and we started to have some very frantic screwing with IF only a few feet away in the next room.
Next thing I hear is a baby crying, he gets up to change the diaper and a few minutes comes back down to the couch and spots us, and sticks his head in the room.
Before I could even utter give anything resembling an apology, he simply uttered, "Cool" and went back to the living room to finish his game.

I woke up at a cold sweat immediately afterward.
You know how scary it is to wake up from a sex dream with someone you DON'T want to have sex with?
TERRIFYING!



*I say it with love. Believe me.
**Not that I've never been with another person's wife before...but that's a different story.

Dating in The Dark: Week 4

I was a little drunk when I watched this episode and forgot to post it, so bear with me on the shortened, slightly edited version of this week's post.


In short, I believe all of the guys Jeff, Amit, and Cormac, seemed like genuinely nice guys.  I don't get the issue, yet the girls all made fun of Amit's and Cormac's place for being so neat.

Kelly, Misty, and Shannon, all seemed like great girls as well, so I was surprised how the show went along.

Amit and Misty had awesome chemistry and seemed to get along quite well, but in the end, didn't wind up with him because she had issues with his height.  The Reveal showed a visible reaction from her, but I didn't get that it was the height that she was cringing on.
I really don't get that. 

Jeff and Shannon also had a wonderful connection, they seemed to go well together.  It seems like his aggression in wanting the kiss totally blew his chances and was a deal breaker for her.

Carmac and Kelly were also a great match in the dark room, but when the final reveal, she almost cringed.   I mean, I thought he was a rather good looking dude.  Eventually they winded up together, but it seemed very hesitant about it.  While I hope they make it, I am not holding any hopes for it.

Teaser might have been the right name!

Having been ridiculously busy with some things having occurred over the past few months, I was finally able to sit, contact, and concentrate on Teaser for a bit.
Being only able to talk in short spurts with her since we last talked. 
One of the things she was mentioning was how her husband was trying to get into her good graces. 

A little background is in order:
The reasoning behind their separation was due to his cheating and basically kicked him out or she moved out.  Still never got the entire story of it.

Turns out, he has come back begging to be back in her life.  Initially, she had stated that she was quite reluctant to even give him more than a token response, but that had changed over the period of the week or two I haven't been able to have an extended conversation with her.
This week was supposed to be a week for us to get "more familiar" with each other while her kids were visiting her grandparents up north.
The day that they left, I contacted her, but she was fairly distant and didn't react to my overtures.  Comes to find out, she had an eye infection, and considering what she does for a living, it was putting her far behind in her work.  My being the workaholic that I am, I totally understood and gave her some distance so she can catch up to make her deadlines.

Towards the end of the week, we talked a bit more and admitted that she was looking forward to our extended rendezvous, but that she had been talking to her husband and talking about perhaps getting back together.  She was rather torn up about the whole situation and was rather confused about the whole matter on what to do.
Not one to interfere with what makes her happy for my own selfish reasons (I'm not THAT much of a Douche'), I simply wished her luck.

"I'm truly sorry." she went on...
"Apologize for what?" 
" I know you were looking forward to this week and I feel like I have been leading you on, but between the infection and my husband, I feel overwhelmed.  I hope you're shopping around for another woman, because I am very confused as to what do do."
"Not a big deal, you have some serious matters you need to settle."
Then a little surprise.
"You know, we could have a threesome", she added.
I just stared at my phone for a few moments before responding.  I had totally forgot they we swingers.
The next few moments were a bit of a blur and can't quite remember what was said, but it had turned decidedly sexual in nature.
"You know, instead of dealing with him, I'd rather be getting some," She confided.
"That can be arranged if you want." and then I went on how she could simply allow me to come to her house and give her a nice waking up.

Yes. I know, been there and done that before, but DAMN, it's fun!

She didn't promise anything, but said she'd think about it. 

Keeping my phone handy throughout the night, but I have learned not to anticipate much.
As my night drew to a close, I never received the text. 
Pretty much what I expected.

A night at the Opera; The (Un)magical Flute

Tonight's date and I went to a showing of Mozart's "The Magic Flute" that was (re)broadcast from the NYMet from the 2006 performance.
The Date that I went to was surprised that I wanted to go to this, but was something new for her. While she has attended several plays, she's never been to attended an opera.  I, on the other hand, try to attend these as often as I can, since these are more agreeable to my schedule than attending an actual performance at the Hobby Center or The Wortham.*
My date arrived at a nearby food establishment and had just burgers and fries and a couple of beers.
The topics ranged about our work, her work, her family, etc.
No spark.
None.
Looking at my watch, the clock ticked way too slow for my taste.
Meandering over to the theater, we take our spots in a quickly filling theater and we talk a bit longer about Operas, Mozart, and Art in general.
She hints that she's thirsty.
"I'll take a coke."
She just looks at me.
"Okay. a LARGE coke."
"You're not going to go get it?"
So far this whole thing has been on my dime, you would figure she'd at least spring the 4 bucks (or whatever) for a drink.  So much for a "casual" date.
I hand her my credit card, "Go have fun."
She leaves, slightly disappointed, while I open up my phone, and drool over Library Vixen's latest entry, and check up on email.
Arriving a few minutes later, she hands me my coke and, to my relief, the opera starts.
She tries to ask me something, unrelated to the opera and I "Shhh" her.

