Cranial Fecal Matter

Blogging (of different genre's) has always been a way for some of us to document our lives, the world around us, to make a difference, or simply be our own cheap therapy session.

Being a Dating blogger (as well a Sex blogger), what we post on here, for the most part, is a snippet of our lives. A snapshot, if you will.  Different snap shots at different times and places.  Very rarely will anyone make the abstract jump as to HOW we get from here to there. 
It's akin to taking a trip starting from one end of the nation to the other, tell you I'm there; but not mentioning the route I took, the foods that were eaten, or the oddities that are seen, witnessed, or done.
In quite a few ways, I feel like I'm cheating you (the eight readers that read this drivel) by not saying what happened in between the stories that I have posted.
While, I'm not proclaiming that my life, in any way, shape, or form is something that I would even consider fascinating,  I am open to comments or questions to both of my blogs as to what happened in between posts. While it may not be fascinating to me, it might fill in an answer for you.

I got that out of the way:

Unless I wish to start an additional blog (under this or another pseudonym) in which I'd talk about other things that interest me. My drivel might start being even more....drivel-ish. Due to my life being in a bit of a hectic, my dating has come to an abrupt stop, but I am still doing the occasional CL for playmates/Girlfriends.
The things I've been considering writing about things that occur to me on a daily basis, or wish to open a dialogue about things. My reading list, is a bit of a clue on my interests, but my life isn't simply contained between my legs (although, to be honest, I would LOVE for someone to be constantly between them), but rather in my mind that is in a frenzy search of answers.

A wide variety of questions always seem to come into my head but with few people to talk about it with and explore.  It's not that I don't' have a close group of friends or even friends with high intelligence, but more like topics that simply doesn't register as having any importance in their lives.  

Questions of "Are you or I considered 'evil' to other people?", "If Hitler got accepted to Art school, what would the world be like?", "What is it like to be in Hawking's or Einstein's brain?", "How in the world did someone have the guts to TRY to eat a ginger root?", and "Do Assholes KNOW they're assholes?"


There is so much in my head, but I realize quite a number of you probably don't care of what goes on inside my head, but hey; It's my blog and if I get this caffeinated again, lord knows what you'd find.


FYI: This post took an hour and a half to write and deleted 90% of it.  Heaven help y'all if I decide to post the echos in my head.

Teasing midnight snack

We finally decided for a bit of a meeting.

Not really a date.  In fact, I don't really know what to call it.
You comment and put in your .02 and we'll see..

There was a bit of a deliberation on when to get together to figure out our status with our dating.  Particularly after she dropped the bomb on me a few days previously, so we agreed for a Wednesday night get together, with the potential of some naughtiness and smooching.

Oh yes. Smooching.  I love it.
We met up in the back of a popular 24hr eatery at about midnight in the back, and we greeted each other for an embrace and then confessed that she needed to go inside for a bit.
After finding a booth, we merely got a couple of cokes, chit chatted a bit about our personal and professional dramas.  Taking an obligatory sip of our insanely flat and overpriced cokes, I asked if she wanted to crawl into the backseat.
After taking a look at her car, I decided the tint on mine was a bit darker and we dived in.

While there was considerable smooching and naughtiness that ensued, we got to talking about our status.
*I* THINK we talked about dating but not being exclusive until she figured out what she wanted to do.  She was rather open to being a guest or a party favor of one of my parties.

Yeah, it was fairly fun meeting and somewhat productive.

Excuse me now, I need to take a shower because I'm all sweaty.

Absence of Malice...

I have been asked a number of times if I feel bitter towards the women that I have dated through Craig's list.

With little hesitation, I can honestly say, "No."  Considering how many women I've been with over the years, is rather extraordinary, I would imagine.  I don't have any sense of bitterness of any of the women that I have met over the entirety of my "dating career".   If anything, I miss quite a few of them and I had wished it had worked out better and came out with more of them as friends with all of them instead of just a few.

All of the women that I have met recently were wonderful people; it's just some were a bit crazier than others.
Even when I speak of the mother of my child (spit), I wish her the best; but I would be lying if I didn't have some small amount of glee when I hear some form of comeuppance occur to her because of some idiocy has come back to hit her from some years past.
 
But I digress.

Every single one of the women I have dated, I wished the best. Period.  I want them all to have glorious lives and to be happy.*
There is no comprehension of how some people have a tendency to simply have ugly breakups, but perhaps I was lucky.

Some of the nightmares I've heard that I never had to endure:

Financial(Stolen or embezzled from, Owed, assets not returned, bills not paid, arguments over money),
Mental (Abuse**, degraded**, forced to watch too many chick flicks or the Oxygen Network for hours at a time), or Physical Trauma (Physical and sexual abuse**, Shot, stabbed, anything you should appear on Springer on, etc).

I guess I should consider myself quite lucky, because if any of that occured, I would simply walk away and I would have some negative feelings for those.