A short time later, it was over, she looked at me and said, "I don't get it."
The production wasn't the best, so for a person not familiar with it, I could understand her confusion.  She was fond of Papageno, didn't think Pamina was attractive, but Tamino had an excellent voice.   She also seemed quite impressed with the wardrobe (which I agreed were awesome). 
Begging off that I was tired, I offered to walk her to her car, give her a small kiss and walk away.

Yep. No magic there at all.
I immediately deleted, and did a casual chat with Starfish.  It was a short convo since I had the sudden urge to simply sleep early.
Time for CL again.

*Yes, I really AM someone with varied interests.

Dating in the Dark: Week 3

Initial impressions:

Chris: He seems to have a bit grown up due to his Cancer experience and seems to be genuinly looking for someone for him.

Philip: is a former Military guy that wants to find someone with "Depth", he's a hot guy and I can respect him saying that.  Already he's my favorite.

Billy Ray:  He seems to come from a family that has a tendency to be Serial Marry-ers (if that isn't a word, it is now), and is determined not to walk down that path.  He's the oldest of the 3 men and seems to be the most patient in finding someone.  But the reason of his being single this far along in his life could be that he could also just be whoring around.

My money is hoping for Philip, but Chris seems like a nice guy as well.  Living through cancer will usually sober a guy up from what I've seen.

Sasha:  "..Because I'm very superficial and I usually date boys that are hot." was the sentence that caught my attention.  She claims that DITD is going to be difficult for her because she seems to only like "hot guys".  Wow.  I can only imagine what kind of issues she has had to deal with in the past to get to this point.

Megan:  who comes from a conservative background and seems to date the "rough around the edges" guy. Which is interesting. That basically falls under the norm of people that are raised with such a background....from my experience.

Jennifer:  A military girl who seems to be quite Type A.  The men she has met in the past seem to have a problem with being in control.  Having dated military chicks in the past, I can't see what the problem guys have with her.  Allowing to have a LITTLE control over you isn't a big deal. If your ego can't handle it, blame it on yourself, not on her.   Unless she insists on keeping you in a dog pen..but that's a different type of show.

Initially, I believe Jennifer is the least PHYSICALLY attractive, but Sascha is the one that is lovely, but unattractive in personality.

Initial meeting:

Jennifer and Philip seem to find common ground because they were both in the military, which he finds sexy.  It seems that Jennifer seems to be smitten with Chris and doesn't even seem to mention Philip when she announces her "Front Runners" of Chris and Billy Ray.

Billy Ray seems to have his first two has Megan and Sasha, with Jennifer rounding up the rear.  His reasoning for Jennifer being last is because he isn't active in Physical training, which seems to be Jennifer's preference in guys.

The first initial dates:

Billy Ray and Megan picked each other:  He confided in her that his father had passed and was in and out of the system.  Her facial expressions seemed to change (to me) as soon as that was mentioned.   Megan stated that he wasn't probably as close to his family as she was to hers, and that didn't seem appeal to her very much.   I guess she believes a close knit family makes for a stable relationship?   I can kinda' see that.

When he met Sasha, and said she intrigued him.  He said that he was allergic to cats, and since she was a major animal person, that almost seemed like a deal breaker to her.
During the topic of work, he admitted that he can be quite lazy; on the other hand, she said she was obsessively working up to 16 hours a day.   It seems that he simply can't picture her knowing how to relax.

DUDE! Are you kidding me?

Sasha wasn't feeling it either, and told one of the girls that.

Jennifer and Chris met up for a date and the first thing that she asks is for him to see if he can do a pushup with her on his back.  Wow. Being that he's a Personal trainer, that was easy.

Philip and Jennifer met in the dark room and immediately started talking about their military careers.
He seems to be impressed with her with, what seems like, a "Take charge" person in her position in the military.

She seems to be fond of him and is interested in going on another date with him.

Sasha invites Chris for a date, he immediately starts talking about his past which includes the passing of his father from Brain cancer and his own battle with Cancer.  This breaks her heart, but seems genuinely touched that he confided this in her, sharing with her something that is apparently very intimate in his life.

Sasha and Jennifer seem to already be competing for the same guy.

During the wallet inspection, they seem to be quick to ridicule Billy Ray for his lack of any apparent wealth (6 lotto tickets and no cash) in his wallet.

Wish Sasha's purse proved to be interesting to the guys with it's disorganization.

Philips wallet, they found 422 bucks and a some credit cards which seems to really impress them for some reason.  It's at this point Jennifer makes the comment that since they apparently like to shop, they would also make a good match.