* Except that one mentioned previously.
**Non Consenual, that is..

Updates with Teaser

I have had quite a bit of personal drama and work which made it close to impossible to be able get another date with Teaser, but since then we have been talking more and talked about our potential.
Yesterday she dropped a bit of a bomb.
"I'm thinking about moving to St. Louis."
"Really?"
"Yes. My two oldest are gone, and it's just my little one (11y.o.) with me.  I have nothing keeping me in Texas and my family is in St. Louis."

I was a bit taken aback by the whole situation.


This totally changes things between us.   I can't "Date" someone LTR with someone who MIGHT move out of town.   We were unable to finish the conversation, but later on we decided that we would meet at a 24hr joint about midnight.
We promised some smooching action, but I think she's rather open to different possibilities of our relationship, but this talk needs to air things out before we can go forward.

Hmm..Maybe I can scare her off?

Well, Andi seems to be calling and Texting more often, which is driving me a bit crazy.  We're making some headway and it appears that we are slowly mending fences.
The more I thought about it, the more of a bad idea this was, iitially, I thought I might have scared her off with my "Grocery list" and she hung up rather quickly after that.  I took that to mean that I scared her off.

Little did I realize that a few days later, she would text me again.

"You really surprised me with that list."

"Really?"

"It was....fascinating...and perhaps enticing."

"What interested you?"*
"All of it."

"Really?"

"Yes."

For some reason, I never really talked about some of the wilder stuff that I do, but it seemed important now for some reason. Perhaps when I shared the list I'd scare her away and she wouldn't talk to me because I "was a pervert!"

As we talked more, I decided perhaps this would be an ideal way to end it by scaring her by mentioning something over the top!

"You know, I could have made all those things come true."

"Really?"

"OH yes, if we were together, I have no hesitation to spreading your cheeks and having other guys have their way with your ass or pussy while you suck on someone else's cock."

I could have sworn that I heard her gasp over the phone all the way from her city.

"That sounds like it would be fun. Yes, I'd like that."

???

This isn't working out like I had planned.

"Really?"

"Yes, I always wanted that, but all I've had was boring boyfriends."

"OK."  It was the only thing I could think of saying without seeming TOO idiotic.

"I need to get some sleep, and you got me totally wet.  Going to play for a bit, sorry I can't call, but I'm at my cousin's house."

"Okay. Gnite."

WTF?
Just when I thought I figured something out, people throw me for a loop.

* I'll put up a post/link of it on my other blog soon for those that are curious.

Let's Eat, Drink, and go to Mary's! The first Date

A couple of days ago, I had an inspiration to go to the Houston Pride parade and figured that would be a neat first date.  I made the suggestion to Teaser and she readily accepted since she's never gone into that neighborhood before (suburban mom) and thought it would be a neat adventure.

Since I knew traffic and parking was going to be a nightmare, I suggested we'd meet at a hotel and share a cab in.  I got there a few minutes before she arrived and was greeted by an attractive friendly face. Since we had at least four hours before the parade, we sat and had a beer and had some idle talk for a  bit before we decided it was time to head into town before traffic in the area would build up.
After being dropped off at a Greek restaurant, went inside for a quick meal and drink.  After the meal, I leaned over for a tentative kiss and she was quite receptive to it.  My confidence bolstered, we pondered as to what to do and decided she needed to see what the area had to offer.  We stopped at Mary's to make arrangements to get on the roof and got a beer while we were at it. 
Sitting down, we really talked about much, but it was a good convo.  From what I can tell, she was eyeballing everything going on in the bar and after the beers arrived via a scantily clad bartender and predicted that she will see a cock inside of 10 minutes.
Almost on cue, someone dropped their pants and showed of his cock and she just looked at him with a wild-eyed look and we both had a good laugh about that.

Finishing our beers, we wound up hitting the a variety of clothing resell shops, and during our long walk*, she got an eyeful of the various people who had staked out a place along the route.  It was crowded, wild, and if you're not careful, you can easily get lost; so I took the initiative and offered my hand to hold.  She took it without hesitation and that simply gave me the clear that she was comfortable with me.
As we wandered through one store than another, I started to give her a bit of a smooch now and again, some more intense than others.

Eventually, we had back to Mary's before the crowd makes it impossible to move around and sit in the bar. A little after we got out drinks, I started to smooch her a bit and I had moved closer.  She had felt that I was aroused and, I can't remember exactly who instigated it**, but her hand slowly went up my shorts (these as a matter of fact), and I couldn't help myself to adjust my position to allow her more access.  As I felt her gently grip my cock, she slowly started making a stroking motion.  As I looked at her face, the expression had changed, to what I believe, was simply the joy of holding a cock. In a room with at least 90 people with a lip syncing act right behind us.  Her expression changed yet again when I suggested she rubbed the tip and felt the unmistakable texture of precum. 
By this time, my cock was sticking out of my shorts, and I reached down, rubbed the tip and brought my finger up to her lips and coated her lips with my juices and let out a silent moan.  If the bar wasn't full of people, I hardly doubt it would have been silent.
I repeated the gesture again and put rubbed some of it on her tongue.   I was so turned on, I was afraid to ponder what would happen if I reached an orgasm.
Maybe come in my hand and feed it to her?
That possibility died a quiet death as she withdrew her hand and composed herself.  The time to go upstairs quickly arrived and we took our positions to watch the parade.