Jennifer's purse reveals a beat up purse and a chewed on lipstick. Which Philip dismisses as a woman that might have a Oral Fixation.

Chris' wallet:  70 bucks, a CPR card, and Sasha seems impressed with how "real" the wallet is. 

Umm...Okay.

Megan's Purse his a fashionable purse and organized.

the matchups:

Sasha and Billy Ray; which She promptly states, "That's why being good on paper doesn't make for a good relationship."  She immediately proclaims that she can't possibly see how they can be compatible. After their date, he comments that he was bored with it. 

Jennifer and Philip: She says they are fairly compatible, but was still wondering if Chris was more for her.

Megan and Chris:  Chris totally charmed her with some of his gentlemanly ways. (Take notes guys.)

Jennifer than Invited Chris into the room for a date and he totally charms her.
She later invites Philip into the room afterward and she admits that she also likes Chris, with Philip pretty much prompting her that if she thinks he likes Chris more, than perhaps she should simply go with him. 

Billy Ray and Sasha tried to get to know Sasha better, but he felt no connection with her and admits that there is no woman in the house that there for him.  

For the Final date, all girls picked Chris.
Philip also comes to the conclusion that he felt no real connection with the girls either and stepped up and gave him advice on how to get to where he wants to be with the right girl.

The girls all seem to have tension in the fact that they are all competing for the same guy.  They're joking around, but you can tell the competition is there.

His approach was to kiss all the women and see how it works out.  Interesting way of doing it.  Confiding too  Jennifer and Megan intimate moments about his pass seems to have won him over.
With the date with Sasha, he seems to be a bit put off with her sexual side of her.

At the end of the dates, he tells the guys that Jennifer is probably the most compatible to him.

When it came to the reveal, Billy Ray and Philip chose no one.  They took themselves out.
This is amazing to me, to be honest.

All women, however, picked Chris.

When they are talking about their expectations of Chris in the Reveal room, Megan hopes that He is stylish slightly rugged.
She comments she is a bigger girl, but not someone he normally dates, but admits that he is still attracted to her. She doesn't really seem to be as enthusiastic to his apparence.  
Which to me, is a shame, he's willing to overlook it, because they seem compatible, but she isn't.

Sasha's reveal shows an expression on her face that doesn't show that (to me) that she is pleased with what she sees.  She comments that his suit looks like he borrowed from his Dad and spiked hair and looked so young.  But once the lights were turned on, she wasn't attracted to him.
Once again, Chris comments that she's bigger than what he's normally used to dating and admits that he didn't find her being a redhead being very attractive to him.
Jennifer and Chris' reveal, she seemed pleased with his appearance and is "Gorgeous" but like the other ladies, she noted his youthful appearance.
He later comments that while she may be attractive, there is a "wild" look to her personality.

While this may make him seem a bit on the Douche'-y side (my word, feel free to use it.) he seems to come away with a more open mind than the other girls do.

before the Balcony, Sasha makes the comment that Chris isn't as attractive (!) as the other men she had dated, and is wondering if she can look past that and remember the good times they had in the dark.
Really, Sasha?  REALLY??  You're no awesome looker yourself. 
Sorry.

Jennifer comments that she is still quite attracted to him, but is wondering if his age would be a deal breaker because she would feel like she's dating a younger brother.

Megan on the other hand, LIKES him, but she doesn't think that HE would make her FRIENDS comfortable.
Oh come on!

Chris later comments that he is most attracted to Jennifer as far as physically and personality.

As he stands on the Balcony, he is hoping that Jennifer walks up.

Sasha walks out the front door and proclaims that looks really do matter to her and thinks that the rest of the world is the same way.  Looks matter.   Somehow, I'm not surprised with this.  Good luck, lady!
It's ironic that He didn't find HER attractive.  Beauty is always subjective.

Megan walks out the front door and decides that it is best that she not meet him, thereby giving him false hope of a relationship since she also had doubts that a relationship would be successful.
When he saw her walk out, he was actually quite glad and admitted that she wasn't his type.

She is shown to walk out the front door as well, but says that he is a little young for her.

You could tell that he was a bit heartbroken, but he says that he isn't going to take this too hard and keep moving on and realizes that there is another girl out there for him.

Looks like no one picked anyone.

It's a shame, but I would have thought Philip and Chris would have been better luck with the rest of the ladies.

Overall, I think the producers did a lousy job of picking someone for this week (Or they did it on purpose to prove a point), but it does seem to show that looks are quite important to people, whom I think who I think are less than spectacular as well.

The only person I can probably give a pass too is Jennifer, she seemed to have some legit reasons, she found him sexy and attractive, but the age thing (or youthful look) might bother women.  At least, I would suspect it, unless they want to look like a cougar. :)


'Scuse me while I'm bummed out and reach for my Ice Cream and Erase and gladly erase this episode from my TiVo.