The rest of the evening was fairly quiet as we enjoyed getting beads from below and simply enjoyed each other's company.  We arrived back at the hotel, talked for a bit in lobby and asked her if she had a good time.
She responded in a positive sense, but hedged a bit on how this was basically her first shot at dating since the divorce and seemed to hedge whether or not she wanted to date.

I understood where her head was, but I question every move that I did. 
Every single move I did, I waited for ANY signal that whatever I was doing was NOT welcome, but at every step, all I got were positive reactions.  We texted each other briefly to make sure she got home okay, but I figured she just wanted to spend time of the kids (read: inquisition).

She went to bed with a short text and, once again, saying that she had a terrific time.
Now I just have to wait and see..the good news is, that she hasn't read the blog since she discovered it.

Yeah, we'll see how long THAT lasts.


*well, considering there wasn't any shade in the 100+ temperature, it WAS long.
** DUH! I probably did.

Why do they come back?

For the past couple of weeks it just seems that old girlfriends come out of the woodwork, within 3 weeks, Andi, Stella, and Stormcloud have contacted me.

Andi has been chatting off and on with me for the past several weeks.  Having decided that I was going to be a passive participant in this by simply giving basically one or two word responses to her various questions and the occasional pauses of what was going on in HER life. She had made more of a concerted effort to contact me, but I really didn't see a point in it.

We didn't discuss US, we didn't talk about good old times.  We simply talked about how our separate lives.
I finally had to question her motives to calling me about nothing.  Most of my friends who call me, we bitch about each other's lives, make plans for dinner, talk about kids, SOMETHING.
But not her.
"What is your point in calling me? I thought we finished this conversation a few months ago." I asked as I tried to keep my temper in check.
"Just want to...I miss you.." She started to say in a quiet voice.
"We're not dating, and I seriously doubt I'm on your dating radar again." I replied.
"Never say never."
Fine. Whatever.
I then discussed how hard it was going back into the dating pool and thought I'd mention how difficult it was to find someone with the same kinks.
She was curious.
I listed them.  We called it "The Grocery List."
There was silence with only the occasional acknowledgment.

After I was done, I waited.

"Some of it seems quite fascinating. You know, I need to go to bed, got to get to the gym in the morning." was the only thing she could say.
"Okay, see you later, bye." as I closed the phone and threw it the phone at the couch in frustration.

Within 24hrs, Stella and Stormcloud Contacted me.

Late into the evening yesterday, I was on the couch semi-dozing, recovering from several days without little sleep when I my phone buzzed with a text msg.
Pushing the cat off, I reached for the phone on the floor, I saw that it wasn't anyone on my contact list.
"[daughter's name] is going to a baseball game with the in-laws.  She's excited to be in town and hopes to see you."
The fog from my doze cleared instantly.
Fuck! It was Stella!
I ignore the msg.   I was done with her.  I refuse to get myself involved with her.   So I ignore the text and go on with my evening.
This evening, I get another text; "She says that the astros aren't doing well.  Can you meet her for drinks after the game?"
What? Is she out of her head?
It took some effort, but I ignored the text.  I don't plan on answering it, but I'm stupid enough to keep it on my phone.  If I had any brains, I'd delete it as soon as I finish this entry.

Finally, Stormcloud.
God bless her, but no.  She calls me up at 4am yesterday.  Instead of a friendly conversation, she starts in on about her financial problems, the problems with her daughter and in-law and such.  I initially was about to offer her some cash (again), until she mentioned a boyfriend.
AWESOME! I'm (hopefully!) FREE!
After listening to about 20 minutes of conversation, as usual, my mood was dropped to the point where even the pope would consider suicide as a form of bliss and would waive the "sin" if I would do it.
On the 8th try, I finally was able to pry a polite way to hang up.


Geeze. I ask again, why don't they just leave me alone and just delete me?

Finally, I have Teaser:
We haven't had a chance to meet, nor have we had even an opportunity to talk on the phone because of our schedules.
Having chatted some more, she seemed more at ease with our potential to date than she had previously.
Since she had discovered my blogs, I tried to spin it as "Hey! you know more of me than most people would when they first meet someone!" and spelled out that she had the advantage.

The more we talked, the more she seemed to enjoy me and I seemed to enjoy her intellect as well and we both agreed that we have a nice mesh of kinks.
I might get more into that, but it made me think that perhaps a list of my kinks might be needed; a "grocery list" if you will.

Ohwell, I think it's time for a nap.